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Need advice/venting

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Heeeeey (*8*)... you know what? I feel exactly the same from time to time. I don't exactly know what to say. This is very touching, because I know exactly what you're talking about.

Sometimes, I just feel that there is no point and that I'm more of a burden and people would probably do better without me! Why am I still trying to be so successful in life if I have no one to share the success with? Hang in there! it's going to be alright. It's ok to cry... I do sometimes. You're not alone in this. I'm pretty sure that there are other people out there who feel the same way. If you choose to sink in the ocean, then the one who is destined to have you with him will lose you forever. Save yourself for him... for you. When the day comes, you can cry on their shoulder, and then you'll be ok.

We're here for you ;) (*8*)
 
Well mate, I remember when I was you age, a long time ago. I was not the jock, or a popular guy, etc. I was an outcast, and had few friends. Not anyone I could say I loved either. (Pretty much a loner!) My family was disfunctional also. I worked 2 jobs also to go to collage, so I know where your at.

I found says yo coup with the situation. Found something that i liked to do, did a lot of camping, hiking, and mountain climbing to get away and get rid of all the stress. Also got me away from the pain in the ass people at school, work and at home.

You need to channel yourself and get some time for you mate. It is your life, and no one elses.

Your just 18 and starting out. Do not get into drugs again, or booze, or poppin pills. It is only a temporary "fix" at best!

School is almost over and if your leaving the country to live you can start a new life there and be who you are. The is only ONE you, and you have something unique to offer, besides love.

I am much older than you, but I can tell you that it will get better and you will find the man your looking for!
 
I agree that substances aren't going to solve your problems--the escape is only temporary and generally makes the underlying problems worse. Make a plan for how you're going to change your life. Maybe that involves focusing on school and being anti-social for a while. Maybe that means waiting until a less stressful time to come out and develop your social life. You're only hopeless when you can't see a light at the end of the tunnel. Figure out how you're going to get to the end of the tunnel.
 
Im not sure if Im going through depression again or what, but I just want to give up and sink to the bottom of the ocean. All this just makes me more weary to come out since It'll probably triple the psycological weight that I carry around. Any words of encouragement or advice? I started poppin pills and doin weed and booze when I went through a depression last time and it actually makes you forget about things while you are outta it and its a relief, and I'm considering it.

Okay, yes, you sound like you are going through a depressive cycle. This is nothing to be ashamed of, but something to deal with. Your neurochemistry is responsible and it can be put to rights without resorting to hiding inside a cocoon of booze and unregulated use of other drugs.

First thing. Stop eating junk. No msg, no fructose. That means almost all processed food. If you're sitting in front of your computer until 3 am in the morning, stop it. Turn it off.

So. Next thing, make an appointment with a family doc. Get a check-up and tell him that you are feeling anxious and depressed.
Be honest. Through him or through a local LGBT organization, find a good gay positive counsellor to help you work through some of the issues around coming out and becoming an adult.

Make a list of the things that please you and the things that depress or bother you. This post is a good first step. It sounds like you are doing a lot of the 'right' things in terms of finishing your education. To be going to school and working 48 hours a week would put an unbelievable amount of stress on anyone, so hopefully you won't have to do this when you're in trade school.

Oh, and don't worry about the childhood friends you've lost. Most of them were pals, not friends. Contrary to the current fashion of getting 1000 people you vaguely know or care about to call themselves your friends, your true friends are likely yet to come in your life.

I think it would do you a world of good to be able to tell someone you are gay and to stop feeling like you are carrying around this incredible burden. I mean, you've spilled the beans to us and we all love you all the more for it. There is someone out there to tell, if only a doc or counsellor or sympathetic co-worker.

Now get some sleep. You've got a real life ahead of you.
 
Being 18 and in your last few months of high school is a stressful time.

And yep, you're depressed- no wonder. You are pushing yourself too hard with work and school. You're not allowing yourself enough time to take care of yourself and enjoy your life.

Simplify your life.

Cut back on the work hours. Focus on finshing high school. Get some friends.

And most important of all- get a life and enjoy it for a change. It's supposed to be fun. Do stuff for your own enjoyment whether that be the gym, a hobby or just getting away from it all for a few hours.

If it doesn't get better, then it is time to see your doctor for a checkup and maybe consider getting a counselor that you can talk to.

Good luck.
 
When you get the urge to do weed, do this:

1. package that weed up tight
2. mail it to me

:p

Seriously, MJ is not a tool for fighting depression; it just makes you care less that you're depressed. Neither is alcohol -- it gives you a lift for maybe ten minutes if you're lucky, and then it's down, down, down.
If you enjoy those items, save them for when you're with friends.

Meanwhile, if anyone tries to give you grief, just remember: they're not in charge of your life. They don't own you -- you own you.
And unless you signed up for competing against others to see who can "Make The Best Life", none of those folks calling you skinny or whatever are your judges, either.

For the empty days -- I'm in the same place, dude. I got no advice on getting out and finding SomeOne Special; all I can say is keep on keeping on.
 
ummmmm, drugs and alcohol are never the answer. Everyone gets depressed, but you have to fight through it. This might sound bad and mean, but drugs and alcohol are for weak people. (although alcohol in moderaton can be fun). You just need to fight through, itll be tough, yea, but fuck it, dont care what other people think. Cut back on something if you need to. Everything you are doing is imortant but your only 18, you have your whole life ahead of you. I've done the whole 80 hours a week while in school thing, it doesnt work and is not worth it. plus poppin pills can harm your body so badly and could cause you to die. personally I just came out and it cured my depression, so i dunno, just dont do DRUGS!!! and that includes weed, never have touched the stuff, and I am so against using it. You have 2 options, be strong and successful(ie: no drugs, be true to yourself) or be weak (give in to the drugs, hurt your body and mind, and while you might be making others happy by not being yourself, you are hurting yourself)

Alright, theres my lecture hope it helps:)
 
PLEASE don't fall into the weed and drinking life again .... IT will do you no good and only serves to mask the situation .....
TRY to get a life .. at least one or two friends would help .. even if you go your own ways after graduation...
You don't say what country you want to move from or to ... BUT: life is what you make it wherever you are .... it just takes a hell of a lot of work for some of us ....
YES; I could have written that same post when I was your age ... I wish you good luck .. God Bless You !!
 
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