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Need advice… urgent

Stitch627

Stitch627

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Yesterday night, I went to a club with a group of friends I got to know recently. It was really fun. This morning, when I woke up, I realized I got a text from one of the guys (let’s call him Y): “I shouldn’t tell you this, and especially not this way, but I really wanted to kiss you”.
Well, I am not surprised, I thought he liked me. The problem is I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to answer, or if I should answer. The guy is nice, has a really hot body, that’s for sure. Yet, he could have a cuter face… If he had made a move on me yesterday night, we would have probably responded positively. We would have kissed and maybe even had sex. But I don’t think I would want to be in a relationship with him. I mean I don’t know. Maybe I’m just chickening out…
I don’t want to repeat my latest relationship. The previous guy was nice and really into me. So it felt good that someone was interested in me. But actually I wasn’t that into the guy. I settled for easy and I don’t want to do that again.
So yeah I could mess around with Y. Why not? But at the same time, I wouldn’t want to jeopardize my friendship with this new group, in which I’m trying to get my way into.

What do you think I should do? Reply? Or not? And what if so?
 
Update: I have just received another text from the guy saying: “I hope you’re not mad at me for last night message”.
So, now I have to reply…
 
Would something like that be ok?

No, of course, I am not mad. On the contrary, it’s quite flattering. I didn’t get to see your message yesterday night, and I just woke up…

And then I dunno know what to write
 
Well i have sent this:

No, of course, I am not mad. On the contrary, it’s quite flattering. I didn’t get to see your message yesterday night, and I just woke up

I don't think I could wait any longer before replying. He texted me back "ok".

Should I reply? God, I really suck in this kind of situations
 
Jeezus. He just said he was interested. He didn't ask for your hand in marriage.

Text him back. "Well, ask me out and maybe you can have a second chance for that kiss".

And stop overthinking it.
 
KaraBulut said:
Jeezus. He just said he was interested. He didn't ask for your hand in marriage.

Text him back. "Well, ask me out and maybe you can have a second chance for that kiss".

And stop overthinking it.
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^^^^


Really the more you keep doing this high school girl stuff it could turn him off. Tell him you'd like to go out for lunch or a drink after work and talk somemore about that kiss. Be more assertive yet not overly bold at first.
 
you are acting like a schoolgirl and have to say m8 quote he has a hot bod but his face could be cuter unquote.
If that is how you react to and think of people then rather than string the poor guy along say thanks i feel really flattered but have just come out a relationship and your not quite ready for another one.
 
Hey guys, I was asking for advice. I don't need you to tell me that I am acting like a stupid schoolgirl.
I am used neither to dating guys, nor to relationships. So I may sound stupid and I am probably overthinking all this, but this is not easy for me to figure out what I want.
And I never said i wanted to date him.
 
Well, sometimes you don't like the advice you get.

Look, all that texting and angst is like passing notes in high school. Which is why you're getting the reaction you're getting.

It's kinda immature and really prone to misunderstanding, not to mention a pretty big crutch.

I'm assuming you're pretty young, since if you're like 35, and still having these issues you've got bigger problems.

Anyway, get off the text machine. Talk to the guy, be honest. Frankly you don't want him, if you did - in the least little bit - this would be a different conversation. At most, it sounds like you'd like to keep him on the line as a backup.

Why do I say that? Because of the way you described him, the comment that if you were still drunk you'd do him, but not in the harsh light of morning, etc.

I'm not saying you're an ass, I'm not telling you to do one thing or another, I'm pretty much telling you that unless both of you know what the game is explicitly, one of you is going to get hurt, and the other will be the bastard.

Be honest, don't hide behind pixels - it's a lot harder to fuck someone over (intentionally or unintentionally) face to face - play safe, don't fuck with people's heads. That's the advice you need, right there.
 
TX-Beau said:
Anyway, get off the text machine. Talk to the guy, be honest. Frankly you don't want him, if you did - in the least little bit - this would be a different conversation. At most, it sounds like you'd like to keep him on the line as a backup.

Why do I say that? Because of the way you described him, the comment that if you were still drunk you'd do him, but not in the harsh light of morning, etc.

I'm not saying you're an ass, I'm not telling you to do one thing or another, I'm pretty much telling you that unless both of you know what the game is explicitly, one of you is going to get hurt, and the other will be the bastard.

Be honest, don't hide behind pixels - it's a lot harder to fuck someone over (intentionally or unintentionally) face to face - play safe, don't fuck with people's heads. That's the advice you need, right there.
Click to expand...

Unfortunately, that's the same advice I would give. Texting leads to so much misunderstanding- believe me, been there, done that. He might have a slight crush on you, and maybe said that he wanted to kiss you because he was horny lol. The most important thing that you said earlier is that you don't want to jeopardize your friendship with him or your other friends. So sit down and talk to him about this openly, and let him know that he's a really nice guy, and you don't want to ruin your friendship. But do it nicely, and don't like totally reject him. Sorry I can't be of more help- this is a pretty sticky situation, to be sure.
 
@TX-Beau: Indeed, at first, I didn't appreciate the advice. But afterwards, I have to admit you may have a point...
It's true I have been a bit overthinking all this. I may have been freaking out a little.
And I don't think I am an immature ass. I am not. Well... maybe a bit regarding relationships, but even I'd rather say that I am unexperienced, even though I'm 27... :(

The next time, I'll see him, we'll see how it goes, and we'll clear things up.

And btw, two texts, that's not a lot of texting to me.
 
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