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Need some advice on a guy I am talking too!

M

Mattcharles

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Ok, I am talking to this really nice guy I met on a4a.
We then took our convos to aim and we are on each others myspace (typically lol)

I only had a few good convos with him on aim and they were a before and after Christmas. At that time we were talking about calling each other but no one gave each other our #'s lol.
So I haven't seen him on aim for a while because he is a paramedic and he is in school right now and will be finishing up in June. Then his schedule is going to lighten up and he told me he will have more time.

So last night I got a hold of him on aim and I messaged him and I asked him if he was still interested in getting to know me.

This is what he said:

hey there
just wanna clarify somethings, thank you for letting me know how you feel
i have been ok, but there has just been a lot going on
i hope everything went ok with your surgery first and foremost
but i just started up school again, working really hard, and that sorta stuff
i would like to get to know you as weel, but i take things extremely slow especially now because of school
i really need to get through this program but i am interested and do want to continue to still talk to you, i just have a lot going on right now and a busy and tight schedule. if that is something you feel that you can deal with then that is cool and if it is not then i understand as well

Ok, I was ok with waiting and stuff like that. but he was suppose to txt me today because we were talking about going to dinner and I wanted to know when he was free. I gave him my cell last night. But he never txted me today. :(
I saw him on aim as well and he never IMs me, I am always the one to IM him first. This time I didn't IM him because he said he would txt me. So I felt that if I IMed him, that would kind of scare him away. Did I do the right thing?
Is he really interested in me or what?
:confused:
He would be a perfect LTR, and that is what I am looking for. :)
 
You did the right thing.

One of two things is going on.

Scenario one. He really IS interested in you, but he really IS tied up with a lot of work. He may have been on AIM, but hell - I'm ALWAYS logged into AIM, even when I'm not home. (I just never bother logging out.) He may sign in any time he gets on his computer (even if he doesn't plan on chatting), or he may sign in to talk to his professors and/or other students (that's something I used to do back in the day). If this is the case, and you start nudging him a lot, you'll just annoy him, and it won't help your cause any. He'll contact you when he has some time.

Scenario two. He really ISN'T interested in you, he's on AIM chatting with others, etc. If this is the case, and you start nudging him a lot, you'll probably get the same response you'd get above - he'll get annoyed, and it won't help your cause any. (Of course, in this case, nothing probably will.)

So which is it? Only one way to tell - hang tight, and see if he contacts you. If you don't hear from him tomorrow, just send him a quickie text - "missed you today - hope you're doing good".

Lex
 
Dude, I hate to shatter your dreams here but his qouted convo is a typical 'copy and paste' from your 'put him on a back burner' handbook.

Sure, he is a busy guy. And sure, there is a lot going on in his life at this time. Now, obviously, you are nowhere close to the top of his priority list, and he is not making any secret out of it. He is also wise enough not to to cut you off completely, as nothing can be gained through it. His response is very typical for men, who are very smart and are having their irons in numerous fires...

My advice: tell him that you fully understand him and that he is most welcome to get in touch with you, once his busy schedule allows for it.

The ball is in his yard and you want to move on and look for someone, who'll put YOU on the top of his priority lists. If you are lucky, you could always turn the tables on the guy #1.

SC
 
Paramedic school is a bit intense, but not that intense. He might have weird schedules if he is "interning" with runs and such, but always there is time if someone is interested.

I agree more with SilverRRCloud, ball is in his court, but if I were you, I would start looking elsewhere.
 
Is this guy out?

Because if he isn't then I would understand why he'd like to take things slowly. A similar scenario happened to me:

I met this nice guy online,we started talking via msn, we were just friends. I wanted to meet him but he was always busy (med school as well) and besides that he was really shy and closeted (which was the real reason he was so sssssllloooowwwww). So I decided to go at his rythm, we met, hung out a couple of times, kept having convos through msn, I ended up getting bored and he ended up falling for me. So yeah, it didn't work lol.

If your guy is in the closet, then that might be a reason for him to be very distant.

In any case, don't be needy and don't text him 24/7. Give him his space and if he wants something he'll contact you.
 
thanks for the replies guys, as I can always count on you all. :)

First, I do not have his number lol. I gave him mine. He was suppose to text me yesterday with an answer to when he was free for our dinner date. Never happened.

Second, I do not know if he is out or not. He has three best girl friends he hangs with. And he roomates with one. So I figure he is out? Or maybe he is hiding it? His myspace doesn't say he is gay, well neither does mine because I do not label myself lol. but then again I did leave a pic comment that he was sexy in one and he deleted it. so I don't know. :(

UGHHHH, why me! WHY!!!
 
Ok so I got a hold of him today! :D
Yayayayayay!! lol.

Well, come to find out he has been sick with that very bad stomach virus that has been going around. He also, told me that he didn't safe my # in the IM I sent him before he closed the window out. I don't know about that one, but I guess I have no choice to believe him lol.
So I gave him my # again and I was like you SUREE you have it down? are you sureee lol. he was laughing. He said he was feeling sick when we were talking on aim so thats why he just shut everything down really fast. I mean I heard that bug is really bad and everyone in his house got it too at the same time lol.

So anyway, he said that he might be free tomorrow night or Sunday night and he is going to txt or call me tomorrow. :)
So I will be waiting on him. So this time I will know for sure he is interested in me because I made sure he saved my # lol.
He did seem more energetic when we were talking though and more happy to talk with me, so that is a plus. :)
I will update you guys tomorrow. (!)
 
That's good.

It seems that he's not sure about things though, like he might be afraid or something. You should ask him how many people know about him so you get an idea of who you're dealing with.
 
he txted me today! we are on for Sunday. :)

So I need some help guys!
What should I ask him?
any ideas? :)
 
So I need some help guys!
What should I ask him?
any ideas?
Click to expand...

No. You can't expect everyone to be your date coach. We're not going out with him. You are.

Think of the topics that might interest him. look for common interests. Look for the things that he is passionate about and be receptive to learning more about these things from him.

If he's worth the time, he'll be doing the same with you.

And by the way, don't make this a txt relationship.
 
Rareboy's right. This one's mainly you.

Thank him for taking time out of his schedule. Show some empathy for how busy he is.

Find common ground and build upwards.

And have a good time, damnit. If you don't, you're doing it all wrong.

Lex
 
Mattcharles said:
Second, I do not know if he is out or not. He has three best girl friends he hangs with. And he roomates with one. So I figure he is out? Or maybe he is hiding it? His myspace doesn't say he is gay, well neither does mine because I do not label myself lol. but then again I did leave a pic comment that he was sexy in one and he deleted it. so I don't know. :(

UGHHHH, why me! WHY!!!
Click to expand...

Dude, he is NOT out. The fact he deleted your comment means he didnt want anyone to see a dude say he is hot.
 
ok so he was suppose to call me last night, but he never did. :(

He said he was studying for a big test that he took today and that he would txt me last night before he called. He never did so I txted him and I said good night.

He never txt me back, so I txted him today to see if we are still on for tomorrow and he said yeah and that he was out with him mom and he would would txt me back later on tonite, he never did. :(

So I will just wait to see if he contacts me tomorrow.
If not, then I guess no dinner date. :cry:
 
You are heading down Heartbreak Avenue, Dude is making to many excuses, Been there done that.

Maybe I'm wronge, Maybe I'm not. Move on before you get hurt.



-Matthew
 
Ok I haven't heard from him most of the day and I was waiting around.

So I txted him and no answer. I feel alseep waiting for him.

It's now almost 9pm, and I thanked him from standing me up.

Then he just txts me back that he didn't stand me up, his grandmother passed away last night. So i ask him will I see him tonite, and he said are you kidding me, I am gonna be with my family, not you.

So I guess I will just hang this one up!
 
I have found that 99% of the time, the "I'm too busy line" is just an excuse. If he really wanted to meet you he would make the time.
 
yeah kat4488, I think u are right. :(

OH well, wasnt meant to be, maybe he had a fault i wouldnt like down the line or something.

I just gotta give it time, I'm sure i will find someone.

I'm a great guy. :)
 
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