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Newbie - help please!

Greenman

Greenman

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Hi JUB-ers.

I'm a 23 years old >boy< who just moved to Denmark to study(production-engineer). I am 100% gay, I am (very) shy, since I come originally from a very conservative country(guess the country! Right answer=kiss) - where they kill gays(not literally). I'm not a stereotypical gay(I think), because I have hide my sexuality quite well. I have always known that I am gay but I haven't fall in love and I still haven't expirienced sex:cry: . As you may figure, I'm getting desperate:lol: I've been raised also conservative(momma's little boy:wave: ) and haven't expirienced the life and what it has to offer. As said, I just moved and I'm ready to kick it off:gogirl:

I just got a new friend, whom I really like - we cook together and talk. He looks very good, cute and sexy - have the sweetiest smile:luv2: But I am afraid of taking the chance since our friendship is the one I really cherish. I don't really know people here in Denmark and he is the only one I talk to. So what should I do?

I want to fall in love:kiss: and do the thing:sex:

So I need some advices from you guys - what a gay-guy needs to know, the basic stuff.

Thanx in advance!

Love K.
 
(*W*) Yup... Welcome to JUB.


Salford pretty much covered it.

Two things you want to consider:

What is that you really want to know?

Is this friend of yours gay?

or

Does he fancy you?

He may or may not be gay. He may or may not be out, even in a very liberal country such as Denmark, some people would rather keep such matters to themselves, for whatever the reason may be. Why would this be important to you?

So, I guess, you'd rather want to see, if he fancies you.

How 'bout a nice dinner, couple of drinks and some private talk, if you feel that there is a chance, he really fancies you.

Another thing: you say you are shy. You'll find a number of similar posts here.

So, what are you going to do about it? You know that both society and sex discriminate against the shy folks, rite? So, how about deciding to stop being shy for a while, and just hang out in a bar or a club with other dudes? Look, we are all shy here. We only stopped being shy, once we realized that this was putting us on hold, while the guys, who showed some guts were getting all the fun out there.

So, you decide which team you wanna join...| ..| ..|

Take good care of yourself. (*8*)

SC
 
I know this does not work for everyone ; BUT .. I have found that if I have a couple of str-8 porns and a couple of Gay porns laying out on the coffee table ... and I say , "Ya' want to watch one" (if he's shown an interest) .... then tell him to choose and that you watch ALL kinds of porn .... that it loosens up the tension in the air ... and go from there ...
 
Denmark is a beautiful country indeed, I can't wait to visit it again someday! :D Oh, did I mention that the guys there are pretty cute too, LOL. As for your friend, just as most of the guys here have mentioned, you should take it slow and easy. Spend more time with him and get to know him better. Go out for a ball game or a movie, or go have dinner together. You can slowly drop hints that you're gay if you're not comfortable coming out to him all at once, and gauge his reaction. I might just add that :gaysex: with someone you love feels a lot better than just any random hookup. So, take it easy, he will come along and I always say that good things will unexpectedly as surprises!
 
Hi guys.

Thanx for the advises + the questions - it really got me thinking.
And KennyD, I don't think that I can do that:eek: :LOL:

I'm quite sure that my friend is totally straight - but there is a small chance. I bet it is the old story again- new friend>fall in love(I easily fall in love)>friend is straight>broken heart:grrr:
We just had week off from the school both of us. He went home and I haven't seen him in 8 days. For one hour ago, I went to the kitchen to get some eat, and I saw him!!! He had a new haircut - WOOOOW!!!:cry: I didn't know how to react, so I smiled and gave him my hand and said: "Welcome back" - embarrassing! I didn't expect seeing him, so I was panicing - I can't really remember what I/we said after that. When I went back to my room, I locked the door and smiled like I never smiled before - I think I laughed, because I really was a dork:rotflmao:
He is very nice and kind, down-to-earth and funny. Oh, now I remember what I said, I invited him to come over and maybe talk - I hope I will see him before the day is over - he is soooo hot!!!;) *screaming like a teenage girl*

Well, I am getting more and more relaxed here in Denmark, I saw 2 hot guys when I was in the supermarked today - and I was naughty enough to check them out and looking at them in a very loong time(!) I'M SO NAUGHTY!!!:wave:
Men from Denmark are so HOT!!!:twisted:

Thanx again for the advices and the questions, I have to think deep in the upcoming days:D Thanx:kiss:
 
Remember what goes on in Denmark stays in Denmark, be very naughty indeed ;)
 
You're a humorous guy, Greenman. I enjoyed your posts.

Eventually coming out to him will help you clarify things. Once he knows you're gay, he will have the chance to come out or not. If he doesn't, then you can assume he's straight for now and start to look elsewhere for real love. There's nothing worse than falling in love with a straight guy.

Welcome to JUB!!!
 
Before you whip yourself into a froth over gay bars and clubs and hot boys in the supermarket take a moment to go online and search for Danish Gay Community Centres - in your own neighbourhood if possible. This will give you immediate access to listings of all gay venues and a whole host of resources on matters like accomodation, health, immigration etc- there's a good deal more to being gay than just getting hot and horny with another guy.
 
Ok, some update.

I truly fell in love with him, and cried so many times, because I couldn't get him. But I decided that I will concider him as a friend. And since it have been great.

Yesterday, I had birthday. And I had planned to reveal my sexuality to my great friend(have been thinking about it in a very very long time). So I invited him to dinner... It was great... Untill we were finished eating... I planned that I will tell him after we ate, so the risk of losing apitite or choking was minimized...

I began to shake very much, he noticed it - and said something that I made the table rock very much... So I said that I always wanted to tell him a secret that I have kept in many years... I was getting tired of hiding it, becase I felt that I lied to my friends, and myself of course - I hope that our friendship will never ever change because of this... And if he doesn't accept that, I would never ever forgive myself saying that. I am sure that you have seen some signs and maybe, you already know it. Them I said: "I'm homosexual"*the world stops*


He smiled and said "ok.... I didn't know that." He said that is very good that I said it, it isn't something to keep hiding, you are what you are and nothing can change it. And he said that our friendship will not change a bit because of that...(!) He can't see some signs that I am gay(yipiiiie!!!). Maybe, something will change - because I am going to get my revenge:badgrin: . When we go on the street, he always point out sexy girls and make a comment about them. And from now on, I will definitely point some sexy guys on the street... I can't wait!!!!

I was a bit emotional just right before I said it - I always thought when I come out for the first time, I would be a wreck, but no!!! I find out that coming out is something to be happy about. Today, I have been in a best move... Mondays usually sucks, but this one have been great...

This is the first step... :wave:
 
Congratulations Greenman!!!

Thats so great that it went so well for! You seem like a really honest open guy - its really great that you feel so good now...what a first step! Well done mate!

Good luck with pointing out the guys thing too...as they say...revenge is sweet!!
 
Congratulations!

What a great coming out story and what a nice friend you have!
 
You did well. Congratulations... and belated good wishes for your birthday. (*8*)
 
yo u DID do well. And definitely point out the hot stuff to him on the street. That's your privilege as much as pointing out the hot chicks is his.
ding
 
We ate dinner today again - one week after I came out. I have been more open to my school-mates and had more fun actually. Even though I came out to one person, it have helped. I feel that I have a bigger freedom to be myself and it have result that I feel better with myself... But there is a (small) problem rising up again(once you thought you are free, another comes up - DAMN IT!!!!)

As you know, I'm in love with my friend(the one I came out to). And we both are busy with last projects before Christmas-break and upcoming exams. We haven't really seen each other since last week, it's ok for me at least... But my love for him is growing, and truly in a bad way!:( He is 100% straight(even though he has gay-qualities - CUTE!!!:D ) and it hurts me badly that I can't give love to him. It is a awful feeling to know that me & him could make something wonderfull, where he would be so happy to be with me and vice versa. It hurts me really to think that my happiness is a couple doors from where I stand, but I can't have it!:( Right now, I'm pretty much depressed(1 to 10 - 8)... Ladies and Gentlemen, I want him so badly!!!! What the HELL am I going to do?????!!!!! It hurts very bad to be near him...

Last week, I dreamed of him(I usually don't remember my dreams). I was in a place(bowling-hall? Whatever) with him and a another friend(girl)... I left them one or two minutes because I had to do something(doesn't really remember what - toilet? Whatever), and when I came back, him and her were kissing so intimately. I was so mad at him - it was very hard to see him kissing another person and not me!!!:( I woke up, and was grumpy all day because of this dream and what he did - thank God I didn't see him that day. I still have this image where he kissed the girl with eyes closed and uuuuuhhhh!!!!
The thing is, I am so sure that I will have the same feelings when I see him with another person. Since we met this summer, I know that he haven't been with someone, and I'm afraid that he will do it soon... So I want to prepair myself, help me how to handle this ugly situation. How do I do, to stop thinking about these wishfull thinkings about me & him happy together? You must know this, I can't afford losing a friend right now(he is pretty much my only friend right now):help: What's the best I can do?

Thanx in advance, K(*8*)
 
A couple things have happenned since the last time. I came out to more people and it have gone well. The most important thing is, I kissed a guy for the first time in my life, this weekend. Whoohooo! It was great! I love my life!!!!
 
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