Need help coming out of the closet

[ks110x]

If a childhood spent in religious schools has taught me anything its that not all people who practice a certain religion hold every single position as their own.

Do you have any idea of what your parent's thoughts on gay people are?
Also, how old are you?

 

[PSCGuy]

I agree with ks. I've been in Catholic school my whole life, and I've never met anyone who agrees with everything Rome says. My grandmother is one of the most devout people I know--daily church--and one of the most 'progressive' and loving people I've ever met.

Most American Catholics, in my experience, don't follow the social teachings. More follow the social justice teachings. But the vast majority fall somewhere in between.

Of course, I don't know you're parents. But do you know their opinions for sure, or are you just guessing/assuming?

 

[natedogg323]

I was raised in a strict born again Christian home. You know "your going to hell, you heithen!!"

It was really hard for me coming out to my parents. I didn't come out til I was 23. I came out to my mom and my sister outed me to my dad. I can't say that it did any good, but I felt better about it. They don't accept it but they still love me. They just follow up everything with "We'll pray for you!"

Your situation is a little different because the Catholic belief is vastly different from non denominational Christian.

The best thing you can do for yourself is don't prejudge your parents. The love they have for you is stronger than you realize and most parents won't stop loving their kid just because of their sexual orientation.

Your going to feel much better after its finally out in the open. But be prepared for it to be weird and uncomfortable for a little while. Even if they completely freak out they will get over it and things will get better. Or they might be completely cool about the whole thing and all this worry was for nothing. Good luck and keep us posted.

 

[tallguy297]

Hey Marcus

First of all - Welcome to JUB!!! I'm glad you found it... but more so the strength and courage to ask your question. JUBs full of guys with experience and advice... and most of us have been through similar situations... so remember... you're not alone... nor are you the first to travel this path.

Marcus, no one can be sure of how others will react. But you need to remember who you are. You are a son... a member of a family... part of a community. You are unique... your dreams, your morals and your values. You posses your own sense of humor, your own faith and your own judgments.

You right now... today... are the person that your family sees... that your friends see. And right now... today... you are gay. You are who you are...special, unique... and worthy.

You've made a choice...a good one too... to be honest about who you are with the people you love. To strip away the weight of carrying around a secret... it shows a strength of character to be proud of...a desire to be true and open. Its more that most can say Marcus... its something to be proud of.

Mate... be patient with your parents... dont focus too much on the catholic thing....as much as the church has a dim view of us, it also preaches tolerance and acceptance.

Just find a quiet place where you can talk honestly and openly. Where you can talk freely and that both your and your parents emotions can spill out...no matter what they are. Be genuine...just tell them how you feel...your fears...your need to be honest... your need to be yourself... to be all you can be. Dont rush it...dont force it down their throats. Just be sincere. Its one of the ironies but sometimes you'll need to support them too through this...

Chances are they'll shocked. Maybe even a little hurt. They have a range of emotions... questions. They'll most likely blame and question. But that will all pass. Just answer as best you can... talk openly and honestly about your life... your burden...and how you feel. Help them to understand, that its not a choice, that its nothing they have done. Let them see you... let them see that nothings changed. Let them understand that after all this that you are the son they always loved.

And worry about the thoughts of others and the church later. Chances are your parents love and desire for you to be happy will more than balance out any other influence. Just give them time... time to think and react... you've had a lifetime to work through this... they haven't. Be patient.

They see you Marcus... they know who you are. In time they'll be as proud of your courage as you should be. Be the honest open loving considerate guy you are (or else you wouldnt have asked the question in the first place) and things will be ok.

And remember... we are always here if you need us.

 

[Lube]

Just say it.

You'll soon realize that most people--even if they don't want to admit it--already know you're gay.

Sure, they'll act all shocked and everything (or maybe not), but deep down in side they've been wondering just as long as you have.

 

[rareboy]

By the way, the Catholic Church recognizes homosexuality as a God given state. It just requires that you do not practice.

But as we all know, practice makes perfect and God hates a quitter.

Catholics are more likely to handle the news better than fundamentalist Baptists.

 

[lmarr101]

My mother is protestant and my father is Catholic.But my mom is more conservative than my father.My father accept the truth that ı'm gay but mother dıdn't.