Need advice

[swerve]

Gosh -- you REALLY ARE shy -- aren't you???

Find out what his work schedule is -- and show up right before he gets off -- then ask him if he wants to get a bite to eat...

SIMPLE!!!

Why did you ask him if you said something wrong???

Just curious -- since I doubt you did...

 

[swerve]

I think I'm going to have to leave this one up to the other JUBBERS (who are WAY smarter than me anyways )...

I HOPE this isn't a case of TWO very shy guys that write one line EMails and then overanalyze them...

That would be BAD...

 

[Light339]

Hmm, you don't know if he is gay or straight. His english is very bad. He works at a gas station where it's his job to be nice to customers ie. friendly and courteous. He must have given off a strong "gay" vibe to you, otherwise you would not have bothered to give him your email addy.

He probably thought it was rather odd that you gave him your email address. It dosen't sound like he is interested in being your friend and dosen't know what to make of the situation. The "Did I do something wrong?" in your reply was a mistake on your part.

You should have asked if he wanted to hang out or something along those lines. He will most likely not reply to your email and that will be the end of it. I might be wrong...

And yes I know exactly what you mean. Oh, and you are not that shy!

 

[Light339]

Yes. Yes. Maybe he didn't want to be rude?

 

[swerve]

Light -- I suspect that you're wrong...

Elvin is an EXTREMELY HANDSOME man that is a LOT OF FUN to hang out with -- BUT, he doesn't give off a strong gay vibe...

I suspect the young man from Nepal is just as confused as Elvin...

 

[Light339]

Light -- I suspect that you're wrong...

Elvin is an EXTREMELY HANDSOME man that is a LOT OF FUN to hang out with -- BUT, he doesn't give off a strong gay vibe...

I suspect the young man from Nepal is just as confused as Elvin...

It's the other way around. The guy from Nepal must have given off a strong gay vibe, not Elvin.

 

[Seasoned]

Don't over analyse this. You are making a friend, and there are language and cultural barriers. It's great having international friends because it enriches your life as well as his. Plan on meeting him at work as was suggested. Don't expect a lot from email. I'm sure he has a difficult time studying in English and doesn't have a lot of time to try to compose email.

I think you've already made a friend. It will be a plus if he is gay.

 

[Seasoned]

Hope it all works to mutual advantage. I have tons if international friends and not all are gay. The Fay guys from repressed cultures need all the understanding friends they can get.

 

[BINOWGAYLATER]

First of all -- NEVER - ever -- mix up the Milk and the gas !! whew - now that that's taken care of .......moving along......

I read bits and pieces of some sense above - and some nonsense also..

He is foreign - he speaks English - but not the best -- so anything he writes (especially) may sound wrong to you. but it's the only way he knows how to write it. so don't dwell on that.

who (Other than a blind man) - would NOT be staring at you --? and if he's shy and "somewhat wondering about you - he's gonna stare - you should be used to it by now studmuffin !!

I know an Indian chap at my gas station - except that he is always talking about tutering the hot chicks in trade for a fuck. but he is always happy to see me and always talks and talks !!
So-- go there, some time when you don't have to - for a coffee -- ask him about school - stuff that he is comfortable with and knows how to talk about -- and proress from that to do you have other guys from your country to hang with ? -- i discussed Muslims with my Indian "friend" - as he is Hindi of course. and he seemed pleased that i was interested in his religion - vs others.. --
so there is always common ground to be found .. after 2-3 stops and some idle chatter - you will most likely know if its' going anywhere.
You might say - as you're dashing out the door - "I read this interesting article about........ I'll e-mail it to you - and keep that door open - but don't overuse it - cuz it does seem more difficult for him (I'm speculating of course)
So some icebreakers would be:
Where are you going to school (even if you know - you can say "I forgot")
watcya studying - ? how do you like it?
2. Would you stay here after you graduate or go back to Nepal?
3. have you traveled in China or India?
4. Are you Hindu or Buddhast?
is it difficult to practice your religion here?
5. eventually - down the road -- how does your country feel about gays? Do you think it would be easier for gays here?



and ......if he's not calling you a creepy old man by then ....

6. Wanna have coffee sometime - after your shift?


thank you and have a good weekend -

Sincerely
Barbara waa waaa !!

 

[treanir]

His English is pretty bad

There's your solution.

His English is basic. He only knows a few (set) expressions and probably cannot convey his feelings and thought properly. His English will come over as awkward and devoid of emotion and can therefore seem a little cold. Don't be discouraged by this. It doesn't mean he doesn't like you, just that you have to lead the conversation. Ask him out for a coffee, because he won't do it (cultural differences also play a part in this). Be aware of the language barrier and try to decode his non-verbal cues rather than his verbal ones.

 

[justsimon]

I'm really shy, too. Most of my friendships have started with short conversations here and there. Eventually, if there's a connection the conversations get more in depth and we start hanging out.

I think the situation here is similar. Elvin, I recommend continuing to talk to him when you see him and seeing where it goes from there.

 

[rareboy]

I think he's someone who needs the face to face contact.

And he obviously has a crush.

 

[trawler69]

Nice one. As you say friendship is about how you relate to one another, not your sexuality, you are lucky to have found a good guy for a friend who feels the same. I have good straight friends and know gay people who I want nothing to do with, as well as having good Gay friends I wouldn't look for a relationship with.

Mind you it would be nice to have a Gay friend where we would both be into having a relationship.

I wish you a happy long friendship

 

[goethe]

I think you’re being severely self-critical, and from what you’ve posted I don’t see how you’ve acted in an unjust way or shown a lack of respect.

When guys/ girls ask each other if they want to go and hang out they do it with the assumption that they are straight and that they’re in with a chance of there being a mutual interest in each other, either a friendship or something more. A difficulty with being gay is that if we meet a guy we like we have to do some ‘questioning’ or probing to find out whether there is a possibility of something happening or not – if we get (or think we are getting) the right signs and an interest is shown, then we pursue it a bit further. There’s nothing wrong with that, if you don’t put your hand in the pool you won’t know if the water’s warm.

You were honest with him and shared your sexuality, he felt comfortable doing the same. You now know another significant piece of information about your new friend – he’s heterosexual. This isn’t labelling, it’s a fact and will help you to have a better understanding and friendship with each other going forward.

Just as the more you get to know about who he is, including his culture and personal values you might better understand even more about him, his personality and how he behaves, for example why he chose to pay at the restaurant.

It sounds like you’ve found a potentially great friend from this experience – good on you for having the balls to test the water. If you hadn’t you’d still be wondering ‘what, if and maybe’ right now

 

[goethe]

Absolutely, but I think most of us have followed up an interest in guys who we hoped might be gay but turned out not to be so, therefore by that measure were all assholes

That doesn't mean to say what we did was wrong, if anything it was better to find out the facts of the situation and not continue to make assumptions and/or pursue someone who isn't interested/available and make them feel uncomfortable.

As long as you respect him for who he is, what does it matter what your intentions were when you first asked him if he wanted to hang out? If you hadn't been attracted to him in the first place you might not have realised the opportunity to get to know such a cool guy.

Besides he might be up for going to some gay clubs with you at some point; from what you've posted so far he seems like a liberal minded, level-headed guy without prejudice, who knows. Then again I'm making an another assumption there.

Best of luck for your friendship