Need a safe place for a gay conservative

[Rolyo85]

I find it mostly absolutely, fabulously, hilarious ^_^

 

[pai mei]

Hello all,

Some of you may know me here on JUB. I am gay young man who is a conservative & who leans Republican. Furthermore, I am a first-generation American (my parents are immigrants from India but they're now U.S. citizens).

I feel like "coming out" as gay is really difficult for people like me. I feel like a lot of traditional conservatives & Republicans aren't supportive or comfortable around gay people & gay issues. At the same time, the "gay community" as a whole is overwhelmingly liberal & Democrat, and doesn't take too kindly towards gay conservatives & gay Republicans.

I have heard of the Log Cabin Republicans. Are any of you members of the Log Cabin Republicans? Do you know how I can get involved? What kinds of things do you guys do?

I think that it will be healthy for me to be around other openly gay people who share my same views of small government, pro-military, low taxes, and freedom.

I just need to find a safe place where I won't be negatively judged for being gay, but I also won't be negatively judged because I'm conservative.

i will give you your best advice you'll ever hear: don't support members from your party who wish to deny you and your lgbt brothers & sisters legal rights, and dont talk to liberal gay guys the same way the "prototypical republican" candidate does, with negative stereotypes and the defense of anti-gay sentiments. are there negative stereotypes that DO apply to some gay guys? absolutely there are. but it doesn't mean that that is relevant to *almost* any discussion, (it may come up at some point, but quite frankly, it's very rare) and when you jump to them, it immediately lumps you in (at least in the minds of everyone you're interacting with) with the people who make the same generalizations, who quite frankly, hate us.

i have zero problem with conservatism, but i do have a problem with the new right, and the strong anti-gay message that pervades it. i dont think a lot of gays will judge you IF you are sensitive to the fact that u shouldn't be supporting anti-gay candidates/politicians, because those politicians and their constituencies hurt us. i dont mean, they 'hurt our cause,' tho, they certainly do, no, they hurt many of us psychologically, and the 'liberal gays' will be very quick to turn against you whenever u are defending your conservatism without clearly distancing yourself from anti-gay stances and the politicians who support that.


now, that was my advice.... i've read a number of your posts, and i seriously doubt you will take it, because i don't believe you're capable of tempering yourself consciously. that's my opinion though, and if i'm wrong, you'll have to prove me wrong on that.

but yeah... that's your problem summed up in the first paragraph. around gay guys you're the conservative who supports movements, people, politicians, who help kids kill themselves. around republicans you're the homo who no one really believes is worthy of equal legal status. hey, i get it, but you dont have to be either one of those. you don't have to clash with liberal gays if u are willing to really analyse conservative politicians on gay rights issues and subsequently abandon politicians who don't fit the bill. if a gay guy is incredulous that you're a republican, you can respond that you don't support bachman or perry, or any other anti-gay politician, and that there are pro-gay republicans that you do support. and when u really know your stuff you can name republicans that they've likely never heard of before that u get to really admire, who are conservative AND support our legal battles, and then you get to tell your haters to shut the f*** up. (well, u probably shouldn't tell them that lol, u do want to be accept afterall no one likes an asshole)

of course that means that you're serious about being innately political, and therefor serious about REALLY knowing the republican party. knowing where the splits are within it. knowing how to talk to a gay guy who is clearly hostile to the republican party and being able to melt away any concerns over hatred that republicans send our way. of course, you'll never be able to convince a liberal gay guy that michelle bachman or rick perry or whoever is a candidate that YOU should ever support, but if you really do your research you'll be able to show them how you're not a hypocrite, how you're not throwing gay teens who kill themselves under the bus, who might not of done it had someone, anyone, stood up for them and allowed a fucking anti-gay-teen-suicide bill to pass.

on the flip side you need to be able to talk to conservatives on all the economic issues and agree with them, but at the same time be able to reconcile your homosexuality, and even further, that you deserve *every* legal benefit they enjoy, with republican ideology, and how many republicans already agree with you.

that's your dilemma, really. that's the real dilemma for you anyways, not where some mythical bastion of conservative gays reside treat gays not as the big names in the republican party do, but as someone who wants all equal rights. treat republicans like economically like-minded people, who share the same ideological stance of small government, but equal legal rights for all. (which is certainly not adverse to republican ideology, not at the base level anyways)

 

[Gatorguy]

Brilliantly said pai mei.

 

[maxpowr9]

Your unhappiness and your worldview are largely connected. It's doubtful that one will change without the other changing.

To quote Leo Tolstoy: "Everyone thinks about changing the world, but nobody thinks about changing themselves."

I grow weary of your one-track mind. I would seriously suggest going out and visiting the world or even other parts of the US. The fact that you are "of age" and still living under your parent's roof, jobless shows how tactless you are. Get a job, move out and live on your own or with friends for a bit. Being stuck in a state of adolescence is not healthy for you or your family.

 

[chance1]

My simple stupid advice is in sync with centex

you need to meet and interact with others UNLIKE yourself

being gay and conservative IMO is not a bad thing - and I think the above posters here who demonize you for being so (will take you at your word that you're authentic) are attacking you for being you - which is ironic since it is the essence of our struggle

we like men - let us like men - it's who we are

anyway .........

your threads seem designed to illicit negative response and many here bit

if you are indeed authentic - find someone with not so similar views

that way you will understand the world better

and might find someone that broadens your life

 

[JayQueer]

^ Thanks, Chance1.

I respect your advice.

 

[SuprSonic]

Jay,

You don't like yourself, so don't be surprised when people similar to yourself don't like you either.

I think the advice others have given you is worth repeating. You need to get out of your parents' house and interact with people who are different from you. You don't have to move to the Castro or West Hollywood (as if most gays could afford to live in those places to begin with). In fact, I'd say the best thing for you would be to move into a low rent area and meet some folks have haven't lived their entire life with the privilege you're accustomed to.

 

[JayQueer]

Jay,

You don't like yourself, so don't be surprised when people similar to yourself don't like you either.

I think the advice others have given you is worth repeating. You need to get out of your parents' house and interact with people who are different from you. You don't have to move to the Castro or West Hollywood (as if most gays could afford to live in those places to begin with). In fact, I'd say the best thing for you would be to move into a low rent area and meet some folks have haven't lived their entire life with the privilege you're accustomed to.

SuprSonic,

I'm thinking about moving out. But I just don't know where exactly I want to move. I'm thinking about Costa Mesa.

I want to have underground or covered parking for my Mercedes, and it needs to be a place that allows pets. My dog Moo-Moo has to come with me too.

 

[Seasoned]

There's a difference between being a conservative and proselytizing. Be kind to people and maintain the secrecy of the ballot box.

 

[SuprSonic]

SuprSonic,

I'm thinking about moving out. But I just don't know where exactly I want to move. I'm thinking about Costa Mesa.

I want to have underground or covered parking for my Mercedes, and it needs to be a place that allows pets. My dog Moo-Moo has to come with me too.

I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that this post was another product of your sheltered and privileged experience and not just trolling.

Do you mean your Mercedes or your dad's Mercedes?

I'm pretty sure that being self-reliant is a conservative value. You're in school and not working right? Well, why don't you get a place near school, and forget about the car until you can afford one on your own. Walking and taking the bus will also help you lose weight.

 

[TX-Beau]

That really just sounds like he's making it up.

I don't know if his family has money or not, I tend to think a lot of that is invention or wishful thinking - take your pick.

What I do believe is what JayQueer says about wanting to marry a rich white guy and go be kept somewhere he never has to work or stand on his own.

Which is directly contradictory to his threads and posts complaining about how no one wants to date a brown Indian guy. Well, if you won't date your own damn self that kind of says it all.

Its also really at odds with his professed political beliefs. Which is why I think that his politics are a function of his hatred of anything gay - including himself.

 

[maxpowr9]

That really just sounds like he's making it up.

I don't know if his family has money or not, I tend to think a lot of that is invention or wishful thinking - take your pick.

What I do believe is what JayQueer says about wanting to marry a rich white guy and go be kept somewhere he never has to work or stand on his own.

I'm inclined to agree. If he came from money, his parents would pay for his own place then. I have a friend in that exact situation so that is what is tripping my BS detector. He basically lives on his own in Tampa whom I visited back in April. His mom pays for his apt and his lemon yellow truck. Yes, he does work but not enough to maintain his "lifestyle".

If your parents can actually afford for you to have a Mercedes, they can afford to put you up somewhere. Anything said else wise is just a flagrant lie.

 

[JayQueer]

That really just sounds like he's making it up.

I don't know if his family has money or not, I tend to think a lot of that is invention or wishful thinking - take your pick.

What I do believe is what JayQueer says about wanting to marry a rich white guy and go be kept somewhere he never has to work or stand on his own.

Which is directly contradictory to his threads and posts complaining about how no one wants to date a brown Indian guy. Well, if you won't date your own damn self that kind of says it all.

Its also really at odds with his professed political beliefs. Which is why I think that his politics are a function of his hatred of anything gay - including himself.

No, I'm not making it up.

I come from a middle class family. We're certainly not super rich -- we shop at Costco, Wal-Mart, and even the 99 cent store sometimes.

The Mercedes is a "hand-me down" from my dad. It's 10 years old and has over 150,000 miles on it. But I keep it clean & in good shape, make sure it's regularly maintained, etc.

My parents can afford to pay for an apartment for me, but they don't want me to live outside the house right now because they say that they "don't trust me." They think I'm going to "start doing drugs" and "having promiscuous sex with other men." My dad said to me last month, "Once you go into that dark 'lifestyle,' men will use you for sex and you will die alone & with AIDS."

 

[TX-Beau]

So mommy and daddy don't want you out of their sight because you'll become a strung out godless used manhole dying of aids?

They sure have a very low opinion of you.

You just accept that and stay meekly under their thumb. you sure have a low opinion of you.

Where is your self respect?

 

[SuprSonic]

So, move out anyway. Get a job and use your student loans to help pay your living expenses if you have to. You're a grown man. You don't need permission from your parents to do anything.

 

[Rolyo85]

Ok guys, cut it out. Which one of you invented this guy? I mean, he HAS to be imaginary, right?

 

[JayQueer]

Ok guys, cut it out. Which one of you invented this guy? I mean, he HAS to be imaginary, right?

No, I can assure you that I am real.

I am a gay Indian-American (as in India) from Southern California. I have a lot of politically conservative views. My dad is involved with the Republican Party at the local level, and he routinely makes donations to conservative Republican candidates.

Growing up, political conservatism was a big part of my upbringing. My dad regularly listened (and still does) to Rush Limbaugh & Dave Ramsey. My mom is a big fan of Dr. Laura. I was in the Boy Scouts growing up, and my troop's Scoutmaster ran for local office (& won), as a conservative Republican.

I have been to a private fundraising event where Sarah Palin was the keynote speaker about a year or so ago, and I met Rudy Giuliani at a private Republican fundraiser when he was running for president in 2008.

 

[TX-Beau]

Oh spare us all, you think you're the only one from that kind of background, I grew up in BFE Texas for god's sake and I guarantee you that's far less accepting than any kind of community in So Cal Republican or not.

Republicans thereabouts will still bash your gay ass if you let them and the Republican cops there won't give a damn. Plus those republicans don't want your foreign and brown and therefore disreputable and suspect parents anywhere near their Lilly white party - and those Republicans are in the majority of your party.

Surprise surprise I still managed to be my own man. My own out and proud, pansy ass, GAY man.

YOU won't take responsibility for your own damn life and all the rest of the things you say are simply justifications for that.

 

[TX-Beau]

Ok guys, cut it out. Which one of you invented this guy? I mean, he HAS to be imaginary, right?

I'm quite sure some of it is imaginary, but I'm also quite sure he's a deeply self loathing gay man who truly can't see the forest for the trees,

 

[altlover85]

No, I'm not making it up.

I come from a middle class family. We're certainly not super rich -- we shop at Costco, Wal-Mart, and even the 99 cent store sometimes.

The Mercedes is a "hand-me down" from my dad. It's 10 years old and has over 150,000 miles on it. But I keep it clean & in good shape, make sure it's regularly maintained, etc.

My parents can afford to pay for an apartment for me, but they don't want me to live outside the house right now because they say that they "don't trust me." They think I'm going to "start doing drugs" and "having promiscuous sex with other men." My dad said to me last month, "Once you go into that dark 'lifestyle,' men will use you for sex and you will die alone & with AIDS."

I'm sorry if you already answered this, but are you a student at the current time?

If you've graduated what are your future plans?

I totally understand why you'd want to live at home, but it sounds like a toxic environment. I'd work on saving up and moving out or completing school and then saving up and moving out if I were you.

If you really want to find a guy that can take care of you, they are out there, but just be aware that when there's that kind of inequality in the relationship usually you aren't treated as an equal.