New Guy Coming Out

[Xavier_Holland]

Whoa whoa whoa. Coming out like that after a bad marriage is an extremely painful route. The reason why is because you're left with the question of why did I spend so much time on something that's no longer around, and you feel like you went in the wrong direction I'm sure. Relax, take a deep breath.

38 is not the end of your life.

In fact, most men at your age are like prime meat to the young guys. Don't get upset or unhappy with yourself at your age man. You're always sure to find someone out there. My father(whose completely straight and deeply religious) used to tell me all the time.

"Love comes at any age."

So relax, quit rushing yourself. Or you'll find yourself in the same spot as before. Enjoy being single for the moment, know why? No limitations, no expenses, and nothing but time to enjoy yourself and the things YOU want to do.

Go skydiving, take a trip to a foregin country for a few days(a cruise is only a few grand), or even better. Rent a movie, and watch it with the lights off and the volume way up. Be rebellious and shake off those inhibitions from your age. You can say your life is half over, but really man. I think your life is just getting started.

 

[Riverrick]

Well, don't give up. Spend some time around here and make some friends. If you're gay, you're gay. I don't see how staying married would have made things any better.

There's lots of options, as Xaviar has done such an incredible job of pointing out. For example, he mentions cruises. Well there are gay cruises. You can make life long friends on these things. There are other kinds of gay vacations and destinations. Go to any gay resort with a pool and you'll have instant friends to chat with. Same with a gay campground.

And Soil's gonna tell you to join a gay organization that is an interest of yours - biking, hiking, etc. Great idea! I'd say to do it even if you have to travel an hour to the nearest city. Its time to expand your world.

Good luck Champion. And Welcome!

 

[Soilwork]

38 years is too long to live life to please others.

They going to tell you how to live, but you'll have to do your own looking back with regret.

Time to come and and tell them that it's NOT in your head and that you'll now live life on your own terms.. and they can live on theirs.

As I've said before.. Prince Charmling only knocks on the door in faerie tales.

 

[Soilwork]

Oh yea... and join a gay baseball team and you'll meet a whole bunch of other gay men with similar interests in a non-sexually charged environment. You'll make friends and eventually you'll meet Mr. right... just when you're not looking for him.

 

[jockboy01]

Wow, you went back into the closet? That sucks. The idea of doing that all over again sucks.

The advice here is good already. I like xavier's comments... life isn't over. Today really is the first day of the rest of your life... so don't waste it thinking about the time that already passed.

 

[confusedboy23]

Just carry on what you're doing - go out there and meet guys and see if anything develops out of it. Perhaps, do some soul searching on the reasons behind why things didn't work out with those guys you have dated in the past. Feel free to share it with us here on JUB.

 

[joeG23]

Focus on the future not on the past, if you write things off yourself, you'll never see the opportunities when they arise. Think positive and things will work our for you. Best of luck.