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del113

del113

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hey Antares.

First of all nice blog.

Seems that you have a lot of "issues" in your life at the moment , what with your parents and grandmother who don't seem to accept the fact that you are gay. You know as well as I do that being gay is the way you are born, yes we can all make choices in our lives and decide on which path we want to lead, but if your family dont accept who ( not what) but who you are then they are the ones with the problem or issues and not you. I expect that you are happy to be gay and feel more fulfilled in a same sex relationship, than you would be in a hetero relationship. I dont feel that you should be pressured into anything that you are not comfortable with and perhaps not going away with your family and brothers friends gave you time to think and reflect on your life. The older generation dont or can't accept that being gay is acceptable and you will have a hard time convincing them otherwise, but be strong and given time they will realise that they do love and cherish you for who you are and when that day comes you will find peace and happiness within yourself. Don't give-up , be strong for yourself and the rest will follow.

If I have gone off track here i do apologose to you but there are people out there who know just how you feel and will support you. Good Luck
 
Sorry , me again. Couldn't work something out, but I am assuming that you see Dr Thomson for stress and anxiety, could be wrong here but if you feel that sessions are not working or relieving stress then you should think about stopping . However if this doctor is a hot guy then just imagine hin talking to you naked and see how you feel then
 
Hey.

Do u mind if I ask?, How many sessions have you had with your doc and at what stage in your life did you start seeing her?

Also , although it doesn't solve the issue that you have with parents and nana, if you have friends that you can stay with for a short time , this might help things cool off for a while but unfortunately may have the negative effect of driving a deeper wedge between you all
 
A backup plan is not a bad idea. I would simply ask if your parents want you to be happy or if they even understand what the "talk" do to you. You may want to mention to your Doc and see if she wants a family session. I also don't know how long you have been seeing this doctor, but remember that if it does not seem to be working for you, it may mean you need to find another doc that will be more effective in helping yousort through this. Just remember, you have many of us on your side.......(*8*)
 
If I was in your situation, I'd put an end to these "talks" with members of your family. You're gay, that's not changing, so what is the point of sitting down and having to explain yourself to them repeatedly as if what you are doing is wrong?

My brutally honest opinion: you're 24, you're a grown man. You don't have to put up with constantly defending your sexual orientation if you don't want to, so put a stop to it.
 
Hey,

I see that it has only been 4-5 sessions now but I am in healthcare in the UK, I'm not a counsellor or psychiatrist/psychologist but I am a specialist in homecare / general medicine, but it seems to me that you are just beginning to open up to your doc now so will probably need another 5-6 sessions to reach some sort of level in your life that allows you to cope with things the way they are at present. Suggest Hypnosis and Regression therapy for you and if that is not an option, whether due to healthcare policies or indeed the skills of the doc then i agree with pegasus in that you should seek some other specialist that may be able to help.

As for your 'rents' and nana, although extremely difficult to change the way that they feel, you should persevere with talks, i.e, YOU starting the talk off , not allowing yourself to keep things inside your head, but to try again and be open with them and ask them once again ( as i am sure you have done already) to understand and appreciate things the way they are and not how they and society want you to be the person you ar not.

Forgive me if I am wrong, but from these few short posts , I sense that you are a loving, caring person, who has much to give to others and enjoys being in the company of others but due to the way things are at home, finds it extremely difficult to express your true feelings even though deep down, your family do love you but find it hard to accept who you are, If you want to PM me then feel feel free. You do as pegasus says have friends here on JUB who do know what it is like tp feel the way you do but we are here to support you through this.
 
I assume this has something to do with the thread you started about living at home at your age. I tell ya, I would have been at the end of my rope before now. Sorry that your grandmother can't get past this issue at this point, but if it were me there would be no more discussion of the issue - particularly when it drags you down.

You have to surround yourself with positive forces because life is too short to be around people who think the glass is half empty.

Good luck.
 
If your mother tries to "convince" you that you are not gay, politely explain to her that there is nothing she can do to change you, that that is like you trying to convince her that she is a lesbian.
 
I don't know if this will help or not, but if you still live at home you need to find your own place if financially feasible.

I am sorry that your mother and grandmother do not understand ( I do not get a mother that lectures instead of getting more info on the subject.)

If they are really stubborn the argueing and lecture will only get worse if you are right there. Out of sight, out of mind. Not that they don't care and love you but sometimes they are more accepting if it is not in their face all the time, so to speak.

Remember this is who you are and that unconditional love that mothers have for their children will come through after the shock and ,yes fear for your safety, lessen and fade.

Good luck to you,
Mac
 
Hey Mark. I posted on your forum before I found this post. I sorry to hear the news. I was thinking about you last night, when I noticed that you didn't update your blog. Everybody that's posted above me has made excellent points. But in the end it's up to you. What would happen if you did move out? I agree that it's nice to be on your own and stuff, but this will not provide a immediate solution to your problem. I watch the Daily show and Colbert report when I can so I say you just need to show them this pic and tell them that "THEY ARE ON NOTICE!" :D (come on....show me that smile! )
 
Sometimes I think they need a strong dose of Reality in these situations. Such as pointing out all of the things you love about men. Or picking up a magazine and pointing out who's hot. Things that show them your gayness isn't simply a word but is indeed deeply rooted in you.

Otherwise they just don't seem to get it.
 
read your blog today and I'm glad that your feeling better then you where yesterday! ..|

Just take it one day at a time. Remember..." I am a leaf on the wind - watch how I soar. " - Hoban 'Wash' Washburn, line from the movie Serenity (based on the tv show Firefly)

(*8*)
 
I've found that the so-called straight world has lots of understanding people; most are ready to deal with you and be your friend even when they have their own hangups. Most folks want to be more than merely tolerant, but they don't know how. Be honest with them, give them time and you may be wonderfully surprised how many understanding friends you will find.
 
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