Nausea and stress after first failed gay sexual experience.

[dolphingunblade]

Ok so I’m 20 and bi so I decided I wanted to do something because I’m the only one in my group of friends that’s still a virgin, in nerves kissed someone before, iv never dated, they always talk about how fun it is or there first time. And it just makes me feel like in missing out on everything.

so last night I tried to have my first real sexual interaction with another guy, the whole time up the actual event I was incredibly nervous and slightly nauseas, it was both our first time, so we started with oral, after a while it was obvious neither of us was going to cum, we decided to try anal, but both of us were both too nervous to hard again.

So from there we decided it just wasn’t going to work and went home. I should probably mention that it wasn’t with someone I knew, we hooked up over cregs list just for a quickie.

So basically my problem is from the time we stopped IV been nauseated, and just feel bad all around, it’s not guilt or fear of being caught or anything like that, the only way I can describe it as still being nervous, nauseas or stressed. It’s been a day since then and I still feel bad.

Has anyone experienced this before? What it? And how long will it last?

 

[Ohiospeedo]

It is just nerves. I would probably either do 1 of 2 things. One - If you do hook up online again, chat with the guy first until you feel comfortable over a period of time. Two - Go to a gay club/bar and meet someone there.

 

[Sigma-taylor-E]

Nerves dude.....its only nerves

 

[Deandbn]

It also sounds like a bad case of nerves to me. Not being comfortable with your partner, or knowing him well enough. Both of you feeling that you have to perform. Both expectiong too much, and both trying to do too mutch on a first date.

First date: Maybe a bit of touching, caressing, talking, getting to know each other. Also maybe alittle bit of mutual without an expectation of cumming.

second date: maybe a little more vigourous foreplay with a bit more wanking (you will probably feel a little more relaxed and Johnny may not be so shy this time.

10th date: maybe you know each other well enough and trust each other well enough to start thinking of anal sex. Protected of course using condoms. easy does it of course, and very gentle exploration with not too much expectation from either party until both of you are feeling comfortable with how it all works and feels.

I am sure this slower softer approach will work a lot better for you and your bud.

let me know how it goes.

 

[Seasoned]

Not every guy who says they've had sex actually has had sex, so don't feel pressured by your peer group. Although we can behave like it most of us are not animals and our emotions affect our sexual performance. Two inexperienced guys sounds like a sweet senario, but both of you sound like sensitive guys that need more than desire.

If it's just to get it over with seek out a guy with more experience. If you want tender than cultivate a relationship.

You'll be fine as long as you are true to yourself and feel good about your choices.

 

[KaraBulut]

Ok so I’m 20 and bi so I decided I wanted to do something because I’m the only one in my group of friends that’s still a virgin, in nerves kissed someone before, iv never dated, they always talk about how fun it is or there first time. And it just makes me feel like in missing out on everything.
...
So from there we decided it just wasn’t going to work and went home. I should probably mention that it wasn’t with someone I knew, we hooked up over cregs list just for a quickie.
...
Has anyone experienced this before? What it? And how long will it last?

When you wanted to learn to swim, did you run to the deep end and get on the high dive board and hope for the best?

Well, that's kind of what you did here.

Maybe it's time to step back and start a little slower the next time. Instead of taking the "get it over" approach to sex, maybe find someone that you enjoy spending time with, whose company you enjoy and with whom you have enough trust to try again?

 

[dolphingunblade]

When you wanted to learn to swim, did you run to the deep end and get on the high dive board and hope for the best?

.........actually that’s fairly close to what I did....lol...and from what I’m told I did the same when I learned to walk, in that everyone said I just got up one day and started running, I had to learn to walk slowly at a later time.


But anyways. the nervousness is now gone but I still have nausea to the point I had to leave class multiple times, iv also lost my appetite, I’m really hungry but when I get the food I loose all interest, and on top of that I now have a soar throat, but from what I read that’s most likely because I contracted some bacteria from giving head without showering first, or that’s what most of the sites iv read say.

 

[Kratos1]

But anyways. the nervousness is now gone but I still have nausea to the point I had to leave class multiple times, iv also lost my appetite, I’m really hungry but when I get the food I loose all interest, and on top of that I now have a soar throat, but from what I read that’s most likely because I contracted some bacteria from giving head without showering first, or that’s what most of the sites iv read say.

I know exactly how you feel I get this as well. Its called something like "delayed stress disorder". Its not the same as post-traumatic stress disorder but its pretty similar...

Its unexplainable You feel crappy, cant eat and it can come and go for days after the "event". Just know you will gradually feel better...


I think it happens because you are not used to the person. My advice is to meet guys and become happy with them first... perhaps like others have suggested above, or do what I do, and get to know them as friends first and see how things go. The truth is some guys just cant do the one night stand thing.

 

[Nomenclature]

I should probably mention that it wasn’t with someone I knew, we hooked up over cregs list just for a quickie.

I know you're just glancing over this, but that's THE problem right there.


You should be having sex with someone you know and can trust, not with some stranger; all that's going to do is make you nervous and worried:

"Will I be able to perform?"

"Is this guy a maniac?"

"Am I putting myself at risk for STDs?"


etc.


Take all the time you need, but take my advice: If you're looking to have a sexual encounter, don't use an anonymous Craigslist ad anymore, okay?

 

[ayesinwi]

I tried to hook up on craigs list a couple times and once I actually met a guy, and I was so nervous that it was hard for me.

He was nice enough and everything, but in the bedroom we were fairly incompatable and the night ended a good amount earlier than I had expected it too initially.

A bad experience this time can be learned from and you can have a good experience next time.

I've known I was bi for about 11 or 12 years and while I haven't told any family or friends about it (except on individual basis' with friends that I liked and knew were bi) and haven't had a LOT of experience with that side of my sexuality, most of my experiences have been good and fun experiences. Don't get discouraged.