Need Advice...

[synch]

I think there is a good chance too going by your story. Just go with the flow of things. Hell, you two are all ready fondling eachother.

 

[Eagle653]

Hi lostinboston, I've moved your post to the Coming Out and Relationships forum (the bisexual forum is a naughty-bits section designed for pics, etc.).

There are two issues going on here. One is whether or not your friend is bi/gay. The second is that you have a crush on him. It's really important right now--for the sake of the friendship--to keep the two issues separate.

You could come out to him, but if you do, keep it about YOU, not about your feelings for him. If he's not gay/bi, or if he isn't comfortable enough with the idea to confide in you too, then he could be freaked about the fact that you have this crush on him. So, keep that out of it.

If you came out to him, and he did likewise, then the information is out in the open. At that point you could explore whether you both feel about each other the way you feel about him.

This is tricky, especially when you don't know what he's thinking (and he may not either). The other option is to go along as you have been, playfully stroking and touching and see if anything ever comes of it.

Good luck. Let us know what happens. And, welcome too!

 

[MindBlast]

From what I could make out of it, I would say tell him you're gay.

 

[bimmrboy]

Damn, I wish I had friends like that when I was your age.

 

[swerve]

Here is what I would do...

And it doesn't disagree with the advice above...

I would go out DRINKING (maybe heavily) with him and then go back to mine or his place (whichever is PRIVATE with NO ONE else around)...

Then I'd say something like...

You know what -- I'm not really sure whether I'm Gay or Straight -- just kind of confused...

I would much rather EXPERIMENT with you than a stranger...

If you're up to it...

Then see where it goes...

Good Luck...

 

[skaterboi]

I'm going with the guy above but with a twist.

Go out drinking together and get pretty sloshed, go back to one of your houses stick on a film and have a couple more drinks. Start wrestling and grab him down below see how he reacts, if it doesnt seem to be a problem pin him down and move really close to his face so you can feel eachothers breath, stare at him in the eyes and go for a kiss.

Upside is if it ammounts to nothing you can brush it off the next day with "god how drunk was I last night" and the likes.
Or if things go well (like they sound they will) you may be in for a really good night

 

[looseliam]

It's been said: come out to him. See what happens after that.

 

[wentworth]

OK, so I've been reading stuff on this forum for a few weeks now. I guess I am not alone in this situation. I have a huuuge crush on my bestfriend. I am 18 and he is also 18. I've read on here that there's a lot of guys that fall for their besfriends and that it isn't good for your friendship to proceed and to take it to a higher level (having sex etc.). But for some reason I feel different about my story. Hopefully you guys can give me opinions on this... Well we have been bestfriends for about 4 years now, we joke a lot together we go out a lot to the movies, malls, to get food, you name it. I think he thinks that I am straight and I also think he is straight (at times). But here's the deal, we wrestle a lot and stuff a lot of touching. When we are driving he will grab and sort of play with my stomach and I would do the same back to him. Also, he grabs my nipples a loooot, he likes to rub his fingers thru my hair, I pinch his cheeks a lot, and much more "touchy things" that I can't think off of the top of my head and I never hear any complaints as to get off me dude or don't touch me, nothing, never. Once at his house we were watching TV and we were watching cheaters or a similar show to that and there was a cute guy on there that was cheating on his wife and said something to her when he got caught and my bestfriend replied "because you are a cute motherfucker" and then looked at me with an expression on his face "OMG did I say that out loud." I ignored it because I thought it would make him uncomfortable to ask him about it and stuff. But I mean overall there's is a lot of things here and there and in between that kind of makes me think he is bi or even gay... I don't know what to do. I would love to suck him off, but I've read on here about people's experiences about it and they say after that their friendship goes down fall. I don't want to risk our friendship over sex because he is the most amazing person in the world and I love him to death. But I am just not so sure about asking about his sexuality, as to whether he is bi or gay. Although I have my opinions. He doesn't know I am gay but sometimes I wonder if he is thinking what I am thinking about him (being gay or bi because of the things we do to each other). I just don't want to ruin our friendship, should I just keep shut and keep this thing as bestfriends and nothing more? I think theres a good chance he might be bi or gay. What do you guys think...

Everybody thinks that their friendship is "different" and that they "really had a clue" back when "he stared at me for a minute accidentally".

Even heterosexual relationships are never the same again after they turn sexual.
Neither of you are out or experienced. Don't go there.

Your privates may want to explode, but do not go there.

 

[ludolfo]

hmmmmm try this.....its a seductive way to check.....try and play being laid back and not interested. ie., say he was running his fingers through yer hair, or feelin yu. well dont respond in kind. just kind of get into a receptive postition and play it cool. ....be kind of available and hard to get at the same time ....this may draw him into your spell.....

 

[Nagash]

I'd have to agree with the guys above. The two of you sound cool. His activities don't resemble those of a homophobe at all, so I doubt you have to worry about him reacting negatively. Yeah there may be less touching in the relationship if it turns out he's not gay/bi, but you're friendship will grow a lot closer.

You asked for advice from people who had been through similar situations. Well here's mine. I came out to a guy who I had become good friends with. He took it great. I later told him I had actually fallen for him. He didn't care. A few months after I came out to him we had sex. Mutual handjobs, oral, and a little anal. Things were really tense with us for almost a year, but I refused to just let the friendship die. He came around, we're still great friends, and have sex all the time. Nothing has changed with our friendship at all.

This situation has happened a number of times with several friends. None of the relationships have gone sour. Having sex isn't always the death of a friendship. You just need to talk EXTENSIVELY before you do anything. Don't let it be a moment of lust where he's petting you're stomach one second, and then you're tearing each others clothes off the next.

Come out to him first though. Thats the first step. Even if nothing comes of it. You would be amazed at how it binds your friends to you. If he takes it badly (which I doubt he will), then you don't want him in your life anyway.

 

[Blueboy369]

The next time you hang out say "Dude, I need a boyfriend, will you.....will you.....Help me find one?" See what he says, if he freaks out you can always start laughing and make a joke out of it. Maybe he'll be jealous, you never know. maybe you can ask him if he'd be jealous if you had a boyfriend. Keep it playfull. Maybe when your touching his stomach your hand can slowly reach down. test his bounderies, let's see how far he will go.

Blueboy.

 

[luminum]

I think you should quell your sexual/romantic urges and focus on letting him know thst if he's bi or gay that it's okay for him to come out to you and that you'll be supportive and accepting, which may be the larger issue that he's dealing with. So try fostering an environment of acceptance and comfort and then try nudging the topic a bit so he knows that if he was bi or gay, you'd support him no matter what.

If he isn't bi or gay and makes that clear, then if he still shows the same acceptance that you have created, then it may be a good time for you to come out to him.

And if he is bi or gay, then it'd be a good opportunity for you to come out too and then the two of you can discuss where you want to take your friendship.

 

[mydrew1]

Pursue him, in a kind way. Like put a hand on one of his shoulders, tell him you are gay, or bi, whichever, and you want at least a sort of hugging friendship if not more. Then see what happens.