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Need some advice, help a guy out.

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Hey men.

So here's my story, let me know what you think.


I met this guy on OKcupid.com. For the most part, it's not a hook-up site, it's a place where you can actually meet some cool guys to strike up a chat.

Getting to the point, this guy and I have been messaging back and forth for a week or so now. He seems pretty chill, and a pretty dorky/handsome guy. I guess you can say I have a little crush on him. I showed him my pic, and he showed me his. While talking to my gay friend, he was saying how this site, adam4adam, was a great hookup site and he wanted to show me this guy he was talking to on there; so I made an account. Curiosity got the best of me, and I checked to see if the guy on OKcupid has an account there. Unfortunately, he does have an account on adam4adam as well. However, he checked off, "Friendship, Relationship" only. No intention of hooking up - based on his a4a profile. Also, on OKcupid, we stated that we would never hookup with just someone random, we definitely need a special bond to do anything sexual. My question is, should I continue to talk to him, even though he has an account on the hookup site, adam4adam, and OKcupid or should I just drop it and leave it to be? I just feel that adam4adam is such a dirty, shady site.
 
I'd say if he only has "friendship, relationship" checked off on Adam4Adam, then I'd keep talking to him. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe a4a requires you to create a profile just to view other profiles. It's possible he was just curious as to what else is out there. That doesn't mean he's a pig.

So my advice is to keep talking to him and take the time to continue getting to know him.
 
I wouldn't take too seriously what anybody says on any of these sites, frankly. The important thing is what he's really like as a person, and you can't tell that from a profile.

You can get to know him better by chatting online, but really ultimately the only thing that matters is if you get together in person. Then you'll know right away whether he's real or a phony, and whether or not he's somebody you want to get to know better. All the online chatting etc is just preliminaries.
 
I'd say go ahead and give this guy the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes people are exactly what they appear to be.
 
Thanks everyone for the responses, I appreciate it.


Lol, I guess I'm just overthinking it, typical me. Though he signs on OKcupid and I know he's on because he visits my profile and it leaves a trace there, but he doesn't message me back right away. Any word on that?
 
^ I'm thinking it's probably the "don't want to seem desperate" option, tbh. If he's not into you then I don't think that he'd be checking your profile regularly. About the slow response time... maybe he's really nervous and takes a while to get his responses just right? Idk. I will say that you shouldn't over-analyze this too much. Just relax and enjoy the ride. ;)
 
I'd rather him just be straightforward and direct. But I get what you guys mean, we'll see what's up.


Thanks again for all the responses, I appreciate it. I'm hoping I won't need to post another question about this, but if I do, I do surely hope you good guys will be here!!
 
Real life is one thing. The internet is another.

The question underlying all this is whether this guy is just a chat buddy or whether you're interested in a real life relationship with this guy.

If this guy lives near you, then the only way to really find out what kind of person he is would be to meet him in person. Don't rely upon the internet- it's fine for meeting people but very limited as a means to get to know them.
 
Quick Update:


Too funny. You know how I said I made an account on adam4adam. The guy I was talking to had no idea. Today I wake up and I check it for fun, and guess who messages me? Yeah, him. Thank you for the help you guys, but I'm dropping this shady guy. ON TO THE NEXT.
 
I have had accounts on adam4adam, manhunt and squirt for several months but have only met one person because good people are hard to find, and that one person was off of craigslist. Multiple accounts doesn't necessarily mean shady.
 
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