No love back = keep trying?

[TheMadHatter]

I'm 21, still in the closet, and attracted to "daddy" types much older than I am. I found a guy on SilverDaddies and have been seeing him on and off the past 3 months. He is only the second guy I've had sex with. He is 60 (but looks 50), extremely handsome, in great shape, smart, cultured and very humble. In his profile he specified he would only consider a LTR with "Mr. Right". I also was mainly interested in friendships.

Since March, I cannot stop thinking about this guy. The worst part is, he is always going back and forth helping his disabled parents with chores so he's not in town that often. However, we have kept in touch over the phone and emails.

In my last email to him, I wrote him a phone book size email confessing how much I'm in love with him. I also stated that even if he didn't love me I would still like to be good friends. Over the next few days, some things came up and it seems as if the email got pushed aside or forgotten. In his last email, he told me that he will be busy all week and out of town next week. What broke my heart was when he said this Wednesday he has a date. I haven't seen him in 3 weeks, told him I love him and I want to see him, and now he can't even squeeze in some time for me. I'm really sad now and don't feel like ever talking to him but I still am in love?!

I don't think I will reply back yet. I feel like waiting to see if he will try to reach out to me. Usually it has always been the other way around.

Any advice?

 

[rareboy]

He wanted a young guy to fuck. Not fall in love.

Get over him.

Move on.

 

[G-Lexington]

Let me just highlight some parts of your post.

In my last email to him, I wrote him a phone book size email confessing how much I'm in love with him. Over the next few days, some things came up and it seems as if the email got pushed aside or forgotten. In his last email, he told me that he will be busy all week and out of town next week. What broke my heart was when he said this Wednesday he has a date. I haven't seen him in 3 weeks, told him I love him and I want to see him, and now he can't even squeeze in some time for me.

In his profile he specified he would only consider a LTR with "Mr. Right".

You're not Mr Right.

He probably likes you just fine. He enjoys having sex with you. But when it fits into his schedule. Which, right now, and for the foreseeable future, will not be very often. You can either sit around and wait for his schedule to open up, and spend whatever time with him he chooses to allocate you, or you can leave him and find somebody else. Frankly, I'd suggest the latter.

Lex

 

[TX-Beau]

I'm 21, still in the closet, and attracted to "daddy" types much older than I am. I found a guy on SilverDaddies and have been seeing him on and off the past 3 months. He is only the second guy I've had sex with. He is 60 (but looks 50), extremely handsome, in great shape, smart, cultured and very humble. In his profile he specified he would only consider a LTR with "Mr. Right". I also was mainly interested in friendships.

Since March, I cannot stop thinking about this guy. The worst part is, he is always going back and forth helping his disabled parents with chores so he's not in town that often. However, we have kept in touch over the phone and emails.

In my last email to him, I wrote him a phone book size email confessing how much I'm in love with him. I also stated that even if he didn't love me I would still like to be good friends. Over the next few days, some things came up and it seems as if the email got pushed aside or forgotten. In his last email, he told me that he will be busy all week and out of town next week. What broke my heart was when he said this Wednesday he has a date. I haven't seen him in 3 weeks, told him I love him and I want to see him, and now he can't even squeeze in some time for me. I'm really sad now and don't feel like ever talking to him but I still am in love?!

I don't think I will reply back yet. I feel like waiting to see if he will try to reach out to me. Usually it has always been the other way around.

Any advice?

Big sigh - where to begin. Let's be blunt shall we. Three months is very, very, early to be writing tomes about how much in love you are. You have no experience - you're not even out. He's a lot older, probably not looking for what you are, and you don't really know him anyway.

So what in this situation leads you to believe that was a good idea?

Well, it's damage control time. Walk away. Chalk it up to naive hoping, and learn something from the experience.

1. You're not out, and so long as you're in the closet, that one guy you met on manhunt will always be your only option. Come out. There are a lot of guys out there who might like you, they might fuck you, but they're not going to date you if you're in the closet - and the guys who will have sex with you, aren't generally thinking of some closet guy as a prospect for happily ever after. Because you're not. No one's prince charming hides them in his dirty little secret box. Your first step to finding the love and happiness you want is to come out of the closet.

2. If you've only known him for three months - you don't know him at all. Slow the fuck down.

3. Some guys find it creepy to get declarations of undying love after only three months. It scares them away, and can come across as a little psycho.

4. If he's telling you he's dating other guys, he's not interested in being exclusive with you.

 

[TheMadHatter]

Thanks for the advice guys. It's always refreshing to get more opinions.

@TX-Beau - Although I'm not out yet, I know what love is. He told me upfront he has no problem with men still in the closet.

Yes, it has only been three months but we've had plenty of discussion. I felt obligated to tell him my feelings because he will be forced to move away soon. I didn't want to regret not telling him.

I know I jumped the gun a little. I'm going to take a break from it all to sort out my feelings.

 

[Just_Believe18]

There are plenty of other older men out there who would love to have a younger guy. You're not missing out on anything here.

 

[TX-Beau]

@TX-Beau - Although I'm not out yet, I know what love is. He told me upfront he has no problem with men still in the closet.

Yes and you see how far that got you.

Come out.