need advice

[rayheartsmiles]

Don't worry, unlike all my other threads, this time I'm not asking about my cheating ex.
I met a guy through a friend. Will call the guy Aaron and the friend Lee. The two of them have been best friends for a pretty long time.
I actually met Aaron through Lee last semester, and found him very attractive, but since I was in a relationship I didn't give it a second thought.
I have become good friends with both of them and I actually started to develop an attraction for Aaron once I finally let go of my ex.
Well, recently Lee confessed to me that he was completely and totally in love with Aaron (i could tell he had feelings for him, but I didn't know he felt that strongly). And Aaron's boyfriend had recently broken up with him. Lee confided in me alone how he felt. I encouraged him to "go for it" because I knew if anyone would take care of Aaron he would.
Well finally this weekend Lee told me he was ready to ask Aaron to be his boyfriend. I of course, once again, encouraged him.
We were having dinner with some other friends later that night and I was texting Aaron across the table talking about our ex's, which we really didn't want anyone else to hear about. He told me he hated to see his friends upset and then started sending me odd messages, the first one being "I...uh...I'd like to make you feel better." I thought perhaps I was misinterpreting it, so I shrugged it off and continued the conversation. Eventually after a few more of these I asked if I was missing something, and he asked if I was any good at picking up hints. Then he told me he had feelings for me.
Then Lee asked him the question.
I of course, felt like an ass.
Well it got worse the next weekend day, as Aaron and I went to dinner together with some other friends and word got back to Lee somehow that we were on a date (which we weren't). In a fit of anger and hurt Lee said things to Aaron through texts messages...things about myself that I had told him in total confidence...and I was completely crushed. I fight between the two ensued that was just...horrible. Aaron was in tears by the end of the night.
They started talking again, but there's still tension between them. And they've both stopped talking to me altogether.
I feel like this is all somehow my fault, and now I've lost two...well actually about five friends through all of this, since the ones who told Lee I was on a date with Aaron did it intentionally to cause trouble. Go figure. I don't know what to do. I think they can make things better between themselves, but what about me? I can see that if the others would do what they did they weren't really my friends but I don't want to lose either of these two.

 

[G-Lexington]

First off, any "friend" who would cause drama by claiming their friends went on a date when they didn't? Not friends in the slightest. Let them go.

Second, go see both of them separately. Explain what happened. Tell Lee that although you thought Aaron was cute, you were 100% behind he and Aaron hooking up. And it wasn't until later that Aaron admitted to having feelings for you. And that you did NOTHING to encourage him once you found out. Yes, you did something with a group of friends sans Lee, but that it was NOT a date in any way shape or form.

Then tell Aaron that Lee had confessed his interest in him to you, and that you had encouraged it. And because of that, Lee was crushed when he found out that Aaron had feelings for you, and said some things he perhaps should not have.

Do this in person, and with as little drama as you can bring to the table. This thing's already rife with it.

After that, the ball's in their court. They may decide to hook up and shut you out completely. In which case, again, time to look for some better friends. But hopefully, they're cooler than that.

Lex

 

[rayheartsmiles]

They already know all that...
And as for my "friends", I've already expressed how I feel about what they did and they are no longer considered my friends. Hence the reason "friends" keeps showing up in quotations.
Miles totally devastated me, to be honest, and I thought I wouldn't have a real friend/love interest again. But then I have these two great guys who want to be my friends, and one of whom I may have had a chance at a realtionship with. And now it's all been blown to kingdom come.
To be perfectly honest though, I'm STILL 100% behind them hooking up. If Aaron were to choose me great, but if he were to choose Lee that'd be great too, because like I said I know Lee would take care of him. That's really not my big concern. I just don't want to lose either of them as friends, and since I've already expressed to them what you thought I should, I'm at a loss for what to do. And I really do feel like this is my fault.

 

[KaraBulut]

Time for some early spring cleaning. If these people around you who insist on all this drama aren't able to stop, please get them out of your life.

There are people out there who aren't drama queens. Find them. Soon.

 

[rareboy]

It really is tough when you find out that you all can't behave like you're 15 anymore. Some gay guys seem to thrive on the kind of high school drama that becomes tired after awhile.

All you can do with these guys is to let things be. If they both know that you would like to keep them as friends, there's always the chance they'll come back to you.

By the way, it really is rude to sit at a dinner table and text one another. It also is indicative of the problems with interpersonal relationships that your group may be having. When you sit down with others at a dinner table, you give them and the dinner your complete attention instead of sending 'secret' messages to one another.

 

[KaraBulut]

By the way, it really is rude to sit at a dinner table and text one another

Amen. It's rude to be at a dinner table texting ANYONE.

 

[rayheartsmiles]

I know it's rude. I won't try to make an excuse for that. But I will say it started with one from him being a concerned friend, and asking why I looked so sad.

So...update. When all went to a show together with some friends. We'd already planned on going before all this and I guess it's a good sign they didn't try to cancel. But while we were there, they barely said two words to me.
I was heading home the next morning and my truck broke down on the interstate not half an hour from our college. I tried to reach every friend I could think of, but it seemed everyone had chosen this weekend to go home. So I called the only one left I knew could drive- Lee. I explained what happened, that I was going home and now my truck was sitting on the side of the road with smoke pouring out and my keys, license, debit card, etc. were all locked inside because I had stupidly locked the door when I got out to check the engine, and I was standing in the snow.
Lee rushed to the scene and did everything he could think of to try and help me. Everything that happened was forgotten and he was a friend helping a friend. After about two or three hours we had my keys and I was safe and warm inside my dorm room waiting on my father to come tow my truck all three hours back home.
Lee and I talked online for hours last night, just having a normal conversation. He informed me that things are alright with he and Aaron now.
But Aaron still doesn't want to talk to me. Well...I guess either he'll do what Lee did and forget what happened, or I'll have to accept what can't be and move on. But I'm glad I've gotten at least one of the two friends back in all this, so most things turned out alright.