Need some advice

[derailed10]

I have recently come out and am in my first relationship with another guy. We have been seeing each other for about three months. I enjoy spending time with him and he seems to be a good guy. My issues are in the bedroom. I have discovered that I enjoy bottoming and giving head. Before we ever fooled around, he said he was vers. Now that we have had sex, he has said he is not really interested/into bottoming or reciptating in giving head. I would enjoy something more than a half-assed hand job. I have mentioned to him I would at least enjoy some head, his reply is maybe eventually. I'm a little bit frustrated sexually. Am I being selfish? He's the first guy I have ever been with. I need some advice. Sorry for such a long post

 

[KaraBulut]

Yours is not a long post. No need to apologize. Congrats on coming out and congrats on your first relationship.

Sex isn't everything. But sometimes it is a symptom of another problem.

Two people in a relationship should be willing to both give and receive in every aspect. Sometimes, if you're short of cash, the other person picks up dinner with the thought that when you have money in the future, you'll pick up dinner. When you're having a bad day, the other person in the relationship will be there for you, with the knowledge that someday, you'll be there for them.

When in comes to the bedroom, that willingness to give and receive should be there, too. It means that your pleasure is as important as his pleasure. If your pleasure and your satisfaction means that you need to be something other than a cum receptacle for him, then he needs to do what it takes to satisfy your needs.

If he wants a future with you, then he needs to be willing to take a dick in his mouth and a dick in his ass every now and then, because it's what will give you pleasure and your pleasure should be important to him.

Keep something else in mind: when a guy controls sex- the "what", the "where", the "when" and the "how often" - it's a sign and not a good sign. Controlling sex is a symptom of other control issues to come. You don't want to be in a relationship with a controlling person.

Go find someone who doesn't have control issues and you is willing to make your pleasure as important as his own. This guy ain't that person.

 

[rareboy]

I agree. run like hell.

The sex is just a symptom of an indifferent or controlling guy.

Keep him as a friend if you enjoy one another's company, but move on to find someone who loves sex as much as you do, or you will never be happy.

 

[derailed10]

Thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it. As much as ending things suck,I think it will be for the best.

 

[flamingo]

This year I have been in my first relationships with other guys. We enjoy each other's company in and out of the bedroom. We get along great as friends and lovers in and out of the bedroom. We really like exploring each other's minds and bodies and what makes us tick. I can see how someone could become frustrated if a partner started showing a lack of interest in your needs/wants. I don't think it is selfish to expect as much respect from your partner as you give to him. Pleasure and satisfaction should be a 2-way street.