I don't understand these comments suggesting he should go slutting around. A lot of straight couples are formed at our age (18-21).
I wish more gay guys were interested in more than hook-ups.
Sure, and a lot of straight couples end up in divorce or cheating or both. Using straight couples as a standard isn’t setting the bar very high.
I don’t understand why guys decide to remain virgins then grant themselves some kind of superiority complex because they aren’t having sex. If you don’t want to have sex, fine, but that doesn’t make your prospects for finding a relationship any better, nor does it make you a better man.
There are more options than“
slutting around,” and pristine virgin.
This web site is proof that there are a hell of a lot of guys who are interested in more than hooking up, in fact a lot of those guys doing the hooking up are also interested in something more than hooking up, just not with the hot guy they just wanted to bang. It’s not one or the other.
I’ve lusted after plenty of guys you couldn’t pay me to date. But they were a good time in the sheets. I ended up with a guy I met when I was 19. Was it love at first sight? Maybe, maybe not, it was definitely lust at first sight. But then I wasn’t ready to give up my
slutting around, I was barely out, and I was having too much fun.
We didn’t start dating back then, we didn’t play house, he did what he wanted, and so did I, and we danced around each other for 15 years, until my party boy days were done, and he’d grown up, and we both were in the same place at the same time.
A relationship that started at 19, and committed at 35. Which is why I suppose, neither of us have an issue with being in a committed open relationship. We kept snapping back to each other then bouncing away for 15 years, while we were both fucking and dating other guys. I fully expect that this is for the long haul, it’s been battle scarred, and fire tested and didn’t go away. In fact it got stronger.
I wasn’t looking for a relationship at 19, but I found one anyway, just not like I thought it would happen when I was young and starry eyed.
There are no rules about how relationships form, or what paths they take. They’re all different. Which sounds obvious, but of course a lot of guys go into relationships with a head full of fairy tale, always with the same unrealistic expectations, and try to make the guy fit the fairy tale, instead of letting the fairy tale fit the guy.
Hmmm, don’t know where this is going anymore.
OK, my advice, don’t go looking for relationships. Guys who do, usually are not looking for a guy, they’re looking for a fantasy they have in their head, a pretty pastel colored panorama of how it's going to be, and usually try to impose that on some guy it doesn't fit, without really looking closely at him.
Go out, meet a lot of guys, date a few, figure out what kind of real guy you want (and the only way to do that is to put yourself out there,) if you want to fuck some along the way, go for it, if you want to do leather bear orgies, knock yourself out. Being you is being in the process of figuring yourself out, and everyone else, and I see no reason not to tackle things as they present themselves. Hell, there's no need to rush when you're 19.
