So I desperately need some advice on how to get over a serious crush on a coworker. I don't know if he's gay or not (but even if he were, I wouldn't date a coworker). Everything about him makes my heart stop, and that's really getting annoying. Seeing him, hearing his voice down the hall, seeing his car in the parking lot... everything. I've tried to notice and think about the worst things about him, but there just aren't that many things to think about. I thought that after a while, I'll get over the crush, and that it'd get better, but it's not. Any advice?
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Need help getting over a crush on coworker
- Thread starter redips
- Start date
I work with him in the same group, unfortunately, so it's tough to avoid him even I try. I can hear him talking down the hall, I have to attend the same meetings as he does, ... I wish he'd be more annoying so I'd hate him more.
I mean, he's annoying in his own little ways (everybody is), but there's nothing that I can grab onto, and say, ha, that's it, you're such a bad person, I won't think about you any more...
I mean, he's annoying in his own little ways (everybody is), but there's nothing that I can grab onto, and say, ha, that's it, you're such a bad person, I won't think about you any more...
fetaby
dances atop the bellcurve
What's wrong with having the crush? Sure you don't know if it will go anywhere, but if you feel good while your around this guy just ride it out.
I wouldn't think there is a problem unless these feelings are interrupting and preventing you from getting your job done. If that's the case, the thought of unemployment should be sobering enough.
I wouldn't think there is a problem unless these feelings are interrupting and preventing you from getting your job done. If that's the case, the thought of unemployment should be sobering enough.
I can relate redips.. I have this huge crush on one of my best friends and we go to the same college so we see each other everyday...
I tried denying it, focusing on someone / something else, think about his personality flaws.. Nothing worked...
I came to the conclusion that the best way to get over that strong a crush is to not be around that person all day, everyday...
But in both our cases, that's not an option... Sometimes it's kinda hard to just sit there with them... But we just have to wait til it goes off....
And hey, liking someone isn't such a bad thing at the end of the day...
good luck...
I tried denying it, focusing on someone / something else, think about his personality flaws.. Nothing worked...
I came to the conclusion that the best way to get over that strong a crush is to not be around that person all day, everyday...
But in both our cases, that's not an option... Sometimes it's kinda hard to just sit there with them... But we just have to wait til it goes off....
And hey, liking someone isn't such a bad thing at the end of the day...
good luck...
Echoes
Porn Star
alright so there are two routes you may take.
1st: you can actually try to get to know him better and share some drinks, usually we get crushes on people because we only see a part of them and getting to know better how they really are and their interests could either make it disappear or make you fall in love (you decide).
2nd: you can try to avoid him if possible (I mean if you don't work with him directly). And try to focus on work (work really helps with these things but it's not that healthy). Plus you can try to meet new people and see if you can find somebody worth turning your head for.
as you may know there's always a 3rd option and that will be do nothing and wait for it to fade away. It's hard to believe but it really fades away.
keep us updated to see how it goes.
best of luck!
1st: you can actually try to get to know him better and share some drinks, usually we get crushes on people because we only see a part of them and getting to know better how they really are and their interests could either make it disappear or make you fall in love (you decide).
2nd: you can try to avoid him if possible (I mean if you don't work with him directly). And try to focus on work (work really helps with these things but it's not that healthy). Plus you can try to meet new people and see if you can find somebody worth turning your head for.
as you may know there's always a 3rd option and that will be do nothing and wait for it to fade away. It's hard to believe but it really fades away.
keep us updated to see how it goes.
best of luck!
hijodelaestrella
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I don't have a crush on a co-worker. But I do have one on my fitness instructor... he's a total sweetheart and I get nervous around him.
N
nfgsd87
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sorry this is ot, But I know how you feel. I have a crush on my personal trainer also :/. hes so friendly,and has a nice body lol. He makes me happy, and sad since I can't have him.
hijodelaestrella
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Same here. He actually approched me once and said I was doing great in his class. He pat me on the back and shook me hand. I think I froze up temporarily...
Why not date a coworker? Love is love.
Why do you need to get over the person? Instead, try talking to him. If you don't find the love of your life, you might at least find a friend. Getting to know the person may also kill your crush when you know the more intimate details and personality traits.
Seems pretty easy to me.
Just_Believe18
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What makes your crush about him so intense? I don't get the impression that you are close with this guy and spend a lot of time together on a personal basis. What are you basing your infatuation on that you even get excited just seeing his car?
I can relate i had a guy at work i thought was awesome (we didn't work with each other so much as at the same place) and i had a crush on him. He just recently left his job where i work so i probably won't see him much anymore. I wasn't in love with him or anything i was just able to appreciate how good looking he was (very GQ) i guess. Well since he's left i've found he has a reputation of being kind of a jerk. Figures !
Hey guys. Sorry I've been offline for a bit. Thanks for all the replies. I can see that personal trainers are popular crushes (not surprising). Perhaps I should get one as a new crush (and to help me desperately improve my workouts!)...
Hm. I've been trying to figure this out too, but I'm really not sure. Of course, it has something to do with his looks (he's impossibly cute in my books), but probably more so with his voice (can't describe it...sounds just right). He's also smart and very talented (though I don't think that has much to do with it--I know he's just a crush and an infatuation, and not boyfriend material, even if he were gay)...
But I've learned that it is getting better, VERY VERY SLOWLY. If the crush started at 100%, it's probably now at 90%, a year later. So at this rate, I guess I'd be over it in 10 years
Hm, yeah, this crush is a bad one. The crush itself hasn't really faded that much, but at least I'm used to it now and I've learned how to deal with it better; like, well, going to work used to get me all horny
, so now I just please myself 
every morning and that gets me through the day 
Hm. I've been trying to figure this out too, but I'm really not sure. Of course, it has something to do with his looks (he's impossibly cute in my books), but probably more so with his voice (can't describe it...sounds just right). He's also smart and very talented (though I don't think that has much to do with it--I know he's just a crush and an infatuation, and not boyfriend material, even if he were gay)...
But I've learned that it is getting better, VERY VERY SLOWLY. If the crush started at 100%, it's probably now at 90%, a year later. So at this rate, I guess I'd be over it in 10 years
Hm, yeah, this crush is a bad one. The crush itself hasn't really faded that much, but at least I'm used to it now and I've learned how to deal with it better; like, well, going to work used to get me all horny
, so now I just please myself every morning and that gets me through the day 
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Hm, yeah, this crush is a bad one. The crush itself hasn't really faded that much, but at least I'm used to it now and I've learned how to deal with it better; like, well, going to work used to get me all horny
Please tell me you are not jacking thinking of him. I'm glad the crush is lessening. My personal theory is that the closet contributes to crushes. Anyone can get a crush anywhere but the crush combined with the secret and the excitement of getting caught causes a payoff and feeds the crush. If you had a trusted gay bud at work the two of you would handle any crushes together. Naming it to someone who knows the guy removes it from fantasy alone.