Need help keeping my cool

[Scottyboi]

So I met this awesome guy a couple weeks ago and a very long story short, he's perfect for me. Good looking, similar interests down to the t, personalities that kinda just click and best yet I know he's gay and that he is also interested (he asked me to lunch and then we hung out at his place once and fooled around a little bit).


So pretty much everything is perfect right? Well the thing is I'm kinda falling for this guy fast and hard. I know its just infatuation at this point and so I'm keeping myself in check but its been really difficult.

I have his email, I have his #, and I see him on face book sometimes. Whenever I see him on face book, I send him a little message asking whats up. I text him on occasion, wishing him luck on tests and stuff (we are both Nursing majors).

The problem comes from the fact that we are both *super* busy with nursing school. He's had to cancel on me twice to study for tests and I've had to cancel on him once (I would have had to cancel on him a second time, but that was one of the times he canceled on me).

Anyways I feel like I'm coming on to strong and that I'm gonna scare this guy off if I keep this up. I'm trying to back off and give him some breathing room but I'm sorta failing at it.

Its not like I'm trying to play hard to get (not even) its more like I don't want to be begging to hang out as I feel that would be a huge turn off, especially as in the past he admittedly likes to chase straight guys (not so much for the sex as he enjoys the chase a bit).


So I need help, how do I keep my cool? Any tricks for keeping the mind busy?

Cuz I've got it bad

 

[anchihiro]

Awww

Just keep yourself busy.

And by that i mean get off your mobile and facebook and anything else that still connects you to him. Go hang out with some other friends, go shopping, cinema, bowling, read a book, gym etc.
So next time you do see him you'll have something new to talk about. If you socialise with others etc he will think you're not obsessing over him, nor coming on too strong.

 

[Scottyboi]

That's kinda part of the problem, I've moved away from all my friends a month ago fro school =x

I don't know anyone or have any of my old friends to hang out with, except I'm able to chat with them over face book.

I also spend about 14 hours a day studying (class hours count towards that on days I have class) so I also don't have time to really hang out with/ make any new friends.

Which is part of the problem, cuz if I wasn't trying to get in his pants this guy would easily be my new best friend xD. Before I went off to school, I'd see my friends 6 nights a week...the transition has been rough >.>

 

[bullwing413]

Whatever you do, put your degree first. Once that's done you've got the rest of your life to fall in love and you'll always have your profession to keep you independent and employed.

 

[KaraBulut]

The question here- as you have mentioned- is whether this is "love" or just part of your loneliness of being away from your friend and an indirect result of the stress of school.

Spend more time with friends. Study with other people in the nursing program. Focus on success in school.

But instead of crushing from afar, ask the guy out for lunch or dinner one weekend. Enjoy being friends. Let it be known that you wish you both weren't so busy with school and that you'd like to be friends...maybe more.

Summer is just a few months away after all. Maybe you'll both have more time when school ends.

 

[saymyname]

Definitely back off or you'll freak him out, but maybe one plan is, after a few days of not talking, maybe make plans with him in advance. Like a good week in advance. That way neither of you will be likely to cancel. And it'll give you something to look forward to so you can stop bugging him.

 

[Scottyboi]

So me and him ended up having a little chat today.

long story short; he doesn't believe in monogamy/isn't looking for a relationship, he needs some space and prefers to run things on his own terms and tends to run from affection. But he still wants to see me, just that we should go slower. He thinks we kinda jumped into things to fast the other night.

Says he doesn't want to hurt me and he knows he's being unfair. Wants to start over again and take it slower this time. Wants to build up a friendship first.


I sent him a message saying that I'm far to busy with school atm to even think of something serious, which admittedly i was falling into but I really do think I shouldn't be getting into.

So we've basically settled into being just friends for now, with the possibility of fooling around later remaining on the table. Two of which things I'm *very* happy with as I would really like him as a friend and I also would like to get into his pants eventually.


So; friends before fuck buddies. Can it be done? is this a bad idea?
Admittedly I probably will fall for him in the future, though knowing myself that'll take at least a year. And by that point I can just tell him whats up and that I need to take a break/cut things with him for a little while so we can just be friends when I'm finally over him.

Mean time I'm really happy to have made a new friend and I'm comfortable with letting him be the one to put the moves on me

thoughts?

 

[KaraBulut]

So; friends before fuck buddies. Can it be done? is this a bad idea?

It can be done.

The question is whether it will be done with this particular guy.

See what happens in the future but in the meantime, keep looking for Mr Right.