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Need your two cents ....

hookamonkeyup

hookamonkeyup

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So me and my bf have been going out for a year and 3 mos now. He's great and he can be a total ass sometimes but I love him. The only issue I have, and he knows it, is our sex life. I've been on the bottom end of our relationship since day one and it really sucks because i'm not a complete bottom.:( Even before we started dating he said he wouldn't be able to bottom because he had anal surgery or some sort. I love to top once in awhile but I have not had the chance to top him and I don't think it's going to happen. I don't want to break up with him just because of that. What do you guys think?
 
If you and this man are truly in love with eachother, sex, like everything else, should be made up as you go along. Let him know what you need and ask him what he needs and give it a try. It should all work out.
 
I agree with adidas4boyspunk. What I really like about my guy is that we can and do talk about anything and everything. Sometimes it takes time and patience, but being totally honest makes the experiences so much more fulfilling. If he does give you the same old excuse every time, you have bigger problems in your relationship than who gets to be on top. If you really mutually love each other, you'll be able to work this out. There should be no reason why you shouldn't be able to top at least once in a while.
 
It sounds as if you really love this guy, or obviously you would have split long ago. Try to work it out by calmly talking it out. As for him having anal surgery and not being able to get boned sounds like an excuse. If his hole was that screwed up, he would not be able to handle taking a shit. It sounds more like a mental block, he may have never been screwed before and is afraid of the pain. Maybe he has control issues and can't handle being the bottom: i.e. passive. Is he having trouble accepting that he is gay, and feels that if he got fucked instead of doing the fucking, he would then really be gay.
If he is willing, couples counseling would help get to the bottom (no pun intended) of his inability to let you in. How does he feel about your finger or toys up his ass? Ask him to try slowly sticking a well-lubed toy (a toothbrush handle is a good starter) in his hole while he beats off, let him do it by himself without you around. That will take the pressure off, and once he has an orgasm with something up his ass, he will surely love it. Let him work his way up to ever longer and thicker toys, i doubt he will hate it. Tell him that having your prostate stimulated will make him shoot like never before, pretty much all guys are orgasm addicts, and that should at least get him interested.
If after trying everything you can think of and he still refuses, you will have to accept that it's time to move and find yourself a hungry bottom. Good luck with him and his ass, i hope you get what you need someday.
 
Sorry boys, you may be way out of line. I knew two guys years ago who has surgury for anal warts and both their surgeons gave them the same advice: no more anal sex (and one of those surgeons was gay.) There are a lot of other medical conditions that would be agravated by passive anal sex. This guy may be faking it, but other people (and maybe this guy as well) are not.
 
get someone in to have a threesome with occassionally and you top them.
 
hookamonkeyup said:
So me and my bf have been going out for a year and 3 mos now. He's great and he can be a total ass sometimes but I love him. The only issue I have, and he knows it, is our sex life. I've been on the bottom end of our relationship since day one and it really sucks because i'm not a complete bottom.:( Even before we started dating he said he wouldn't be able to bottom because he had anal surgery or some sort. I love to top once in awhile but I have not had the chance to top him and I don't think it's going to happen. I don't want to break up with him just because of that. What do you guys think?
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You've got a great b/f and you love him, there is only one issue in your life. Man, you have sometihing great here. Let him be the top if that is what pleases him, if that is the only thing he can do. If your only concern is that you cannot be the top on from time to time.... well, man there are lot's of more important things that could be wrong in a relationship. Far more serious than that.
 
OK, so tell him it is time to go back to the doctor and have everything checked out. If he had this surgury before he met you, he needs to be checked anyway. Then ask him if he needs any company when he goes. If it is a true physical problem he should have no problem sharing this with you. If it is a mental block, then you have your work cut out for you. Patience, patience....

If he really does not want to bottom than you have to ask yourself if love is enough to get you through...hopefully it is because it sounds like you have something worth it.

I do not think a threesome is a good idea. Monogamy and talking sound better.

Mac
 
Thanks for the replies guys. I haven't got the chance to talk to him about it since we're both kind of busy. I agree with bluedragon, I don't think threesome would be the best answer. Sounds fun but not sure it's something I would like to try at this moment.

Love your photogallery bluedragon. DC's cool but I'm more of Marvel :)
 
This is just a thought, but perhaps the sex would be better for you if you were not the passive partner. Sometimes these issues are more about equality than which dick goes where. Try you straddling him. It may be his dick getting the workout, but you are more in control. If he doesn't like that idea, then I'd bet it's not his anal surgery that is the issue.

Also, you don't mention oral sex. Does your boyfriend give your cock the attention it needs, considering it doesn't get any other action? That's another possible cause for your dissatisfaction with your sex life.
 
Actually Muskox he doesn't give me that much oral. And when he does, he doesn't really do a good job at it. It is frustrating but this is the longest relationship I've had and I want to keep it that way. I don't want to be selfish and I want to make him happy.
 
Well, hookamonkeyup, I think you need to seriously and dispassionately think about the whole relationship. Your boyfriend seems more concerned with himself than you. And you seem to be concerned with maintaining the relationship regardless of your dissatisfaction. Only you can decide, but, from my very limited viewpoint, it doesn't seem like a solid, loving relationship.
 
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