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New, Edifying Relationship

hanshansen said:
You don't want him to think you're desperate - you ARE desperate! You want to show him that you can function without bugging him all the time - you CAN'T!

I always tell people that I'm a method actor when it comes to dealing with others. By that I mean that I try to get into what I think is the right mindset for a situation and then the details will take care of themselves. That's probably too extreme. But all the tips and tricks in the world are not going to help you with your relationships until you figure out how to ACTUALLY be less demanding of other people - because YOU think it's good, not as a facade while deep down you are still desperate for people to like you.

Two reasons: people won't take long to wise up to you and run for the hills. And when they do, it will send you into a tailspin.

So my advice - forget about how to build up some kind of persona to fool Jason, and work on yourself. Opening up to a therapist would be a good first step.
Click to expand...

Han,

I do respect and appreciate (and apply) the mostly valid advice you've offered. However, you seem to be equating my application of giving Jason 'space' as acting. I'm a bit offended by that. I sincerely employed a strategy that would terminate obvious signs of 'desperation', give Jason some 'space', and also develop my patience. You took my sincere, thoughtful actions and discounted them as mere "tips and tricks" to "fool Jason."

Like yesterday, I've been successful so far in leaving Jason alone all day today. I haven't sent any emails, IMs, text messages, or called him. What did I do instead? I filled my day with studying for a pre-semester exam and running all over town to take care of some car-related issues. You see, I do have a life and I don't have to spend every waking moment thinking about Jason (or what he thinks about me).

Do I look forward to when he contacts me? Yes, of course. Even then, I'm very aware that I should project a persona of restraint and just be casual with him.
 
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