ChrisGibson
JUB Addict
AND NOW THE FINAL CHAPTER OF NIGHTS IN WHITE SATIN, THE END OF GESCHICHTE FALLS
He woke, and his dream had been full of Russell, and Cody could not piece together what had happened except he was there and he was at peace, and he got up out of bed naked, and frustrated and rambled through his pile of books on the little old cinderblock shelf before pulling down Ovid. They had been too poor for cable and porn, but Cody had learned dusty books had the best filth, and as he’d grown older, Ovid had fed his filthy mind and met him in places no one else could. He flipped to chapter nine, to where Byblis had fallen in love with her brother Caunus, and he read.
At first she thought it surely was not wrong
to kiss him passionately, while her arms
were thrown around her brother's neck, and so
deceived herself. And, as the habit grew,
her sister-love degenerated, till
richly attired, she came to see her brother,
with all endeavors to attract his eye;
and anxious to be seen most beautiful,
she envied every woman who appeared
of rival beauty. But she did not know
or understand the flame, hot in her heart,
though she was agitated when she saw
the object of her swiftly growing love.
Now she began to call him lord, and now
she hated to say brother, and she said,
“Do call me Byblis—never call me sister!”
Was it possible that, somehow, Ovid had understood what no one else Cody knew could?
“…And, if he were not my own brother, he
why is my fond heart tortured with this dream?
He is so handsome even to envious eyes,
it is not strange he has filled my fond heart;
so surely would be worthy of my love.
But it is my misfortune I am his
own sister. Let me therefore strive, awake,
to stand with honor, but let sleep return
the same dream often to me.—There can be
no fear of any witness to a shade
which phantoms my delight.—O Cupid, swift
of love-wing with your mother, and O my
beloved Venus! wonderful the joys
of my experience in the transport. All
as if reality sustaining, lifted me
up to elysian pleasure, while in truth
I lay dissolving to my very marrow:
the pleasure was so brief, and Night, headlong
sped from me, envious of my coming joys….
apparent cause have shown it — and my warm embraces, and my frequent kisses, much
too tender for a sister. All of this
has happened, while with agitated heart
and in hot passion, I have tried all ways,
(I call upon the Gods to witness it!)
that I might force myself to sanity.
And I have struggled, wretched nights and days,
to overcome the cruelties of love,
too dreadful for a frail girl to endure,
for they most surely are all Cupid's art.”
Ah, but Byblis had lost her mind and been turned into a river because she couldn’t get her shit straight, but most of the time, Cody was sure he could barely get his shit straight either.
The tip of Nehru’s cigarette glowed as he inhaled deeply and, half smiling, rubbed his hands on the thighs of his snug and faded jeans.
“Only a couple of more days, right?”
“I still can’t believe you and Cameron were the only people at Hale and Marissa’s wedding,” Cody said.
“It was a spur of the moment thing,” Hale said, “Cameron was in the car.”
And of course, though no one had to say it, everyone knew Hale would never have been married without Brad and Nehru at his side.
Returning to the original subject, Brad said, “So, when do the test results come back?”
“In a couple of days, I think.”
Then Cody said, “You don’t think it’s stupid?” resting the guitar on his lap.
“No,” Nehru shook his head. “I think it’s brilliant. I hope it works out. I more than hope it works out.”
He looked from Russell to Cody. “I don’t know what you’ll do if things turn out right or how you’ll explain it, but I hope it all works out.”
They were sitting on the stage of Noble Red, but not playing tonight, and Brad began to play and sing, while he watched his pregnant wife sitting with Cameron and Chris Knapp.
“Omaha, somewhere in middle America
If you're right to the heart of matters
It's the heart that matters more
I think you better turn your ticket in
And get your money back at the door
Oh yeah…”
“Snow again,” Gilead said, looking out of the large picture window of the Noble Red.
“Don’t worry about it,” Mark said. “This has got to be the last snow of the year.
“Where’s Anigel?”
Mark’s eyes roved the room.
“Ross is in town,” Russell said. “So is are my cousins Jimmy and Macy. They showed up and she disappeared with them. I think they’ll be back tomorrow. You know, I like that synagogue, but not as much as the one we went to up north.”
It was Friday night, and properly dark now, but as even had set in, Mark and Gilead had arrived and taken Russell with them to the synagogue downtown which Russell had only seen but never entered.
“Well, I agree,” Mark said, “but the drawback of that synagogue is—”
“It’s up north and we’re here,” Gilead finished.
“Exactly.”
“Well,” Russell said, “the good thing is for an hour I didn’t feel like a crazy heathen who had lost all his senses. And I didn’t feel like I do now.”
Mark looked at him, but Gilead said, “And how do you feel?”
“I’m so nervous,” Russell clasped his hands together, shivering.
“Look,” Gilead said, “No matter what the test says, I think you should just love who you love.”
“You’d support that?” Russell raised an eyebrow.
“Of course I would,” Gilead said. “You used to be at peace, and when you don’t have Cody, you aren’t at peace.”
Marissa had left the table where Cameron and Chris sat and when she did, Cam touched her hand affectionately, and Russell saw that none of them was without love, that no matter what that horrible Dena Dwyer was, there was love enough here for Cameron who leaned into Chris’s arms, and at the young man smiled, delightedly, holding her, Cameron and Russell’s eyes met and were filled with light.
MORE AFTER THE WEEKEND
He woke, and his dream had been full of Russell, and Cody could not piece together what had happened except he was there and he was at peace, and he got up out of bed naked, and frustrated and rambled through his pile of books on the little old cinderblock shelf before pulling down Ovid. They had been too poor for cable and porn, but Cody had learned dusty books had the best filth, and as he’d grown older, Ovid had fed his filthy mind and met him in places no one else could. He flipped to chapter nine, to where Byblis had fallen in love with her brother Caunus, and he read.
At first she thought it surely was not wrong
to kiss him passionately, while her arms
were thrown around her brother's neck, and so
deceived herself. And, as the habit grew,
her sister-love degenerated, till
richly attired, she came to see her brother,
with all endeavors to attract his eye;
and anxious to be seen most beautiful,
she envied every woman who appeared
of rival beauty. But she did not know
or understand the flame, hot in her heart,
though she was agitated when she saw
the object of her swiftly growing love.
Now she began to call him lord, and now
she hated to say brother, and she said,
“Do call me Byblis—never call me sister!”
Was it possible that, somehow, Ovid had understood what no one else Cody knew could?
“…And, if he were not my own brother, he
why is my fond heart tortured with this dream?
He is so handsome even to envious eyes,
it is not strange he has filled my fond heart;
so surely would be worthy of my love.
But it is my misfortune I am his
own sister. Let me therefore strive, awake,
to stand with honor, but let sleep return
the same dream often to me.—There can be
no fear of any witness to a shade
which phantoms my delight.—O Cupid, swift
of love-wing with your mother, and O my
beloved Venus! wonderful the joys
of my experience in the transport. All
as if reality sustaining, lifted me
up to elysian pleasure, while in truth
I lay dissolving to my very marrow:
the pleasure was so brief, and Night, headlong
sped from me, envious of my coming joys….
apparent cause have shown it — and my warm embraces, and my frequent kisses, much
too tender for a sister. All of this
has happened, while with agitated heart
and in hot passion, I have tried all ways,
(I call upon the Gods to witness it!)
that I might force myself to sanity.
And I have struggled, wretched nights and days,
to overcome the cruelties of love,
too dreadful for a frail girl to endure,
for they most surely are all Cupid's art.”
Ah, but Byblis had lost her mind and been turned into a river because she couldn’t get her shit straight, but most of the time, Cody was sure he could barely get his shit straight either.
The tip of Nehru’s cigarette glowed as he inhaled deeply and, half smiling, rubbed his hands on the thighs of his snug and faded jeans.
“Only a couple of more days, right?”
“I still can’t believe you and Cameron were the only people at Hale and Marissa’s wedding,” Cody said.
“It was a spur of the moment thing,” Hale said, “Cameron was in the car.”
And of course, though no one had to say it, everyone knew Hale would never have been married without Brad and Nehru at his side.
Returning to the original subject, Brad said, “So, when do the test results come back?”
“In a couple of days, I think.”
Then Cody said, “You don’t think it’s stupid?” resting the guitar on his lap.
“No,” Nehru shook his head. “I think it’s brilliant. I hope it works out. I more than hope it works out.”
He looked from Russell to Cody. “I don’t know what you’ll do if things turn out right or how you’ll explain it, but I hope it all works out.”
They were sitting on the stage of Noble Red, but not playing tonight, and Brad began to play and sing, while he watched his pregnant wife sitting with Cameron and Chris Knapp.
“Omaha, somewhere in middle America
If you're right to the heart of matters
It's the heart that matters more
I think you better turn your ticket in
And get your money back at the door
Oh yeah…”
“Snow again,” Gilead said, looking out of the large picture window of the Noble Red.
“Don’t worry about it,” Mark said. “This has got to be the last snow of the year.
“Where’s Anigel?”
Mark’s eyes roved the room.
“Ross is in town,” Russell said. “So is are my cousins Jimmy and Macy. They showed up and she disappeared with them. I think they’ll be back tomorrow. You know, I like that synagogue, but not as much as the one we went to up north.”
It was Friday night, and properly dark now, but as even had set in, Mark and Gilead had arrived and taken Russell with them to the synagogue downtown which Russell had only seen but never entered.
“Well, I agree,” Mark said, “but the drawback of that synagogue is—”
“It’s up north and we’re here,” Gilead finished.
“Exactly.”
“Well,” Russell said, “the good thing is for an hour I didn’t feel like a crazy heathen who had lost all his senses. And I didn’t feel like I do now.”
Mark looked at him, but Gilead said, “And how do you feel?”
“I’m so nervous,” Russell clasped his hands together, shivering.
“Look,” Gilead said, “No matter what the test says, I think you should just love who you love.”
“You’d support that?” Russell raised an eyebrow.
“Of course I would,” Gilead said. “You used to be at peace, and when you don’t have Cody, you aren’t at peace.”
Marissa had left the table where Cameron and Chris sat and when she did, Cam touched her hand affectionately, and Russell saw that none of them was without love, that no matter what that horrible Dena Dwyer was, there was love enough here for Cameron who leaned into Chris’s arms, and at the young man smiled, delightedly, holding her, Cameron and Russell’s eyes met and were filled with light.
MORE AFTER THE WEEKEND
