The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

Never had a boyfriend

D

Demetri

Virgin
Joined
Apr 13, 2010
Posts
32
Reaction score
0
Points
0
I'm 18 and in college. Since middle school I have dreamed about having a boyfriend. I live in tennessee where there are like no gay people. I get really depressed when I think about the way my love life is. I've set up rules for myself so I don't fall into depression, and start crying. I don't allow myself to think a guy is attractive, or think about having a boyfriend at all. I just really want this pain to go away. BTW writing this is taking a lot of effort.
 
You're telling me there are no other homos in your college.

Not buying it.

Oh. And setting up rules so you don't get depressed is a sign of depression.

Get out there boy. Volunteer for stuff. Get involved with groups. Make 100 friends. At least 10 of them will be homos and if they aren't, you'll be having a great time anyway.

Don't sit staring at your computer screen and expect the Boyfriend fairy to leave one on top of your mattress.

Some effort please.
 
How am I supposed to find all the gay guys? I really don't feel like joining a gay club. I'm not really very flashy about my sexuality. Most people don't announce their sexuality, so I don't feel the need to announce mine. I just don't understand how I'm supposed to find a boyfriend. ](*,)
 
IMHO it will happen the way it has for thousands of years: One meets another guy; one becomes a friend to the other guy and he responds with friendship; soon, the friendship becomes more that just friendship and sex happens.

The sex is wonderful because it confirms the bond of friendship and love which already exists.

Believe me, there are others out there who a waiting to be surprised just as you are waiting to be surprised. The sad thing is that some guys just don't pay attention to what is happening.

My teen lover and I never stopped thinking of ourselves as "regular fellows" but today, many years later, we are still very grateful that we allowed ourselves to discover that "other side" of our sexuality. I loved him then and I love him still though we have had no sex together since graduating high school.
 
I just don't understand how I'm supposed to find a boyfriend.
Click to expand...

Ok.

You don't want to join any club. Or apparently volunteer for anything? Or just get out there and make friends no matter what their sexuality is? You are either seriously clinically depressed in which case you need to seek professional help now, or you are just a spoiled, petulant teenager.

You also don't want to announce your sexuality.

You actually are waiting for the Boyfriend fairy, aren't you?

Sorry, it don't work that way.

You are giving us the recipe for a socially isolated, frustrated, closeted guy.

As I said, some effort here please. While you may have had a lifetime of having everything handed to you without making any effort yourself, it isn't a good plan for your life as an adult. Period.

If you just sit around waiting for someone to come to you, without making the least effort, what is it that you have to offer that they would want anyway?

So. Turn off the computer. Go to the coffee houses. Get a good haircut. Dress better. Smile lots. Go to the gymnasium and work out or something. The homos are all out there. Get yourself one.
 
I'm really shy. I don't really talk to anyone. People do talk to me at school, but I never supply much info. I just feel like im wasting time talking to people.
 
i feel your pain, but i kinda agree with rareboy. you need to put some effort in it, take some risks, do some scary stuff. like, coming out (i assume youre closeted, sorry if im mistaken). if you want your fellow fags to recognize you as one, you do need to "announce your sexuality", and go to places where gay people go.

i would point to the internet as a good source to meet new gay people, but honestly, you dont sound particularly mentally stable, so maybe you shouldnt turn to the internet for the time being. because its so easy to get lost, frustrated, and isolated on the net if youre not a healthy person. so yeah, go out there and expose yourself to some life.

rareboy said:
Get a good haircut. Dress better. Smile lots. Go to the gymnasium and work out or something.
Click to expand...

this is actually some really good advice. may i add: have interests and hobbies, be informed about the world. and stop whining. be a person people enjoy being friends (or more) with.
 
x-cess said:
i feel your pain, but i kinda agree with rareboy. you need to put some effort in it, take some risks, do some scary stuff. like, coming out (i assume youre closeted, sorry if im mistaken). if you want your fellow fags to recognize you as one, you do need to "announce your sexuality", and go to places where gay people go.

i would point to the internet as a good source to meet new gay people, but honestly, you dont sound particularly mentally stable, so maybe you shouldnt turn to the internet for the time being. because its so easy to get lost, frustrated, and isolated on the net if youre not a healthy person. so yeah, go out there and expose yourself to some life.



this is actually some really good advice. may i add: have interests and hobbies, be informed about the world. and stop whining. be a person people enjoy being friends (or more) with.
Click to expand...

Well im not stable right now because im breaking the rules. It catches up to me before it's time to go to sleep. But there isn't anything I can do about that. I know of two guys that are my friend on facebook that are not heterosexual and my age. However I don't know what to say to them. I think that one of them is attractive, and would like for him to be my boyfriend.
 
BTW, straight people are "announcing their sexuality'' all the damn time.

Think of all the ways and and all of the situations in which straight people announce their sexuality, in all of those thousands of permutations.

That let's other straight people know if they're available, in a relationship, interested in one, or interested in someone specific, or just out for a good time.

If none of us ever see you, we don't know you're there, the only way we ever will, is if you announce yourself.

No one is going to do that for you.
 
And by the way, you're friggin' 18. I'd be far more surprised if you'd already had a boyfriend at your age.
 
Well im not stable right now because im breaking the rules. It catches up to me before it's time to go to sleep. But there isn't anything I can do about that.
Click to expand...

Okayyyyyyyyyyy.

You need to get professional mental health care before you do anything else.

There are no rules to break. What are these rules? How can you be breaking them?

There's a lot more going on here than just yearning for a boyfriend here. Until you are mentally stable and emotionally ready, I think that a boyfriend is the last thing you need.
 
I'm old, but I still remember how often it sucked being 18!
You have to take the pressure off yourself. You're 18, you're just born, relax...All things will come to you in their own good time. Meanwhile, like the other posters said, get out and about. (It's easier for "All things" to find you if you're not hiding in your house.)
But, like I said, I do remember being 18, and I know it isn't easy, especially when you're feeling down in the dumps about things. Hang in there, it gets better...
 
I've read each helpful post on here 3 times, but I still can't find the courage to ask him on a date

i just want a boyfriend
 
Start with a friendship - see where it goes from there.

Ask him to go to the movies, eat or mall or whatever you do there.

You will know if he's into you and you may just end up with a friend out of the whole deal and/or meet other people through him.
 
You're at a crossroads. Most of the time, when you're in high school (especially in conservative areas) the possibility of coming out is not even on the radar.

Now you're in college. All the backward bullshit from high school is gone. And it's time to start living your life.

So, start living it. Be honest about it. Never apologize. Never feel like you're doing anything wrong.

Who you sleep with should never control your life. Choose the people who you want to know about your personal life. Don't worry about the rest.

The key right now is to meet open-minded people and make friends. If you're near Nashville, Chatanooga or Knoxville, then get involved in organizations where you can meet people. The best way to meet guys in places like Tn is through friends.

And believe it or not, there is no shortage of people like you- even in Tennessee. The gay social networking sites are FULL of guys from Tennessee.
 
I want a boyfriend too. I see everyone else in a relationship, happy, and why can't that be me? Guess it's my own fault 'cause I'm too shy and introverted. And there's also the fact that I haven't come out of the closet to anyone.
 
I want $100 million and world peace.

If wishes were horses, all beggars would ride.

So I'm going to have to keep working for the money and world peace.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top