I am turning 40 in a few weeks. My mate and I have been together for 17 years. We have a very intense relationship. He is the greatest guy you'll ever meet...kind, generous, caring...he's just a doll. But he is extremely opinionated, very conservative, and can be totally impossible to deal with sometimes. He is the oldest kid in his family, and I am the youngest in mine (never mind I'm 40). You can imagine the sort of relationship we have. We have really never been equals. I am the kid and he is the adult. Neither of us are into roles, though...so he would totally deny any problem here. We live in his hometown (small and limiting) in the house he grew up in. He is not out to anyone in his family (never mind he's been living with a guy for 17 years). He is extremely family oriented...I am not. He feels like he needs to invite me to all of his family events...and we usually end up in a fight over it. Holidays SUCK. Every single holiday with him that I can remember...I have had to share him. His family (and he) are ultra-conservative...sometimes to the point of nausea. I, on the other hand, am not political at all. Democrats and republicans alike make me kind of sick and I think they are all as phony as can be.
Sometimes, I catch a glimpse of my life with him, and realize what a huge investment I have in him. 17 years is like a lifetime in relationship terms. But I don't think I am truly, TRULY happy. And I'm not sure what I should do. Losing him would be like living without my left arm (I'm left-handed). But I feel like I have sacrificed so much...and I wonder if we truly are compatible and should stay together for the greater good. Any smart people out there want to give me advice?
Sometimes, I catch a glimpse of my life with him, and realize what a huge investment I have in him. 17 years is like a lifetime in relationship terms. But I don't think I am truly, TRULY happy. And I'm not sure what I should do. Losing him would be like living without my left arm (I'm left-handed). But I feel like I have sacrificed so much...and I wonder if we truly are compatible and should stay together for the greater good. Any smart people out there want to give me advice?