Neighbor you don't know suddenly contacts you on FB .....

[emjay8]

First time poster. Long time reader. I've got something to bring me out of the shadows.


Imagine receiving a Facebook friend request and "sup neighbor?" type message from someone a few houses away that you have never had contact with and you have no idea how he got your Facebook (meaning he must have done some Googling around to put one and one together). How does this make you feel?

For the sake of simplifying this a bit, the guy contacting you is also gay and there isn't a generation gap.

Are you freaked out and paranoid? Flattered that someone would go to this trouble? Somewhere in the middle?

 

[Seasoned]

It's probably easier for him to begin a cyber friendship rather than an in person one. You can ignore the request or phone him with a "'sup, I was surprised to see your request since we've never met."

 

[Just_Believe18]

I would ask how you feel about it? Is this a contact you'd welcome? Do you find this neighbor attractive? It's only as creepy as you want to make it. I've been aggressive pursuing guys before, and they liked that. As long as there's mutual chemistry, no harm done.

 

[palemale]

A personal friend contacted me on MH. He didn't know it was me. It was after NY passed marriage equality. Had dinner with him and his bf a few days later and they were talking about getting married. I just kept thinking, I can't believe he showed me his cock and doesn't even know it. (I didn't answer him and blocked him after he logged off).

 

[Rolyo85]

Um, I'd be flattered, and say something on the lines of what Seasoned said.

 

[Aymotin]

Are you freaked out and paranoid?

If you are freaked out and paranoid about someone contacting you on a social network, what u gonna do about some totaly new guy who looks at you somewhere, smiles and tries to communicate with you? Shoot him body-body-body-body-body-body-head, just to be sure?

 

[fed1983]

I exchanged glances with a neighbor of mine a few months ago. We don't usually run into each other unfortunately, he's really cute but we've never met.

I have to admit that I've been quite obsessed about him, so I did a bit of research... Since we live in apartments, and our buildings next to each other, with the family names next to each external doorbell, I could easily read his family name when walking past his building, then facebooked it using city filter. And there he was.

But after all this facebook stalking, I just stopped there, since I don't want to creep him out. I'll never add him without first meeting face-to-face (unless it's an obvious looking-for-internet-hook-up case, which isn't here).

But I admire your neighbors guts and determination in adding you. If you like him, just go for it. If he creeps you out, block him, your call

 

[TX-Beau]

Well, what did he want? Did he send you cock shots? Did he want to piss in your mouth?

What exactly did he do to wierd you out?

If he just said "hey how are you," kind of thing, are you sure he's even interested in you at all other than being a friend?

 

[emjay8]

I never actually said in my post who was who. ;p

It would actually be me contacting him. I just wanted to run the general idea by you guys since it felt to me like this is crossing over the line between expected contact and potentially desired privacy.

But it's pretty much this or nothing since we don't exactly ride our tricycles in the street with the other boys and girls, ya know?

I personally wouldn't mind being looked up like this. To me it would be very unexpected and exciting. But I don't know as if everyone feels the same way; which is the reason for the thread.

 

[Ganoderma]

Imagine receiving a Facebook friend request and "sup neighbor?" type message from someone a few houses away that you have never had contact with and you have no idea how he got your Facebook (meaning he must have done some Googling around to put one and one together). How does this make you feel? For the sake of simplifying this a bit, the guy contacting you is also gay and there isn't a generation gap.

Hi Emjay8,

Excuse me very much, but I can not figure out if both of you are gay and if both of you know from each other if you are gay (either if both of you have clues that either of you is not straight, or something like that).

I am not on Facebook, so I don't have a really good picture what's going on over there. I think people on Facebook have a profile in which they indicate a variety of personal interests. So what's on your profile? Any indications about your sexual orientation?

To me Facebook is an online social network where people can meet each other and can send each other all kind of messages, including to people they don't know, or to people they would like to know. I second the advise given by Seasoned.

To me it is totally irrelevant how this guy found the details of your Facebook profile. Well, that's part of the deal when you decide to create an online profile. I tend to suggest that you must not create an online profile on any internet site when you don't like to get messages from 'strangers'?

So I would not bother too much, and react on the way what you think might be a proper and a decent reaction.

Best wishes.

 

[MoltenRock III]

If someone is "creeped out" by neighbors, acquaintances, and the like contacting them on Farcebook, they need to delete their account and stop posting themselves all over the damned net!

 

[Greenherbz]

Not to mention there's a number of ways Facebook can make connections between people's profiles. Its very possible he didn't necessarily google you and look you up but instead came across you on Facebook and recognized your face or something. I wouldn't freak out too much

 

[altlover85]

I never actually said in my post who was who. ;p

It would actually be me contacting him. I just wanted to run the general idea by you guys since it felt to me like this is crossing over the line between expected contact and potentially desired privacy.

But it's pretty much this or nothing since we don't exactly ride our tricycles in the street with the other boys and girls, ya know?

I personally wouldn't mind being looked up like this. To me it would be very unexpected and exciting. But I don't know as if everyone feels the same way; which is the reason for the thread.

Since it's you that is going to be doing the contacting I would probably just say something like "Hi, this is X, your neighbor from a few houses down. It looks like we might have some of the same interests (or you have an interesting profile or you look cute) would you like to go out for coffee some time?

If this is just a friendship thing, then obviously you don't have to mention the cute part.

Good luck!

 

[TX-Beau]

Isn't the point of that online community thing getting to meet people you share interests with?

 

[paulad39uk]

I think you're worrying too much over something that is in the first instance making new friends. What's so bad about that? Give it a go, the worst thing that can happen is that you don't get on, but you may find that you're great friends and something may come of it.

 

[uslad7]

I would say skip the Facebook add and just go knock on his door man; maybe see his routine and "run into him." I think it's less creepy than getting randomly added and asked over Facebook considering you haven't talked.

 

[HunterM]

It's always good to meet your neighbors in person. This neighbor could actually become your friend. If he turns out to be a creep, run and warn your other neighbors.

 

[that-one-guy]

I wish my neighbor would friend request me on Facebook I would have to say its really thoughtful and is a huge compliment to the neighbor

 

[TheOscar]

I would be somewhere in between. I say accept his request and get to know him some.

 

[altlover85]

I would say skip the Facebook add and just go knock on his door man; maybe see his routine and "run into him." I think it's less creepy than getting randomly added and asked over Facebook considering you haven't talked.

I think so too.