I'm going to try to keep this from being a very long reading. I need some help with dealing with a guy I know.
I met this guy at the club about 2 months ago. I was with someone I met online and I really did not care from him. When I went outside to the smoking spot this older gentleman came up to me and asked me what was wrong. I explained that I was at the club with someone I met online and that I really did not care for him. He told me that if I needed any help I could come and get him. He was with some friends hanging out at the bar. The rest of the evening went ok and right before I left the older gentleman approached me again. he asked how everything went and I thanked him for being there if I needed him. He gave me his number and I gave him mine since he seemed like a nice guy to hang with if I was at the club.
The next day he called me to ask how things went after I left the club. I explained that it was just a bad experience with online dating. We started talking and he told me that he would love to do lunch or dinner sometime and then hang out at the club. I agreed since he seemed like a nice guy.
On Valentines day we met for dinner. He was a very nice to me but I couldn't get over the uneasiness I had around him. He explained that this was his first date in many years. I tried to explain to him we were just hanging out and having dinner but he was convinced it was a date. After dinner we went to the club to hang out. We both got drunk and went back to his place. He asked me to stay the even and drive home in the morning. he tried to have sex with me but I wouldn't let him. He wanted to know why and I just told him that I don't have sex when I am drunk.
The next day I called him and explained that he was a great guy but I'm really not looking for a relationship. He apologized for trying to go to fast and agreed that we should "date" a bit longer before getting serious. I tried to explain that I was only interested in being friends but he kept taking it as dating.
The next weekend I went over to his house to try and explain we are just friends and I think he is a great guy to hang out with. For some reason he understood but still went around telling everyone that we are dating. It got really frustrating because when we went to the club he got really jealous I wasn't by his side all night. He made a little scene and left. I ran after him since I had my car at his house. On the way to his house I explained that we were nothing more than friends. He told me I was just drunk and that he was sorry for what he did.
This weekend I went to the club and saw his friends there. I spoke with them about what was going on and they agreed that I had to take him aside and let him know how I truly feel. I took him outside and tried to explain that we are just good friends. he wanted to know what was scaring me away from him. I explained that I'm just not ready to date anyone. He obviously was not accepting that answer. He felt as if I was dumping him and going after someone else. I made it really clear that I wanted to be one of his friends that hangs out with him at the club. He told me he understood (which I know he really didn't) He asked me to go home with him. I told him that wasn't going to happen.
Last night he called me and asked me what time I was going to the club. He then said that he wanted to get together afterwards. I hung up and text him that we are nothing more than friends and I realize he is having a hard time accepting it. he wrote me back saying that he was just being open and speaking his mind.
I need some help because all his friends know how I feel. They understand that I don't have feelings for him and that I want to hang out as just friends. My friends are a little worried by this situation because they know him and know he is a great guy. However, they are concerned that he may have issues with letting go. The way he is acting and being obsessive is making me not even want to talk to him at all. He has called me today just to talk but I keep cutting him short because I don't want him to get the idea that we are more than friends. I'm not even giving him those vibes but he figures I just don't know what I want yet. He thinks if he gets to spend some time alone with me I will feel more comfortable around him and we can develope a relationship. I hate to just stop answering his calls or text messages but I don't want him to think just because we talk we are dating. He knows exactly how I feel but he seems to not accept it. I don't want to hurt him because he is a great guy but I am feeling trapped. It's obvious being friends is not an option for him. What can I do?
I met this guy at the club about 2 months ago. I was with someone I met online and I really did not care from him. When I went outside to the smoking spot this older gentleman came up to me and asked me what was wrong. I explained that I was at the club with someone I met online and that I really did not care for him. He told me that if I needed any help I could come and get him. He was with some friends hanging out at the bar. The rest of the evening went ok and right before I left the older gentleman approached me again. he asked how everything went and I thanked him for being there if I needed him. He gave me his number and I gave him mine since he seemed like a nice guy to hang with if I was at the club.
The next day he called me to ask how things went after I left the club. I explained that it was just a bad experience with online dating. We started talking and he told me that he would love to do lunch or dinner sometime and then hang out at the club. I agreed since he seemed like a nice guy.
On Valentines day we met for dinner. He was a very nice to me but I couldn't get over the uneasiness I had around him. He explained that this was his first date in many years. I tried to explain to him we were just hanging out and having dinner but he was convinced it was a date. After dinner we went to the club to hang out. We both got drunk and went back to his place. He asked me to stay the even and drive home in the morning. he tried to have sex with me but I wouldn't let him. He wanted to know why and I just told him that I don't have sex when I am drunk.
The next day I called him and explained that he was a great guy but I'm really not looking for a relationship. He apologized for trying to go to fast and agreed that we should "date" a bit longer before getting serious. I tried to explain that I was only interested in being friends but he kept taking it as dating.
The next weekend I went over to his house to try and explain we are just friends and I think he is a great guy to hang out with. For some reason he understood but still went around telling everyone that we are dating. It got really frustrating because when we went to the club he got really jealous I wasn't by his side all night. He made a little scene and left. I ran after him since I had my car at his house. On the way to his house I explained that we were nothing more than friends. He told me I was just drunk and that he was sorry for what he did.
This weekend I went to the club and saw his friends there. I spoke with them about what was going on and they agreed that I had to take him aside and let him know how I truly feel. I took him outside and tried to explain that we are just good friends. he wanted to know what was scaring me away from him. I explained that I'm just not ready to date anyone. He obviously was not accepting that answer. He felt as if I was dumping him and going after someone else. I made it really clear that I wanted to be one of his friends that hangs out with him at the club. He told me he understood (which I know he really didn't) He asked me to go home with him. I told him that wasn't going to happen.
Last night he called me and asked me what time I was going to the club. He then said that he wanted to get together afterwards. I hung up and text him that we are nothing more than friends and I realize he is having a hard time accepting it. he wrote me back saying that he was just being open and speaking his mind.
I need some help because all his friends know how I feel. They understand that I don't have feelings for him and that I want to hang out as just friends. My friends are a little worried by this situation because they know him and know he is a great guy. However, they are concerned that he may have issues with letting go. The way he is acting and being obsessive is making me not even want to talk to him at all. He has called me today just to talk but I keep cutting him short because I don't want him to get the idea that we are more than friends. I'm not even giving him those vibes but he figures I just don't know what I want yet. He thinks if he gets to spend some time alone with me I will feel more comfortable around him and we can develope a relationship. I hate to just stop answering his calls or text messages but I don't want him to think just because we talk we are dating. He knows exactly how I feel but he seems to not accept it. I don't want to hurt him because he is a great guy but I am feeling trapped. It's obvious being friends is not an option for him. What can I do?
One other thing unless you really want to be someones friend don't suggest it...it has alot of meanings to different people.