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Nervous!!!

S

solare3

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Hallo again.I'm 27 and never been with a man.I feel very atracted to certan kind of men but when sex is the question I always back up.I get hit by guys all the time but I always feel so scared and I usualy leave.I decided to go all the way along tomorow,I arrange sex-date with this very nice guy and I'm nervous as hell.I can't sleep,I'm.afraid.I might cum too fast or start shacking as we make out.It will be just oral sex so any advice of you guys how to make this the right way?
 
There is one profound truth about sex when you are inexperienced - IT DOESN'T MATTER. An experienced guy will immediately know you don't have experience, and if he's a decent person, he won't mind. Nobody is expecting anything from you but yourself. Just go with the flow and don't sweat it. I know the feeling, I also started late - 25 - but it's all in your head, and there is no external reason for it.

That said, some alcohol helps loosen up those nerves ;)
 
I guess just having a beer or glass of wine and taking it real slow and talking to the guy---is out of the question. You don't have to have sex unless it comes naturally from you. Ease your way into it like sliding into a nice warm bath.:p And it is true unless the guy is a complete douche---which you can figure out when you talk to him---he's not going to care if you are good or experienced or whatever.
 
My advice, especially if it's gonna be your first time with a guy, is to find someone you're attracted to and someone you'd actually go on a date with not just some random fuck. That way, you're mentally at ease and emotionally eager.

Second, relax. So what if you've never been with a guy. It's like riding a bike or swimming. Were you good the first day you rode a bike? or started to swim? Of course not. If he knows you're new to this, he shouldn't have any expectations. It's kind of a thrill to break a virgin guy into gay sex too, so, that's something special in itself.

In any case, two cocktails can help you lose some of your inhibitions and anxiety without puking all over him :lol:
Be smart. Have safe sex if it comes to that. Relax and take your time.

Good luck!
 
Your first experience should be with someone you know. A friend can go a long way in making it an enjoyable experience. You will feel more relaxed and safe knowing it isn't a stranger. Random sex, even for experienced guys, can cause nervousness and anxiety because the person is so new to you. You would be more comfortable with a friend.
 
On the other hand there are plenty of people who would freak out far more quickly with someone they know than someone they don't.

Frankly I personally think there is far more pressure with a friend and all the immediate and unavoidable consequences of that, than someone you'll never see again.
 
TX-Beau said:
On the other hand there are plenty of people who would freak out far more quickly with someone they know than someone they don't.

Frankly I personally think there is far more pressure with a friend and all the immediate and unavoidable consequences of that, than someone you'll never see again.
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I agree. Unless your 'friend' is gay and have the hots for you and you've got the hots for him and he's been trying to get into your pants. Otherwise, I'd stay away from friends. Too many moving parts - you can end up getting hurt.
 
Thanks guys for all of your replays.I didn't do it after all :( We met had a drink and I said I have to go.I don't know why.On one hand I had this strong sex drive but on the other I'm not ready for 'mechanical' sex.Anyway feel frustrated.
 
solare3 said:
Thanks guys for all of your replays.I didn't do it after all :( We met had a drink and I said I have to go.I don't know why.On one hand I had this strong sex drive but on the other I'm not ready for 'mechanical' sex.Anyway feel frustrated.
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Pretty normal. A lot of false starts is typical I suppose. It's like quitting smoking :lol: but in this case, you're going to start something. Just remember, don't look for an ideal situation, perfect situation - that hardly ever comes, if at all. The perfect is sometimes the enemy of the good.

Go on grindr, or adam4adam or CL even, if you need to get it on. There's a lot of good-looking decent guys out there. Just as decent and wholesome as you are :lol: looking for basically the same thing *|*. Find someone you're attracted to and might, might, but not necessarily even be interested in asking out if this thing turns out better than expected, don't set your expectations too high though just be practical but realistic.

As always, be smart and play safe. When in doubt, don't.

Good luck! I hope everything turns out well! And give us an update if it does!!! :lol: :lol:
 
Why don't you come clean and tell the other person that you're new to it all? If a guy makes the assumption that you're experienced, you may find yourself getting in over your head pretty fast.

By the way, there's 3 bases on the way to a home run. You don't have to go for a home run on the first date.
 
And getting drunk enough to fuck a stranger in a situation that makes you nervous is a terrible idea. Getting to know someone just a bit is great because you have a chance to relax naturally.
 
bankside said:
And getting drunk enough to fuck a stranger in a situation that makes you nervous is a terrible idea. Getting to know someone just a bit is great because you have a chance to relax naturally.
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I've been at both ends. Anxiety is a sure way of staying limp when with a guy and being too drunk is one also. Some liquor may help to loosen you up but it's knowing what that limit is.

Ironically enough, Xanax which helps with anxiety will most likely kill your sex drive too.
 
If you're 27 and always chicken out when you come face-to-face with sex, you have some problem hat needs to be sorted out. What is you sexual outlet, if not men? Women? Your hand? None?
 
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