Need relationship advice....First gay relationship

[bryan757vb]

Hey guys,

About a month ago I posted in hot topics (probably the wrong place to put it, and sorry cant post a url to the original discussion because im a newbie) about my experience with hooking up with a guy for the first time via craigslist,I went on to say how we had a little more then just a hookup, we talked, I held his hand etc... and it was my first time with a guy period and it sent me mixed signals and he then snapped on me when I asked him if he wanted more out of this.

Well fast forward to 2 weeks ago and he called me apologizing and saying how he couldn't stop thinking about me and wanted to try things out, and like a dumbass I did try things with about 5 other guys in the last month to try to explore guys more and forget him (dumb idea I know).

Well we've officially been "a couple" now for 2 weeks and this is my first gay relationship and it almost feels like its too perfect, now that were getting to know each other more, and sexually its amazing, he does recriprocate now and we have sex like constantly which also worries me, but I do feel a real connection to him and like him alot, but it just seems to perfect, hes always so sweet to me, we hang out like 24/7 and when were not together we talk on the phone all the time.

So my question is this should I be worried that our relationship was originally started because of sex? I know Im new to this but I really do have strong feelings for him and is my relationship to perfect? or is that just the new-ness factor of it....And last but not least a couple things he does worries me, whenever we're together he always says "Let me cut off my phone so noone bothers me while im with my baby" which is sweet but also seems like hes hiding something maybe.....and also he lives with his parents so I don't ever get to go to his house, I get that but I dont even know exactly where his house is, hes always at mine.

Thanks for the advice and sorry for the rambling

 

[altlover85]

I think the fact that it started out as a hookup is not that big of a deal. His initial behavior would bother me more.

However, you've put that behind you. I think things are basically okay, but I share your worry about the phone issue. Living with his parents is not something that will change over night. I'm assuming he's trying to move out. Am I correct?

I would make sure you still get some you time because you don't want to overly rely on one another and then be devastated if things go south.

Good luck!

 

[DeadRussianSpaceMonkey]

How old are you both? Is he out? Was he out at the time? Is he comfortable with being gay? Or is he one of those bi guys that never have sex with a women?

"I went on to say how we had a little more then just a hookup, we talked, I held his hand etc... "
Most guys that are into casual sex try to make it so it's not so.. Lets have sex, and then please get the fuck out.

"Let me cut off my phone so noone bothers me while im with my baby", Ugh.. I think I would throw a phone at someone if they used this line on me.

"I do feel a real connection to him and like him alot, but it just seems to perfect, hes always so sweet to me, we hang out like 24/7 and when were not together we talk on the phone all the time."
These are good signs of a good healthy relationship.

"Well fast forward to 2 weeks ago and he called me apologizing and saying how he couldn't stop thinking about me and wanted to try things out, and like a dumbass I did try things with about 5 other guys in the last month to try to explore guys more and forget him (dumb idea I know)."
I am kind of curious why he tried calling after so long? Just be careful with the instant relationship type thing.
Also, why do you feel that it dumb to meet up with other guys? You were single? Right?

What do you feel he is hiding, or is it just the feeling that he is unwilling to let you in all the way to his life?

 

[bryan757vb]

I think the fact that it started out as a hookup is not that big of a deal. His initial behavior would bother me more.

However, you've put that behind you. I think things are basically okay, but I share your worry about the phone issue. Living with his parents is not something that will change over night. I'm assuming he's trying to move out. Am I correct?

I would make sure you still get some you time because you don't want to overly rely on one another and then be devastated if things go south.

Good luck!

Well in all fairness he just graduated college last spring and this economy is kind of tough hes got a job but not his "career" yet so hes working on trying to move up in career and get out of his parents, but he's already trying to push the issue of us living together and its only been 2 weeks, should I be worried about that? also everytime I ask him about the phone issue he just keeps saying "because I love you and want every second devoted to you and noone else" that too me sounds almost too good to be true.

 

[bryan757vb]

How old are you both? Is he out? Was he out at the time? Is he comfortable with being gay? Or is he one of those bi guys that never have sex with a women?

"I went on to say how we had a little more then just a hookup, we talked, I held his hand etc... "
Most guys that are into casual sex try to make it so it's not so.. Lets have sex, and then please get the fuck out.

"Let me cut off my phone so noone bothers me while im with my baby", Ugh.. I think I would throw a phone at someone if they used this line on me.

"I do feel a real connection to him and like him alot, but it just seems to perfect, hes always so sweet to me, we hang out like 24/7 and when were not together we talk on the phone all the time."
These are good signs of a good healthy relationship.

"Well fast forward to 2 weeks ago and he called me apologizing and saying how he couldn't stop thinking about me and wanted to try things out, and like a dumbass I did try things with about 5 other guys in the last month to try to explore guys more and forget him (dumb idea I know)."
I am kind of curious why he tried calling after so long? Just be careful with the instant relationship type thing.
Also, why do you feel that it dumb to meet up with other guys? You were single? Right?

What do you feel he is hiding, or is it just the feeling that he is unwilling to let you in all the way to his life?

Hes very comfortable with being gay and definetely out, I'm still working on me and Im 25, hes 24 so not a big age difference.

 

[DeadRussianSpaceMonkey]

Well, I was just trying to get a sense of the situation.

"but he's already trying to push the issue of us living together and its only been 2 weeks, should I be worried about that?"
Yes. Don't do it. I would simply tell him that you aren't ready for that point in your relationship, and he should take the hint and drop the issue, and give you time. Two weeks is very quick to want to move in with things. I really think he needs to slow down a bit. What's the rush? As you said you are working on yourself, don't loose sight of that either in the process.

"also everytime I ask him about the phone issue he just keeps saying "because I love you and want every second devoted to you and noone else" that too me sounds almost too good to be true"
I don't get why guys play games.. why people search for excuses. Rather then a solution.. Why not just say i'll keep my phone on if it bothers you.. Hell.. Go through it whenever you'd like. It's not a problem. Make there less of a reason to not trust him.

 

[bryan757vb]

Well, I was just trying to get a sense of the situation.

"but he's already trying to push the issue of us living together and its only been 2 weeks, should I be worried about that?"
Yes. Don't do it. I would simply tell him that you aren't ready for that point in your relationship, and he should take the hint and drop the issue, and give you time. Two weeks is very quick to want to move in with things. I really think he needs to slow down a bit. What's the rush? As you said you are working on yourself, don't loose sight of that either in the process.

"also everytime I ask him about the phone issue he just keeps saying "because I love you and want every second devoted to you and noone else" that too me sounds almost too good to be true"
I don't get why guys play games.. why people search for excuses. Rather then a solution.. Why not just say i'll keep my phone on if it bothers you.. Hell.. Go through it whenever you'd like. It's not a problem. Make there less of a reason to not trust him.

I texted him and asked about the phone thing again and he finally said "I wasnt trying to hide anything just really did wanna not be bothered but tonight feel free to go through my phone and look at the endless messages of me bragging to my friends about you" so that does make me feel special lol I'm just not used to this yet, obviously before I came to terms with being gay and dated girls it was alot different girls dont make a habit of constantly complementing and reassuring their bf's. But I am on the right track I did tell everyone of my friends that I'm gay and have a bf so I'm getting there!

 

[hotb0d]

oh it's just the honeymoon period. Things will die down and you will get to experience the actual relationship If it's still good then man...you got yourself a worthwhile man. Keep him.

 

[racer2438]

Only way to figure this out is to have a good, calm talk about you 2 and start with honesty. We can only give ideas, but you are with him and see him you know more of the situation than us and that will tell you more about were he is coming from. If a relationship does not start out with good communication and honesty, issues can arrive and be misconstruded into other things. So talk it out between you 2.

get ideas from the feed back here and that will give you the avenue of where to talk the disscussion in.

 

[rjmrjm21]

You entered into a relationship with a guy off Craigslist that you just met? lol

 

[bryan757vb]

You entered into a relationship with a guy off Craigslist that you just met? lol

yea a little unconventional I know but still is it that bad?

 

[rjmrjm21]

It seems unusual to enter into something with someone that you don't really know.

 

[altlover85]

It seems unusual to enter into something with someone that you don't really know.

People do it though.

Can we move on?

 

[DigitalFudge]

"I wasnt trying to hide anything just really did wanna not be bothered but tonight feel free to go through my phone and look at the endless messages of me bragging to my friends about you"

That's ridiculously cute


Here is a crazy idea, how about enjoy it?


It drains me when people go straight to the problems (Not pointing you out I do it myself all the time)


Unless he handcuffs you to the kitchen and doesn't let you talk to your family I suggest eating this up.

Not a lot of people have a guy that interested in them, I'd milk it.