Ok so me and my mom hav fight bout if i am gay alot and shes starting to accept it but her main thing that makes me made is she says all gay guys are usually flamboyant or girly and like i like dudes but i dont act that way. Like im into sports, like shopping but i hav no liss or hand gestures, basically im not flamboyant. And i wanna knw, out of all yall how many gays would u say u knw that are normal and not flamboyant?
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Need Some Help with Mom over stupid subject
- Thread starter blayne90
- Start date
versatastic
JUB Addict
i know some pretty lively flamers, and some very butch fags; they all squeel the same in the sac. There's as many straight acting gays as there are femboys, the fem boys are just louder and more noticeable.
Many people see fem as not masculine, meaning weak, frail, and powerless, and guys don't want to be associated with that because from birth we are given a well-defined gender, either boy or girl, highly polarized, and no in-between states. Labeling only limits your perception of someone and that person's perception of himself. When you start to realize that gender is arbitrary and meaningless, imposed by those in power to maintain their power and subjugate all others, then you can begin to see people just as people. Being fem or butch, in reality, is the same thing as being a jock or a nerd. Can a jock only be a jock and not be smart? Can a nerd not be athletic? Likewise, the qualities associated with each gender are not exclusive to that gender.
Many people see fem as not masculine, meaning weak, frail, and powerless, and guys don't want to be associated with that because from birth we are given a well-defined gender, either boy or girl, highly polarized, and no in-between states. Labeling only limits your perception of someone and that person's perception of himself. When you start to realize that gender is arbitrary and meaningless, imposed by those in power to maintain their power and subjugate all others, then you can begin to see people just as people. Being fem or butch, in reality, is the same thing as being a jock or a nerd. Can a jock only be a jock and not be smart? Can a nerd not be athletic? Likewise, the qualities associated with each gender are not exclusive to that gender.
nautiboyjeff
Slut
Ask her if Rock Hudson, Neil Patrick Harris (Doogie), TR Knight (Grey's Anatomy), Ian McKellen and some of the other actors are feminine. Not sure where you are from, but if you live in a descent size town, there are gays, she just has no idea - probably in your own family.
My best friends are doctors, lawyers, businessmen that you would NEVER have a clue until they tell you.
She will see over time, she is just grasping at some stereotypes - probably because she doesn't want you to be that way.....she can't just be happy with YOU!
My best friends are doctors, lawyers, businessmen that you would NEVER have a clue until they tell you.
She will see over time, she is just grasping at some stereotypes - probably because she doesn't want you to be that way.....she can't just be happy with YOU!
spreadeagle
JUB Addict
Preparing a list for her could be useful - but I would avoid placing gay celebrities on your list - often their flambouyance is a factor in their celebrity. You'll be able to find the names of hundreds of gay athletes, soldiers, politicians, humanitarians, artists, writers and so on, on the Net.
But frankly, I would try and nip this pointless sort of argument in the bud by saying 'Look, Mum - you don't know 'all' gay men so you're in no position to judge. However, there is one gay man you do know and that is me. I'm just the same person I've always been and I suggest you base your idea of what gay people are like on what you know, rather than on what you don't know.'
But frankly, I would try and nip this pointless sort of argument in the bud by saying 'Look, Mum - you don't know 'all' gay men so you're in no position to judge. However, there is one gay man you do know and that is me. I'm just the same person I've always been and I suggest you base your idea of what gay people are like on what you know, rather than on what you don't know.'
versatastic
JUB Addict
OMG, there are soooo many gay marines and navy boys running around in san diego. I'm in heaven here! :thewave:
Eternaldarkness
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She was raise in a different time period, her understanding of things are different from us. Then ofcourse, she is a female who is not gay. You see, ofcourse she will not understand you. You are a male who is gay. Saying things like that is just because that was what she learned/thought all of her life. It takes time for her to change and accept the newer thinking.
A lot of gay guys are commonly flamboyant and girlish, yes, but there are a few others. The point is, even if the bigger percentage of gays are flamboyant, we still cannot stereotype by labeling that "all gay guys are." by doing that, we are just the same...dont know any better.
I like to define being gay as "male who is sexually interested in other males. that is the main key right there. They can be the most flamboyant queen, but they are still men.
A lot of gay guys are commonly flamboyant and girlish, yes, but there are a few others. The point is, even if the bigger percentage of gays are flamboyant, we still cannot stereotype by labeling that "all gay guys are." by doing that, we are just the same...dont know any better.
I like to define being gay as "male who is sexually interested in other males. that is the main key right there. They can be the most flamboyant queen, but they are still men.
G-Lexington
Lex. Icon. Devil.
We could trot out hundreds of butch/masculine gay guys for your mother to peruse, but I have a feeling none of this would help. She may simply be in denial about the whole thing. "You can't be gay....because...uh, because you're not GIRLY!" Just reassure her that yes, you are, and no, you don't have to be girly to be gay. And leave it at that.
Lex
Lex