Need help pursuading partner to have threesomes with women ;)

[stpeteflcouple]

I am a 32 year old male and have been in a relationship with another 29 year old man for the last eight years. About 5-6 times a year, we have a threesome with another male. I would like to note this has never caused a problem for us, neither have cheated on the other, we have both always been disease free probably because we are very careful and only practice safe sex.

A little background... Prior to meeting my current partner, I was married to a woman for three years. I am technically bisexual as I am still attracted to the opposite sex. My partner on the other hand is gay, although he has slept with about 25 women before he met me whereas I have only slept with three (including my ex).

The issue... I am kind of bored with always have three men in our threesomes - I would like to mix it up by having a woman as our third on occasion. I neither know how my partner would react to this nor do I know how to approach this given he expressed disinterest in having a threesome with a female in the past - although he has admitted he would sleep with Britney Spears given the chance! LOL.

Any advice on how to delicately approach this with my partner would be fantastic!

 

[racer2438]

My advise is to respect his wishes as he would yours.

If he does not want to any more, then he does not want any more, end of disscusion.

 

[traveler1111]

My advise is to respect his wishes as he would yours.

If he does not want to any more, then he does not want any more, end of disscusion.

however, if the boyfriend isn't willing to indulge the desire that stpete has for women, he should give st pete a free pass to fuck a woman once in a while or join in on a threeway

 

[TylerDurden222]

sounds like you have both fucked women, and had threesomes. not sure combining a woman and threesome is really a big deal to him?

to be honest i'm jealous, you guys have done some fucking!

 

[Halifaxboy8]

however, if the boyfriend isn't willing to indulge the desire that stpete has for women, he should give st pete a free pass to fuck a woman once in a while or join in on a threeway

Hmm, I don't know about that. There's a difference between having a threesome with your partner and then just letting him run free so he can get his rocks off. Once that door is opened, it won't close easily or at all.

To the OP: You're bi, your partner isn't. You can't wave a wand and make him like women, or coerce him into a mmf threesome. That's your thing, not his. Pressuring him or asking him again and again over time is just going to piss him off and create tension.

What if he wanted to have a threesome with a guy you absolutely didn't like and he kept asking you about it, trying to get you to change your mind. How would you react to his persistence?

 

[TylerDurden222]

Hmm, I don't know about that. There's a difference between having a threesome with your partner and then just letting him run free so he can get his rocks off. Once that door is opened, it won't close easily or at all.

To the OP: You're bi, your partner isn't. You can't wave a wand and make him like women, or coerce him into a mmf threesome. That's your thing, not his. Pressuring him or asking him again and again over time is just going to piss him off and create tension.

What if he wanted to have a threesome with a guy you absolutely didn't like and he kept asking you about it, trying to get you to change your mind. How would you react to his persistence?

how can a guy who's fucked 25 women be gay? I could see if he banged a few to appease his friends in college, but 25? not buying that.

either way, OP seems to have a great thing going, i wish them well

 

[traveler1111]

Hmm, I don't know about that. There's a difference between having a threesome with your partner and then just letting him run free so he can get his rocks off. Once that door is opened, it won't close easily or at all.

i didn't say that there wasn't a difference.

was the male three way st pete's idea or his partners' idea? if he is choosing to indulge his partner's fantasy, he should be able to enjoy his own fantasies. its only fair.

its not like fucking pussy is an itch that can be easily scratched with his partner alone.

 

[bankside]

Tell him one of the things you like about threesomes is being able to share the experience with him, and seeing him enjoying his sexuality from another point of view brings you together.

(assuming you feel that way).

Then let him know that you'd love to share your bisexuality with him, to give him a better understanding of that part of your emotions & attractions. Let him know that it would turn you on to put on a show for him, that it would mean more to you if he would at least watch, and that is the only way you'd do it. No pressure for him to join in, but that you'd like him to understand that experience from your point of view, so you think it would be cool if he would let you show him how it all works. He may have been with women before, but if he's gay, he's never had a chance to see someone really enjoying it the way a bi or a straight guy would.

You probably have talked about what your criteria are for allowing a threesome? Would that fit in?

All you can do is ask him to think about it, and let him know that it gets you very horny to think about sharing that part of your feelings with him.

 

[traveler1111]

how can a guy who's fucked 25 women be gay? I could see if he banged a few to appease his friends in college, but 25? not buying that.

you would be surprised.

he could have been sleeping with that many women to try to prove to himself that he wasn't gay.

 

[Achilles2010]

..................................

 

[red1979]

I guess it's possible, but I have a hard time swallowing that too. Twenty-five women by the time he was 21?

To the OP: Find a woman who looks like Britney Spears, and you should be good to go.

Hell, I bet Britney would be so desperate for attention right now...

 

[Halifaxboy8]

how can a guy who's fucked 25 women be gay? I could see if he banged a few to appease his friends in college, but 25? not buying that.

I know a few people that were like that. They had very active sexual histories with women, then at one point in their life they realised they were gay. After that, they stopped hetero sex completely and started a life with men. They always knew they were gay, but it took time to realise it or actively do something to change their lives (usually do to environmental factors). Women, in the meantime, were an outlet and a source of conformity.

So, there is that, and there's this from the OP:

My partner on the other hand is gay

..given he expressed disinterest in having a threesome with a female in the past..

This gives testament that his partner not only identifies as gay, but he finds heterosexual sex unappealing now.


To Traveler1111:

he should be able to enjoy his own fantasies. its only fair.

its not like fucking pussy is an itch that can be easily scratched with his partner alone.

Everyone has fantasies as well as wants. I'd like to do things as well, but I operate out of consideration to my commitments to my partner and the agreed upon rules we have. Does my personal fantasy, that my partner doesn't have the same taste for, mean I should go outside of the relationship to indulge in it..to get an itch scratched?

I suppose its a matter of personal permissions between the OP and his partner. If his partner allowed that then of course its ok.

 

[UKWill]

I neither know how my partner would react to this nor do I know how to approach this given he expressed disinterest in having a threesome with a female in the past

Beginning with the caveat that online advice from people you've never met face-to-face is fraught with all sorts of potential for misunderstanding and miscommunication, this phrase in your post stood out the most for me.

I currently am in the best relationship of my life. He and I are truly, deeply, madly in love. One of the key reasons for that, we both believe, is because we communicate everything. He is 100 percent honest and so am I.

IMHO, you have a problem in your relationship if you cannot communicate wants and desires about sexual matters. At the same time, a relationship is a mutually beneficial state of constant compromise. There will be certain things he likes/dislikes where you feel the opposite way. You will have to let him have his way sometimes, and he will do the same for you. This may be one of those situations.