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need some Dating advice please guys! :)

Luka

Luka

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SO! I got out of the military 2 months ago and started dating this guy ive known for about 4 years, this have been ok, but a big issue has come up and i could use some help.

He works a set schedule and I work retail so mine changes every week. He knows i dont get my schedule until thursday. He has sat sun mon tues off. he made plans with friends on sat and mon which is fine, i found out my only day I can see him is monday. I brought a drinking problem back from being in the military so i have chosen to quit drinking and not go to bars. When he is with his friends all he wants to do is go to the bar. So I asked if he could ask his friends to switch to Sunday instead of Monday, he tells me no because he would be too tired from going out saturday night. So now I feel like im not a priority in his life that he cant even try to see me. So I called him adn explained how I felt and he said he will not change plans with his friends like he did all the time when he had his last boyfriend. So i am pretty much left to the side and feel like im not all that important to him, he wasnt even willing to find a alternate thing to do monday night rather than go to bars. So im just trying to decide if continuing dating him is a good idea, should I keep trying? thanks boys!
 
Your number one priority is your sobriety. I know that because my husband of almost 30 years is a recovering alcoholic. He'd be drunk or dead if he hadn't made sobriety his priority.

There are guys out there that know that and will want you sober above all else. What chance do you have with a heavy drinker?

Please take good care of yourself.

I'm here for a pm anytime.
 
Seasoned said:
Your number one priority is your sobriety. I know that because my husband of almost 30 years is a recovering alcoholic. He'd be drunk or dead if he hadn't made sobriety his priority.

There are guys out there that know that and will want you sober above all else. What chance do you have with a heavy drinker?

Please take good care of yourself.

I'm here for a pm anytime.
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I agree. I should also add that if he won't make time for you, won't it be better if you found someone that would?
 
I think this lake is not a good one to be fishing in. Pull in your lines and move to a different lake and try casting for something there.

Sorry, but I don't think you have much chance here and you deserve better, you deserve to be happy, and a relationship/dating is a two way street and it is not a divided highway.

Keep your head up and best wishes to you as you make your decision as to this case.
 
I'm glad to hear that you made it back safe and sound...

As far as you BF -- it doesn't sound like he wants to be in a relationship just yet -- and still longs for his personal freedom (based on what you wrote about his former relationship)...

I would give him his space -- but let him know that, in doing so, he has lost exclusivity...

As far as the drinking thing goes -- I guess it depends on you as an individual -- for me, I can go with or without drinking -- When I'm "not drinking", being around those that are doesn't bother me...

You ARE in a TOUGH situation -- BEST of luck!!! ..|

:):):)
 
If this just happened once, or even occasionally, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Being a priority for him doesn't mean that he has to plan his entire life around spending time with you. Are your schedules in such conflict that you can't squeeze in an hour or two on days where you both work? If this is the first time this has happened, then you're coming off as needy. If it happens all the time, then your boyfriend is being very inconsiderate and you should think about whether he is the right fit for you.
 
well thanks for all the responses guys! I really appreciate it! So he actually broke up with me via text haha I woke up to it this morning, he did the whole lets stay friends things but its all good, im not too sad about it. and for the record my drinking problem is more of a control issue, like i cant stop once i start. thanks again! <3
 
Luka said:
well thanks for all the responses guys! I really appreciate it! So he actually broke up with me via text haha I woke up to it this morning, he did the whole lets stay friends things but its all good, im not too sad about it. and for the record my drinking problem is more of a control issue, like i cant stop once i start. thanks again! <3
Click to expand...

Don't let it (drinking) take control over you. The longer you stay this way, the more difficult it will get not to give in. Good luck :)
 
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