Hi - I'm new to this board...was reading a little & thought this might be a good place to post this. I came out around 16 years old, and I am twice that age now - still single. I am not exactly looking for a reason (unless you meet me, there's not much of a point to ask about it on here) - but rather - are there other people out there who are also around my age (or older) who still have never dated anyone long term? Or - do you have friends that are? If so, what's wrong with them? I am just starting to wonder if there are things we have in common. I read enough relationship books to be aware of some issues - but these are not overwhelmingly severe...especially when I see relationships out there between people are literally insane.
It's starting to get a little weird...I mean, there are now endless gay weddings I keep seeing posted on facebook, and all of my straight friends are now officially off the market too...and here I am...no BF - ever. I don't even admit this to people in real life if they ask.
I just moved, so I took the opportunity to meet new guys in the last few months. Nothing turned into anything...except I became friends w 2 of them (so whatever personality flaws I have aren't preventing that at least). A few seemed to have no personality or conversation ability - so that was over with...and another one was my type (completely) - but he ignored me (completely) after we met. That's all just recent stuff...but in 16 years - that pattern has probably repeated itself 10x. This is from meeting guys in every venue (parties, bars, vacations) & using online sites (ok cupid, match, etc). So, I am not stuck with the excuse of having bad online pics or going to trashy bars. I can hook up (so I suppose I'm not totally hideous) - although I've lost 99% of my interest in it now.
I have lived in 2 major cities with significant gay populations...one of which had a huge student population (I was in grad school) so I met 100s of people through that network too...though, I never went out w/ anyone. There were people who I liked - but it was not mutual or they had BFs. I can't remember anyone who liked me in grad school. I went out with other people in the area (non-students) that fizzled out. After I graduated - I found out that one guy I really liked actually liked me back & was apparently hitting on me at some party (and I was oblivious). I met this guy again a year later (he is the one who told me the story that he was hitting on me) - but he already moved on & lost interest by then.
Anyway - if you are looking for "what the problem could be" - I will make it easier on you (even though that's not really why I'm posting). I'm average looking at best, below average in endowment, not muscular - but not fat either (I don't have the body type to be muscular really - I worked out for a year with a trainer and it disappeared in about 3 weeks after I took a break), a bottom, hairy, 6' tall, and not that "masc" naturally. I am overly educated w/ 3 degrees. All of the above (in combo) does not work for anyone (apparently). I don't know the extent I can change these things (or want to change these things). That's why I'm thinking it's pointless to invest/waste any more time on awful dates w/ guys that are draining my time & energy. I am mentioning these traits (out of everything) because this is typically what is what people seem to want online...they are not necessarily what I prioritize.
Are people happy just being single then? For good? I have traveled a lot on my own - but it gets a little depressing... and I am sick of being alone.
Finally, I don't think i am being too picky. I am not that concerned with the typical superficial list like age, body type, dick size, "masc" acting guys, and so on. I can usually be attracted to someone if we have enough in common and if they are reasonably close to my age, decent looking. I have liked plenty of guys in the last 16 years (many of whom were people that my friends found unattractive - so - really - I am not too picky) - but things have not worked yet.
It's starting to get a little weird...I mean, there are now endless gay weddings I keep seeing posted on facebook, and all of my straight friends are now officially off the market too...and here I am...no BF - ever. I don't even admit this to people in real life if they ask.
I just moved, so I took the opportunity to meet new guys in the last few months. Nothing turned into anything...except I became friends w 2 of them (so whatever personality flaws I have aren't preventing that at least). A few seemed to have no personality or conversation ability - so that was over with...and another one was my type (completely) - but he ignored me (completely) after we met. That's all just recent stuff...but in 16 years - that pattern has probably repeated itself 10x. This is from meeting guys in every venue (parties, bars, vacations) & using online sites (ok cupid, match, etc). So, I am not stuck with the excuse of having bad online pics or going to trashy bars. I can hook up (so I suppose I'm not totally hideous) - although I've lost 99% of my interest in it now.
I have lived in 2 major cities with significant gay populations...one of which had a huge student population (I was in grad school) so I met 100s of people through that network too...though, I never went out w/ anyone. There were people who I liked - but it was not mutual or they had BFs. I can't remember anyone who liked me in grad school. I went out with other people in the area (non-students) that fizzled out. After I graduated - I found out that one guy I really liked actually liked me back & was apparently hitting on me at some party (and I was oblivious). I met this guy again a year later (he is the one who told me the story that he was hitting on me) - but he already moved on & lost interest by then.
Anyway - if you are looking for "what the problem could be" - I will make it easier on you (even though that's not really why I'm posting). I'm average looking at best, below average in endowment, not muscular - but not fat either (I don't have the body type to be muscular really - I worked out for a year with a trainer and it disappeared in about 3 weeks after I took a break), a bottom, hairy, 6' tall, and not that "masc" naturally. I am overly educated w/ 3 degrees. All of the above (in combo) does not work for anyone (apparently). I don't know the extent I can change these things (or want to change these things). That's why I'm thinking it's pointless to invest/waste any more time on awful dates w/ guys that are draining my time & energy. I am mentioning these traits (out of everything) because this is typically what is what people seem to want online...they are not necessarily what I prioritize.
Are people happy just being single then? For good? I have traveled a lot on my own - but it gets a little depressing... and I am sick of being alone.
Finally, I don't think i am being too picky. I am not that concerned with the typical superficial list like age, body type, dick size, "masc" acting guys, and so on. I can usually be attracted to someone if we have enough in common and if they are reasonably close to my age, decent looking. I have liked plenty of guys in the last 16 years (many of whom were people that my friends found unattractive - so - really - I am not too picky) - but things have not worked yet.
