need an advice :(

[greathollow]

i met these wonderful gay couple almost 4 months ago , & from that day on i got so attached to them , i'm 23 years old & they are 65 &53. i am desperatly in love with both them!!!
at the begining one of them started saying thats he loves me & etc... i had no problem with it because i made sure that this isnt gonna cause any problems to both of them i started saying i love you 2 to the 1st guy. anyway yesterday i confronted the other guy saying that am in love with him & that i have never said that to him & he said it back to me 2.
anyway my question is , does such thing exist? is it normal ?
my heart is always burning thinking about them all the time!!! i'm truley in love with them. they far away from me & when thier not here am just sad.
what to do? i need help =(

 

[bigwhiskers65]

you're obviously a bit immature no offense. You kind of need to grow some and not get so taken . I'm sure you have feelings for them but your only 23 and they are well into their relationship , while they may love you , it's more a flash in the pan. Go out and meet people and enjoy yourself .like you said they live far from you so there is no point in beating yourself over the head .

 

[IowaGuy]

Is it possible that they mean they love you as a friend?

 

[CallMeHTD]

Such a relationship, when it's mutual, is called a triad. If things keep progressing and they keep returning not just physical but emotional affection, then certainly talk to them about the possibility of becoming a relationship of three. But do know that such relationships are complicated and difficult to maintain, and that at their age they may not go for it, despite how much they say they like you.

I do agree with bigwhiskers65, that getting out there and meeting other people is a good thing, too. Give yourself some time, and some perspective.

 

[4older]

I do agree with bigwhiskers65, that getting out there and meeting other people is a good thing, too. Give yourself some time, and some perspective.

I agree with big and call that it's probably best to explore your options. I've known of two triads that worked for a bit but usually it dissolves down to one couple with one person being left out in the cold at some point. I'd be curious if anyone here has had any personal experience with a triad and hear how it went. I just think it would eventually be impossible to evenly distribute affection, emotion and time between 3 people without one of them having a problem with it at some point.

 

[greathollow]

thanks for the advice guys...
trust me i tried getting them out of my head its just impossible... & when i finally can its just for a while..
i have met many men since i knew them... but i dont seem to like any as much as them...
some1 times i just wish i never met them... my heart is being torn apart slowly =(

 

[greathollow]

Is it possible that they mean they love you as a friend?

that might be true for one of them...
but the other guy.. the one who said he loves me 1st.
he said to me many times , that if it wasnt for the age & the fact that he is already coupled , he'd gladly take me as a couple...
honesly that speech freaked me i love both of them , & when he said that to me it made me think what if they ever break up because of me... i wanted to end this.
but i kept on because he insisted.

 

[altlover85]

when he said that to me it made me think what if they ever break up because of me... i wanted to end this.
but i kept on because he insisted.

If he breaks up with his boyfriend, it's his decision and it's on him. Generally, you can't make someone do something he doesn't want to do.

Don't beat yourself up over this.

 

[Echoes]

First I'd like to answer your question. It is pretty common and normal for young guys to "fall in love" with older guy(s). I don't mean to say that what you feel is fake love but most of times it only has to do with admiration. Growing a relationship with someone older (more than 10 years) is already tough enough to try it out with somebody who's already partnered.

Mate, find somebody else to be with and enjoy yourself. They're already a couple and if something happens the only one who will end up really hurt is you. I think you should experience a bit more and have fun. As you said they're far from you, that's something that would make it even harder, if you don't want to stop seeing them, try to think of them as friends, there's a lot you can learn from them, but really it's up to you.

good luck!

 

[greathollow]

i met them today , & told them exactly how i feel.
they dont mind us being friends & even more.. & i mean sexual matter.
one of them told me i should just do whats best for me.. & thanks for the advice guys. i've decided to stay friends with them , they made me understand what i've already known.. they just made it clear.
& they dont live that far from me... espcially that they have 2 apratments. & one is closer to me than the other.
anyway thanks again & goodnight

edit: i forgot to mention that i am looking for a single guy not my age cuz i'm not attraced to young guys.
& we're still gonna be friends

 

[Kuepanda]

i met them today , & told them exactly how i feel.
they dont mind us being friends & even more.. & i mean sexual matter.
one of them told me i should just do whats best for me.. & thanks for the advice guys. i've decided to stay friends with them , they made me understand what i've already known.. they just made it clear.
& they dont live that far from me... espcially that they have 2 apratments. & one is closer to me than the other.
anyway thanks again & goodnight

edit: i forgot to mention that i am looking for a single guy not my age cuz i'm not attraced to young guys.
& we're still gonna be friends

they don't? that's good but if I were you I'd stick with a partner my own, I don't share LOL.
good luck.

 

[greathollow]

they don't? that's good but if I were you I'd stick with a partner my own, I don't share LOL.
good luck.

nope they dont... the reason we even met was for sex... & eventhing then just got complicated.. & now its settle =)..
lucky me...

 

[altlover85]

nope they dont... the reason we even met was for sex... & eventhing then just got complicated.. & now its settle =)..
lucky me...

If you're looking for your own guy, make sure that's the focus and don't focus on them as much.

 

[thisisinteresting]

If you're seriously in love with either of them, sex is an awful idea. You're not gonna be able to have sex with them and control your feelings at the same time IMO. Be careful.

 

[tractor]

It can be difficult for young males to separate the different kinds of love that exist, especially platonic love and romantic love. "Friends with benefits" might work out, but you might not realize how much emotion you have vested into a relationship until something happens (friend sleeps with someone else, decides to call it quits, realizes he's straight then gets married , etc.).

When I was your age, I had my first "relationship" with an older guy. It amounted to making out in his car once a week. I didn't think it was love on any level, but it was passionate and fun. One time he said that he cared for me, in a sincere tone. I returned the feeling, but didn't really think anything of it. Sex in a car wasn't the act of a couple uniting as one mind, one soul. I was streetwise and sugar-daddy wise enough to know when I was being sweet talked.

We continued our interludes. It became more infrequent due to life's little annoyances. One day after not seeing him for awhile, I called him up and he tells me that he is hoping to get back together with his longtime partner who he had always kept in contact with (who is his age, and they had been a copule for a very long time), and that he cannot continue our sessions, and to take care with much love, goodbye!

I was utterly devastated! How could he do this to me! Was it something I did? I had no idea that I would feel this way after the break-up. In my mind I knew the relationship couldn't go on forever, but my heart couldn't accept this. I moped around the house. I couldn't concentrate in class. It felt like someone kicked me in the head. It wasn't like I loved him, or did I? I couldn't even tell what I was feeling at the time. My days were filled with deep sighs and long faces.

The entire relationship lasted about 4 months. I was a wreck for about a week. After two weeks it was like the relationship was a distant memory.

Not long after that, I noticed an overly-friendly neighbor down the street who use to always garden in his overalls with no shirt on. With his big, beefy, barrelled, white-haired chest and strong arms and nice paunch. His steely eyes which always had a slight leer to them, and that permanent smile, and when I knelt down to tie my shoes, that nice bulge in his pants which would seem to grow bigger as I came closer to .................................. ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh goddddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!

 

[greathollow]

It can be difficult for young males to separate the different kinds of love that exist, especially platonic love and romantic love. "Friends with benefits" might work out, but you might not realize how much emotion you have vested into a relationship until something happens (friend sleeps with someone else, decides to call it quits, realizes he's straight then gets married , etc.).

When I was your age, I had my first "relationship" with an older guy. It amounted to making out in his car once a week. I didn't think it was love on any level, but it was passionate and fun. One time he said that he cared for me, in a sincere tone. I returned the feeling, but didn't really think anything of it. Sex in a car wasn't the act of a couple uniting as one mind, one soul. I was streetwise and sugar-daddy wise enough to know when I was being sweet talked.

We continued our interludes. It became more infrequent due to life's little annoyances. One day after not seeing him for awhile, I called him up and he tells me that he is hoping to get back together with his longtime partner who he had always kept in contact with (who is his age, and they had been a copule for a very long time), and that he cannot continue our sessions, and to take care with much love, goodbye!

I was utterly devastated! How could he do this to me! Was it something I did? I had no idea that I would feel this way after the break-up. In my mind I knew the relationship couldn't go on forever, but my heart couldn't accept this. I moped around the house. I couldn't concentrate in class. It felt like someone kicked me in the head. It wasn't like I loved him, or did I? I couldn't even tell what I was feeling at the time. My days were filled with deep sighs and long faces.

The entire relationship lasted about 4 months. I was a wreck for about a week. After two weeks it was like the relationship was a distant memory.

Not long after that, I noticed an overly-friendly neighbor down the street who use to always garden in his overalls with no shirt on. With his big, beefy, barrelled, white-haired chest and strong arms and nice paunch. His steely eyes which always had a slight leer to them, and that permanent smile, and when I knelt down to tie my shoes, that nice bulge in his pants which would seem to grow bigger as I came closer to .................................. ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh goddddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!

i feel sad for you buddy =(.. but in my case its not a single guy its a couple so i'm aware that are relationship cant go any further...
i did like the end of your post , hope you 2 still seeing each other & best of luck & thanks for the post