Need advice on beginning to have sex

[Tahlrix]

Hey everyone, Tahlrix here. I'll start by saying I know there's lots of threads about this and I've read many of them, but I still have some questions. Also to the mod, if this is in the wrong sub forum I apologize; I wasn't sure where to put it.

I've basically been talking to this guy for quite a while and we're talking about having sex. Yes it's probably a little early but it's something we both want. I'm very inexperienced, only sucked a guy twice (badly) and never done anal. I've read the "All about anal" thread in Health and Well-being so I know anal cleanliness is going to be under control and if not, shit happens. It'd be embarrassing but I think I could get past it if he could.

I have an "average" 6 inch Dildo that I can get in, but it takes a while and still hurts a bit. He's 8.5, so how is it best to work up to something that big? I'm worried about stretching right before sex and also being able to relax when the time comes.

Also, I really like to please. I want to give him wonderful head (I've read some tips on these forums) but I do have a gag reflex and still don't really breathe when I'm going down on a guy. I'm trying to do the toothbrush thing to desensitize the gag spot, but the one thing I can't find on these forums is if anyone's used oral desensitizers or "deep throat mints"? If so, did they work? I'm a little worried they'll desensitize his penis and I don't want that.

Thanks for reading and in advance for advice.
Cheers.

 

[youfiad]

Most guys understand that experience is gained through trial and error and just time. If he knows it's your first time, he would probably be more than undestanding if it isn't the best.

That being said, it's not that hard. Just go with the flow. use lube, and have a good time!!!

 

[Tahlrix]

Thank you youfiad. Hopefully he does understand. I just hate to be bad at it, be nervous, and not very confident in my own body. Don't want him to drop me like a hot rock!

 

[topspin66]

Tahlrix, as a very experienced top I can tell you everyone is different. For oral, I don't always like deep throat as it's the head that needs attention to make me cum. I'm impressed when a dude deep throats my 7" cock but what I miss is the attention to the head. I still sometimes gag after all these years and all those sucked cocks but no one is complaining once they blow a load. Just do what you can and tickle his fancy in other fun ways.

For anal, most tops are just happy to be fucking! It doesn't always have to be be balls deep. Again, I sometimes like to thrust just 2 or 3 inches right before I cum. And the sensation of cumming in a hole is quiet different from pulling out and cumming on the guy's back or stomach. Acutally, I think it's more sexy to pull out and show them what good work they've done by letting them see the cum shoot out.

I think porn has made everyone think they need to fuck like a rock star. If this is someone with whom you are sharing an intimate connection, then just the simple pleasure of any sex is enough. If he demands complete and total 8.5" shaft plunges, then maybe he's not the one. Look, I'm 46 y/o and my partner is a few years older. He loves to bottom but when I first put my cock in each time he still backs up. It's cute and funny that after all these years he still needs to ease into it. Sometimes it's slow and easy and sometimes I fuck the shit out of him but it's always with his consent. Your top should always be in tune with how you are progressing. As a top it's no fun fucking a guy who is squirming all over the place cause then your cock starts to slip out and bend.

So just relax. And while you are taking it slow try to focus on his nipples, reach around for his balls, deep tongue kiss him...those things go a long way to awesome ejaculations! In the end, you literally feel your way through it. You'll know the next morning if he rings your bell. Best of luck and as you mature you won't even think about.

 

[Tahlrix]

Thanks topspin, that actually made me feel a lot better

 

[KaraBulut]

Well, the part of the story that is missing here is the circumstance under which all this is happening.

You've said that you're talking with this guy, you both want to have sex and he's 8.5". Is this a web-chat thing where you're talking about hooking up with someone from the internet that you haven't met and don't really have a relationship with?

If that's the case, it probably won't matter whether you have a gag reflex or whether you can suck a golf ball through a garden hose. If this hookup ever happens, this guy is probably not looking for someone with top-notch skills. He's just looking for a warm body for the night.

On the other hand, if this is someone that you've been talking to and that you're interested in dating, then you have plenty of time to sort all of this out. You don't have to do everything in one night.

 

[Tahlrix]

We did meet online, not for a hookup but for dating. As bad as it sounds, while we've been talking we both also realized we're kind of wanting to have sex and not wait. I guess we'll see how it goes. If he is lying and just wants a hook up I'm at least determined to have a good time.

 

[palbert]

I take it you haven't met. An initial meeting on neutral ground may be wise. It will also affect expectations.

 

[rareboy]

Need advice on beginning to have sex?

Step One.

Meet the guy.

I'll foillow up with Step Two once you've met.