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New BF is uncomfortable with farting in my presence and in bed

SteveyBoyLA

SteveyBoyLA

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I know this may sound far-fetched, but it isn't. My new bf have just started to sleep together, but he gets all embarrassed and almost ashamed when he farts in my presence or in bed. He feels that he has to get up at night to go to the bathroom, or won't come to bed until his "gas problem" has been eliminated. I, on the other hand, don't have the same concerns - I consider this a normal bodily function. What's also strange about this is that he is old enough to know so, but he hasn't had a lot of past long-term relationships to understand that there is very little that should be considered offensive between two people that want to be or sleep with each other. God forbid I actually opened the door to the bathroom as he is taking a shit.

Have any of you had incompatible non-sexual issues that became hang-ups in your relationship? How did you handle them?
 
I had the same problem when I first started my relationship, but after a while I just got used to it. Give it some time. Or you can be an icebreaker (or in this case: a windbreaker) and fart in his presence and just be nonchalant about it. Let him know that it's okay. Surprisingly after a mutual fart, my relationship raised to a new level.
 
It's a personal decision and choice. If he feels better not doing it in front of you then let him be.

In my case, I won't do it in front of my bf and don't want him to do it in front me, I just feel it takes away the romance.
 
Not far fetched. I can actually relate to your bf...I'm not a big fan of farting in the presence of others...especially don't like it when others fart around me. The thought of breathing in foul smelling air that was recently inside someone's intestines grosses me out. Occasional mild gas, not a big deal...but if I know a big stinky one is coming on, I'll leave the room and appreciate it if my bed partner does the same. There really is almost nothing worse than sleeping in a room reeking of beer, broccoli, etc. farts.

It's such a minor quirk/hang-up of his that it's probably just easier to accept it and let him do what he's comfortable with. He may relax in time. Don't make an issue of it either...it'll only make him more self-conscious (more anal retentive ;))

As for the bathroom etiquette....I prefer privacy when shitting too...leave me alone! :mrgreen:
 
SteveyBoyLA said:
I know this may sound far-fetched, but it isn't. My new bf have just started to sleep together, but he gets all embarrassed and almost ashamed when he farts in my presence or in bed. He feels that he has to get up at night to go to the bathroom, or won't come to bed until his "gas problem" has been eliminated. I, on the other hand, don't have the same concerns - I consider this a normal bodily function. What's also strange about this is that he is old enough to know so, but he hasn't had a lot of past long-term relationships to understand that there is very little that should be considered offensive between two people that want to be or sleep with each other. God forbid I actually opened the door to the bathroom as he is taking a shit.

Have any of you had incompatible non-sexual issues that became hang-ups in your relationship? How did you handle them?
Click to expand...

How long have you two been together? How much time do you spend at each other's places?
 
I agree with Jaysizzles, and your bf for that matter.

MY BF recently moved in. fortunately we both feel that farting in public even just each other is inconsiderate at best, and that there are certain activities that the bathroom door should be shut for. Its funny because this house has two bathrooms, and he has taken the other one for his.

Its not like we would die of shame if we walked in on the other accidently, but I do think you can get too comfortable.
 
altlover85 said:
How long have you two been together? How much time do you spend at each other's places?
Click to expand...

We've been together about 3 months. We basically stay the weekends together. Maybe it's how I grew up. My dad was completely comfortable farting if he had too (not always, but if he did, he would say 'excuse me'), walking around the house in his skivees in the morning, etc. So were me and my brother.
 
jaysizzles said:
I'm not a big fan of farting in the presence of others...especially don't like it when others fart around me. The thought of breathing in foul smelling air that was recently inside someone's intestines grosses me out. Occasional mild gas, not a big deal...but if I know a big stinky one is coming on, I'll leave the room and appreciate it if my bed partner does the same. There really is almost nothing worse than sleeping in a room reeking of beer, broccoli, etc. farts.
...

As for the bathroom etiquette....I prefer privacy when shitting too...leave me alone! :mrgreen:
Click to expand...

^I'm the same way. Also...I hate morning breath as well. If I want to kiss and have sex in the morning, I go brush my teeth first then go back to bed to have fun. I expect my partner to do the same.
 
SteveyBoyLA said:
We've been together about 3 months. We basically stay the weekends together. Maybe it's how I grew up. My dad was completely comfortable farting if he had too (not always, but if he did, he would say 'excuse me'), walking around the house in his skivees in the morning, etc. So were me and my brother.
Click to expand...

3 months seems like a fair enough time that you would think he would be somewhat comfortable about things. Everyone has their own comfort level though.
 
Lol, this is interesting. I'm not even sure its about how you were raised. My mom and dad pass gas allll the time around the family. I've just always found it gross, lol. It's a natural bodily function yes, but so is pooping and peeing. I dunno, I just see them all as things that need to be done in private.

Maybe in time he will come around if he knows that you really aren't bothered by that.
 
"You farted while you were sleeping. Do that again and I never want to see you again."

Have that said to you once: instant issues for rest of romantic life.

Or perhaps it's the way he was raised. At any rate, have you talked about it? Let him know you think it's okay? It's his choice whether or not to fart in your presence, and you should let him make that choice for himself, but you could let him know where you stand.
 
treanir said:
"You farted while you were sleeping. Do that again and I never want to see you again."
Click to expand...

Wow. Well whoever said that is an idiot. Don't they know that while you're sleeping you don't have control over whether or not you fart?
 
I personally would wait at least six months before I fart in front of my boyfriend. A year before I admit I poop. :D
 
What about overreacting? Pretend you faint or feel terribly grossed out. Perhaps with humour, he would see it's silly to give such importance.
 
huntneo said:
haha...I know right.

The first couple of months when my partner and I were dating, he would come down and spend weekends at my place. I ONLY used the bathroom if I was running the shower in the background. I never wanted him to hear (or worse) smell anything. !oops![-X
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I thought bma1983 was being facetious. Now, I'm interested to see if he was being serious or not.
 
altlover85 said:
I thought bma1983 was being facetious. Now, I'm interested to see if he was being serious or not.
Click to expand...

I was joking...kinda. If I had to use the bathroom, I would run faucet to hide the noise of me going to the bathroom.
 
I am very picky about passing gas around others too.

The restrooms at work are next to someone's office. I go out the office door, around to another door that is out of sight before going in the restroom. All of this to avoid someone seeing me going to the restroom and associating me a loud "blowout." LOL
 
I wouldn't want to fart in front of my BF. I just think it would be kinda rude and it would make me feel awkward. Accidentally or reflexively, fine, it happens. But if I know it's a deadly one and I can hold it in until I'm alone or in the bathroom, I will, for the sake of my BF.
 
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