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New to this forum, newly single, and still in the closet...

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Frankie13

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Hi everyone,

My name is Frankie. I'm new to this whole online posting thing, but I could really use some advice. I've considered myself bisexual for the last three years. Up until college, I had only dated girls. But I met a man (I was hired as his lab assistant) in college who was gay and we became very good friends. Long story short, we began a relationship several months later and even became engaged. I loved him very much, but we ended up breaking up earlier this year.

Only a very select few knew about this relationship and I have sworn them to secrecy. The thought of coming out as bisexual to everybody terrifies me. I'm afraid that people won't believe that I am actually attracted to people of both sexes. I know that most of my family will be supportive, but of course I have a couple relatives who will not be so nice about the whole thing. I'm just wondering if anybody else here has had this kind of experience (coming out as bisexual) and can maybe offer a few words of wisdom. I'd greatly appreciate it!
 
It's always terrifying to come out. I'm gay, not bisexual, but I always say that coming out won't be as awful as you fear, nor as great as you hope. It's somewhere in-between.
 
The heart wants what the heart wants. Go with your gut. Take a chance. You only live once. Don't let that special someone slip away no matter what gender. I've wasted my entire life playing the field and yet again playing it safe. I'm alone now and it's all my fault. Go for it and never look back.....welcome to jub btw
 
Everyone in here has been there. You will never be yourself until you can admit who you are.

Why is that a problem? Why is that a secret?
 
There's really two parts of "coming out". You've already done the hardest part- admitting to yourself that you had feelings for a guy and that this wasn't a temporary "curiosity".

Where you fell short on the second part was in being in a serious relationship with someone but keeping that relationship a secret from the important people in your life.

While everyone has a different way of coming out to their friends and family, it doesn't have to be a big event. You can just date another guy, stop changing genders when talking about him and just start introducing him to friends and family as your "boyfriend" or "the guy that I'm dating".
 
I always wonder why straight people aren't required to come out and announce they're straight to friends and family. In the most awkward way possible too. Got to set a higher bar.

They expect us to do it. Seems like a double-standard.
 
offthewall14420 said:
I always wonder why straight people aren't required to come out and announce they're straight to friends and family. In the most awkward way possible too. Got to set a higher bar.

They expect us to do it. Seems like a double-standard.
Click to expand...

Straight people are telling each other they are straight all the damn time. It's fundamental to how they socialize.
 
TX-Beau said:
Straight people are telling each other they are straight all the damn time. It's fundamental to how they socialize.
Click to expand...
^QFT

They show up one day with a girlfriend or boyfriend. Or they're leering at each other from a distance. That's as much of an announcement as anyone needs to make to anyone other than the closest of friends and family.
 
KaraBulut said:
^QFT

They show up one day with a girlfriend or boyfriend. Or they're leering at each other from a distance. That's as much of an announcement as anyone needs to make to anyone other than the closest of friends and family.
Click to expand...

...but that is how I do it. I "came out" five minutes after it occurred to me I was gay....it's not as brave as it was my no filter thing...my family just sat there at the Breakfast Table and it didn't occur to me that I should even care what they thought....

Other than that..I told a few waitresses so they would stop trying to get me in bed....

Everyone else..I just introduce them to my boyfriend ....or they see me with him and figure it out..I let them deal with it on their own terms and I actually have had no crap with my way of doing it. I fit right in with all the "man's man" types and I get along with them great. I also love feminine guys and get along with them great....

I would rather eat poop and die than ask for anyone's approval or acceptance for me being what I am. I give it to myself...period.
 
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