Need a safe place for a gay conservative

[JayQueer]

Hello all,

Some of you may know me here on JUB. I am gay young man who is a conservative & who leans Republican. Furthermore, I am a first-generation American (my parents are immigrants from India but they're now U.S. citizens).

I feel like "coming out" as gay is really difficult for people like me. I feel like a lot of traditional conservatives & Republicans aren't supportive or comfortable around gay people & gay issues. At the same time, the "gay community" as a whole is overwhelmingly liberal & Democrat, and doesn't take too kindly towards gay conservatives & gay Republicans.

I have heard of the Log Cabin Republicans. Are any of you members of the Log Cabin Republicans? Do you know how I can get involved? What kinds of things do you guys do?

I think that it will be healthy for me to be around other openly gay people who share my same views of small government, pro-military, low taxes, and freedom.

I just need to find a safe place where I won't be negatively judged for being gay, but I also won't be negatively judged because I'm conservative.

 

[TX-Beau]

Well, you live in your homophobic parents house, is that not a safe place for a self hating homosexual?

You don't like gay men, you only want to date a "masculine" white guy, you don't want to be associated with the rest of us - all of which you've said yourself, so what is the problem?

You have a web browser, look up the Log cabbies, you don't need us to tell you where to go.

Though I do find it strange that you like to associate with the homophobic and don't want to be associated with the rest of us and yet you are looking for a safe place where you won't be "judged" for being gay.

Why are you Posting this in here anyway, instead of in CE&P where it belongs? Are you afraid of what reaction you"ll get in a outside a no flame zone?

Anyway aren't your parents supposed to be sending you back to India?

 

[Rolyo85]

Um, I don't know you, and I find the topic redundant, but I'll use it to express my utter bafflement that there are gay men who do NOT see the oxymoron in "conservative gay"...

 

[altlover85]

Are you socially conservative, fiscally conservative, or both? Could you elaborate a little more?

 

[Centexfarmer]

I think that it will be healthy for me to be around other openly gay people who share my same views of small government, pro-military, low taxes, and freedom..

To the contrary.

It would be extremely helpful if you left that little bubble that you're living in and get out into the real world, where you'll meet all manner of Gays who don't fall into the same tired old stereotypes that you've lumped the rest of us into.

JayQueer do you ever read what you post here on JUB?

It's interesting to me how you can find down to that last precinct voter turn out of an election, some of the most right-wing news articles, but now suddenly you can't find the number or a web address for the Log Cabin Republicans.

Of course I'm not surprised that you can't find any contact information within the California Republican Party, because the LCR isn't welcomed there.

Perhaps if you worked a little harder on being included within your own party, and stopped blaming the rest of us for your problems, you might actually get somewhere.

 

[JayQueer]

Are you socially conservative, fiscally conservative, or both? Could you elaborate a little more?

I am fiscally conservative but I am socially conservative on many aspects as well. I am religious and I am very pro-life.

I also don't support the rampant promiscuity that is pervasive for a lot of gay men. A lot of gay men are interested in the thrill of the "chase" -- basically to find a hot man, and if the sex isn't good or they get bored, then move on to someone else. Imagine how many deaths from HIV & AIDS could have been prevented if more gay men were monogamous & careful.

I believe in monogamy. When I have said before here on JUB that I only want to have sex with one man, and commit myself to one man, I get all kinds of critical comments.

 

[Rolyo85]

HIV & AIDS are avoided by using protection consistently. Promiscuity plays a much smaller role than prudes want to make it.

Also, if the sex is bad, it WILL cause a rift with your ONE man the same way it will cause a "slutty" guy move on to the next catch.

I take it you've never been in a relationship?

 

[TX-Beau]

I believe in monogamy. When I have said before here on JUB that I only want to have sex with one man, and commit myself to one man, I get all kinds of critical comments.

No the critical comments you got were because you complained that no one wanted to date an "effeminate" Indian guy then turned around and said you only wanted to date a "masculine," white guy.

Hypocrisy is not a pretty thing.

 

[altlover85]

I am fiscally conservative but I am socially conservative on many aspects as well. I am religious and I am very pro-life.

I also don't support the rampant promiscuity that is pervasive for a lot of gay men. A lot of gay men are interested in the thrill of the "chase" -- basically to find a hot man, and if the sex isn't good or they get bored, then move on to someone else. Imagine how many deaths from HIV & AIDS could have been prevented if more gay men were monogamous & careful.

I believe in monogamy. When I have said before here on JUB that I only want to have sex with one man, and commit myself to one man, I get all kinds of critical comments.

Well for one thing gay men don't have the social protections and structures that make monogamy easier. For another, a lot of AIDS deaths could have been prevented if Reagan had gotten on the ball about it sooner. That said, I'm sure there are some guys out there that feel the way you do.

I think LCR would be your best best. I simply find it hard to understand how someone can be gay and socially conservative since those two things generally don't go hand in hand and those that would support family values and the like don't tend to be supportive of gays.

 

[Just_Believe18]

Alright, I'm not buying this.

This is a trolling thread. You're not asking for advice here. You're using this forum to make yourself into yet another "political martyr" to garner attention. You know exactly how to contact and get involved with the Log Cabin Republicans. This is just a bait thread so you can tell everyone for the 100th time why you're "pro-military, pro-life, less taxes, small government, bla bla bla."

You do nothing but undermine and insult other JUBBers here. You are constantly complaining about gay men and unfairly stereotyping others. You also insult the integrity of this community by even making this thread. This is the Coming Out & Relationships forum. This IS a safe place for people to come to for help. In fact, when you first came here, we spent a lot of time offering to help you from your homophobic parents wanting to send you back to India to get married to a girl. Instead, you refused to make any changes in your life, and began to use your membership here at JUB as some kind of crusade to promote your perception of what a "gay conservative" is. Since then, you've alienated yourself from other members. If a straight person came onto this board and said the things you said, they'd be banned. However, the moderators have been more than patient for shit you've said like blaming gays for the HIV/AIDS epidemic in being "too promiscuous."

Now that the cat is out of the bag, I hope the moderators lock this thread immediately. This is a safe place. People help people here. This thread is irrelevant.

 

[JayQueer]

Alright, I'm not buying this.

This is a trolling thread. You're not asking for advice here. You're using this forum to make yourself into yet another "political martyr" to garner attention. You know exactly how to contact and get involved with the Log Cabin Republicans. This is just a bait thread so you can tell everyone for the 100th time why you're "pro-military, pro-life, less taxes, small government, bla bla bla."

No. I am asking for advice & help. I have already made my political views clear, and this tread is not meant to be a political discussion about the merits (or lack thereof) of conservatism.

I know about the Log Cabin Republicans, but I was hoping to ask other JUB'ers their experiences with Log Cabin Republicans, or if they knew of other gay organizations that are welcoming to gay men who hold conservative views.

You do nothing but undermine and insult other JUBBers here. You are constantly complaining about gay men and unfairly stereotyping others. You also insult the integrity of this community by even making this thread. This is the Coming Out & Relationships forum. This IS a safe place for people to come to for help. In fact, when you first came here, we spent a lot of time offering to help you from your homophobic parents wanting to send you back to India to get married to a girl. Instead, you refused to make any changes in your life, and began to use your membership here at JUB as some kind of crusade to promote your perception of what a "gay conservative" is. Since then, you've alienated yourself from other members. If a straight person came onto this board and said the things you said, they'd be banned. However, the moderators have been more than patient for shit you've said like blaming gays for the HIV/AIDS epidemic in being "too promiscuous."

Now that the cat is out of the bag, I hope the moderators lock this thread immediately. This is a safe place. People help people here. This thread is irrelevant.

No, this thread is very relevant. Given how gay conservatives are treated by the larger gay community, gay men like me often feel like we have no home. We are not welcomed by traditional conservatives & Republicans, but we are also scorned and badmouthed by liberals & most of the commenters on JUB. You know it's bad for gay conservatives & Republicans when gay men actually write in their dating profiles, "Will not date a Republican."

Thank you for your suggestions & advice during that time about a month or so ago when my parents were going to send me back to India.

But if your definition of "making changes to my life" is to move to the Castro in San Francisco or West Hollywood, become politically liberal & Democrat and repeat every talking point from the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), I'm sorry but I cannot do that. I have to remain true to who I am, no matter how difficult it may be.

In a world that tries to make you into someone else, sometimes the hardest thing to be is yourself.

 

[altlover85]

I would simply google "gay conservative" and/or ask the question at CE&P.

 

[Just_Believe18]

No. I am asking for advice & help. I have already made my political views clear, and this tread is not meant to be a political discussion about the merits (or lack thereof) of conservatism. I know about the Log Cabin Republicans, but I was hoping to ask other JUB'ers their experiences with Log Cabin Republicans, or if they knew of other gay organizations that are welcoming to gay men who hold conservative views.

No, this thread is very relevant. Given how gay conservatives are treated by the larger gay community, gay men like me often feel like we have no home. We are not welcomed by traditional conservatives & Republicans, but we are also scorned and badmouthed by liberals & most of the commenters on JUB. You know it's bad for gay conservatives & Republicans when gay men actually write in their dating profiles, "Will not date a Republican."

Thank you for your suggestions & advice during that time about a month or so ago when my parents were going to send me back to India.

But if your definition of "making changes to my life" is to move to the Castro in San Francisco or West Hollywood, become politically liberal & Democrat and repeat every talking point from the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), I'm sorry but I cannot do that. I have to remain true to who I am, no matter how difficult it may be.

In a world that tries to make you into someone else, sometimes the hardest thing to be is yourself.

This is not that kind of forum to ask for help for unpopular political organizations. You have no idea how many people have come to this forum in tears asking for help coming out, dealing with closeted relationships, and other circumstances because of social conservative Republicans directly or indirectly making their life hell. You've got the internet and Google, search for it yourself. If you want personal experiences, ask conservative posters in the CE&P forum that you already know of.

There's a deeper underlining reason why your viewpoints are disagreed with. To simplify it as "gay liberals just do not like gay conservatives" is belittling to the situation.

No one gave you advice to have to move to San Francisco or West Hollywood, or that you had to join the HRC. We told you to move out of your parents house, find a job to support yourself, and other suggestions related to improving your self-esteem, self-image, and dating prospects. If that's seriously all you remember from the help you were given in this forum, then it only proves you're not interested in support or advice.

This should be locked, please.

 

[Ganoderma]

No, this thread is very relevant. Given how gay conservatives are treated by the larger gay community, gay men like me often feel like we have no home. We are not welcomed by traditional conservatives & Republicans, but we are also scorned and badmouthed by liberals. (...). In a world that tries to make you into someone else, sometimes the hardest thing to be is yourself.

Hi JayQueer,

Ever thought to relocate to another country, eg The Netherlands? Over here, religious items are no big issue anymore and no one cares about your sexual identity. So there is alot of freedom to do what you like and to find an environment of people you like. Over here, gay people are present in any political party or in any politial movement, including the major christian party. No big deal, and even for them no issue at all if you are gay, straight or anything in between. We only have some minor christian political parties where gays and lesbians are not welcome. We have a variety of liberan and right-winged parties and movements, all of them are non-religious and pro-gay (ie its a non-issue if u r gay or straight or anything in between).

Somehow, I have the idea that you still don't really know what's going on in the real world (within the US). As I am doubting if conservative and / or liberal movements within the US really have problems with gays. Towards my opinion, it are the christian religious movements who have problems with gays. I think you should separate these items.

Finally, I would like to suggest you to pay a visit to India and travel around over there for a lengthy of time. And do this all by yourself and meet as much as possible other Indians. Talk to them, see how they are and see how they react towards you, and try to understand what's their opinion about the US and living in the US. I predict that most guys don't bother at all that you have 'overweight', but that alot are very jealous that you have a US passport.

Best wishes.

 

[MoltenRock III]

I'm sure there's a Chick-Fil-A near you JQ. I've heard they are extremely accepting and inclusive, nor a cause of obesity. Their Persecution Sufferer group meets every Sunday.

 

[KaraBulut]

The problem you're not looking for a group of people to learn from. You want to find a group of people just like you.

Even in a group like LCR, there's a pretty broad range of political views and most gay Republicans aren't going to adhere to the stringently conservative viewpoint that you want. If you're not going listen to other viewpoints and try to think outside the narrow views that you hold on to, there's not much point in seeking out a group of people just because they're gay Republicans.

There's a pattern to all your posts. The common theme in all these issues is that you say that you're unhappy, yet you don't want to change and you want to hang on to your worldview.

Your unhappiness and your worldview are largely connected. It's doubtful that one will change without the other changing.

 

[willie metcaffe]

But if your definition of "making changes to my life" is to move to the Castro in San Francisco or West Hollywood, become politically liberal & Democrat and repeat every talking point from the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), I'm sorry but I cannot do that. I have to remain true to who I am, no matter how difficult it may be.

As I recall, the gist of people's responses and advice here was that you move away from your parents and be your own man. Or at least to remind your parents that you are an adult and can make your own decisions. For the moving out outcome Huntington Beach serves as well as Castro Street. Irvine serves as well as West Hollywood. Get a job, save money, move out, and you're on your way. As for a safe place for a gay conservative, well, I have no helpful answer there and not a lot of motivation. Start a thread for gay conservatives only. I wont post there. But I dont know how many people will...

 

[palbert]

Have you looked into ChristianMingle.com?

 

[SilverWolf]

I also don't support the rampant promiscuity that is pervasive for a lot of gay men.

So does giving blowjobs to married guys fall under that rampant promiscuity?
Or does it not count because they were straight and you were doing them a favor?

I've given blowjobs before to several conservative, married, White men..........all from Orange County, CA.

One was a CEO, the other was a fireman, and the third was an officer in the U.S. Marines.......they were all Republicans (they told me).

And all of them were hot........super hot, actually.........really manly & masculine. Especially the U.S. Marine officer.

They were all straight, but sexually frustrated enough from their lack of sex at home, to let a gay guy give them head.

I believe in monogamy.

Helping sexually frustrated married guys by giving hem blowjobs is a good way to show how much you respect family values.

 

[navigaytion]

So does giving blowjobs to married guys fall under that rampant promiscuity?
Or does it not count because they were straight and you were doing them a favor?





Helping sexually frustrated married guys by giving hem blowjobs is a good way to show how much you respect family values.

I find this behavior extremely hypocritical. Extremely.