need advice about a guy i'm seeing

[kiddycool89]

Hi guys, this is the first time i've posted here, and i just need your advice.
so there's this guy i'm currently hanging out with, and he's amazing, cute, funny and all that. i've fallen pretty hard for him and i really want to be with him, cos he's the only guy that has ever made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside whenever i'm with him.
but anyway, we went out for dinner one night (two weeks ago) and i asked him what he thought of me, and he said that he did like me, but he's not ready for a relationship, and that he wanted me to wait until he's ready. he then says that if he ever hears that i find someone else, he would get angry. after that night, he's rung me almost every night and in one conversation he asked me whether my new personal trainer was hot, to which i said "no, i think your hotter". he then says "good" and seemed happy about it. he's also called me sweet and cute, and in his txt messages, he calls me babe.
but here's the problem, we were meant to hang out on thursday, but thing's keep popping up for him, like his cousin visiting, or him getting hungover, even though he promises that we'll hang out the next day. our hang-out has now been postponed until sunday.
do you guys think it's worth me waiting around for someone who can't even be bothered to make time for me?? it's only in the past few days that he's acting weird... the week before was pretty much heaven.
But here's another bigger problem!! my friend who uses manhunt only today informed me that he has saw the guy i'm seeing on manhunt and that his last login was today!! it was a bit of a slap on the face... i mean why would you act so possessive, yet seek other dudes on manhunt?? what should i do? should i confront him about this?? should i just breathe a bit and give him the benefit of the doubt before i issue him with the ultimatum??

if u were in my position, would it bother you if he actively uses manhunt?

i know this post is probably pretty self explanatory to you guys, but i just want another person's perspective. and sorry about the length

 

[savboy]

Just imagine his reaction if he found out that YOU were logging onto Manhunt.

 

[kiddycool89]

Just imagine his reaction if he found out that YOU were logging onto Manhunt.

i actually dont have a manhunt account, cos i'm kinda new to all of this, and i'm not the kind of person to get it just to spite someone.. but i see where you're coming from

 

[kiddycool89]

i don't think logging onto manhunt is that big of a deal; but the whole "wait for me until i'm ready" is a bad bad sign; at best he's insecure (though selfish) and not ready for any relationship, and at worst he's toying with you for kicks and maybe an ego boost. i'd say move on because chances are you'll get hurt bad here.

i also forgot to mention that his ex passed away exactly a year ago, which is why i feel i shud be more understanding....

 

[KaraBulut]

i asked him what he thought of me, and he said that he did like me, but he's not ready for a relationship, and that he wanted me to wait until he's ready.

Ready tomorrow.... next week... next year.. next decade?

But here's another bigger problem!! my friend who uses manhunt only today informed me that he has saw the guy i'm seeing on manhunt and that his last login was today!! it was a bit of a slap on the face... i mean why would you act so possessive, yet seek other dudes on manhunt??

Because he wants the stability of someone to date but he's not ready to settle down and he wants to see what else is out there.

what should i do? should i confront him about this?? should i just breathe a bit and give him the benefit of the doubt before i issue him with the ultimatum??

if u were in my position, would it bother you if he actively uses manhunt?

The Manhunt thing is a symptom, not the cause.

Here's the deal. It's good that you had a "state of the relationship" talk with this guy. What you didn't do is say what you wanted. You gave away the power and the decision-making in your relationship to the other guy. It's good that he told you that he didn't want a serious relationship. But you accepted his terms.

YOU need to make up your mind what YOU want. If you are willing to settle for a guy that won't commit and is more than likely not being faithful to you, then that's your decision to make. On the other hand, if you want to use your time and energy to find a guy with the same values that you have and who is willing to make a commitment, then dump him and move on.

 

[racer2438]

He sounds insecure and has jealousy issues. This is about you and what you want and need.

I think this one is going to have some drama issues. Waiting for him to get ready can take who knows how long.

You may wants to rethink this one, and kep your options open.

If you start out withthese issues in a new relationship thats a bad sign that things will not work out.

Rethink this one... while it is still early...

 

[spencer]

I think you can keep him as an open option while dating other guys. You don't have to tell him you're dating other guys. If he asks to hang out with you tell him the truth, say you're busy Friday but Saturday you're free. If he asks further, just admit it's a date. Point is don't wait exclusively for him. Especially if he's messing around. If he can mess around, you can date.

 

[rareboy]

He's nuttier than squirrel shit.

Run away from him. Really fast.

He's just a controlling headcase. You don't need to wait around for someone to decide when they're ready to have a relationship.

Just tell him you're busy from here on in and maybe tell him that you've actually met someone who is as hot as he is but who's ready to spend time with you.

Then whack off so that you haven't lied to him and get out there and find a good guy.

 

[KaraBulut]

...tell him that you've actually met someone who is as hot as he is but who's ready to spend time with you.

Then whack off so that you haven't lied to him...

Love this.