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No pleasure from anal stimulation at all...

Kamikaze

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So my boyfriend doesn’t seem to get any pleasure whatsoever from anal stimulation. A finger does nothing for him, a small prostate massager that vibrates does nothing for him. When I rim him he said it’s ok but does nothing and I go all up around his cute hole. But he said he’s been like that for a while like anal he doesn’t feel any pleasure and sometimes it just hurts. Like I get the pain sometimes but generally for me it feels good.. like even the smallest finger or rimming for me feels good. I want to fuck him and for him to feel good cause his butt is so cute. . Like one time I rimmed for a while and then worked my way to fuck him and came inside him and he said he gets turned on by the domination but gets not hard at all...

Any experiences? Maybe it’s a psychological thing?
 
Assuming that there's not a medical reason (e.g. anti-depressant medications) that would account for his lack of sensation, it might be just be how he's wired. Not everyone finds the same amount of stimulation for different sexual acts- there's nothing unusual about those variations.

Another misconception: guys who love getting fucked always get hard. Stimulation of the anus and prostate don't trigger erections in all men and for a lot of guys, penile pleasure and anal pleasure are two different things, even if one can compliment the other in some guys.

Maybe the real issue is that you're looking for more of a response? Maybe the problem is not that he doesn't enjoy getting fucked, but instead the issue is that you want to know that he's enjoying your efforts when you fuck him?

He's told you that he was turned on my the role play that was part of your fucking him. Perhaps you should focus more on exploring that? And if the issue is that he's not communicating that he's turned on by the experience, maybe that's what the two of you need to work on?
 
Hello, I do not get anything at all from anal. It's not a medical issue, it's not something someone is failing to do, it's just not something that has any pleasure for me. The only thing I get out of it is making my baby happy.

He knows this, and it took awhile for me to convince him that I do it for him because I want him to be happy, and as long as he does for me what I want, I'm happy to let him have it.
 
Not every gay man likes anal so it is what it is. as long as he his happy pleasing you then that is healthy. But just go slow so he has no pain and keep talking make sure you are both happy and both get the most out of sex. If this is something he is happy to perform for you but itsnt really in to it, maybe ask him what you can do for him before hand.
 
I'm going to echo the same sentiments as the other posters. It doesn't seem like there's an issue here - I think your partner is probably just more top-oriented, unless he doesn't like to stimulate you anally either, and in that case he may not be interested in any level of anal play. Much like others are suggesting, not EVERY gay man receives pleasure from being anally stimulated (I would know, as I am one of them). And, unfortunately, this is why it's so important to have that frank, honest conversation about sexual compatibility up-front with any/all prospective partners. Tell them what you like. Tell them what you don't like. Lay out your boundaries. Tell them what you're interested in exploring. Because not everyone is versatile, and not everyone likes everything... which is why communication from the very start is so important.

Also... he might be lying about getting 'turned on' by the domination element to make you feel better in the moment. I don't buy this whole "some guys get turned on by things but don't get erections" - unless there's a third-party issue here such as erectile dysfunction or he's on some type of medication, our penis's are a very clear indicator of sexual arousal lol. If it's up, we're enjoying something. If it's flaccid, we're either neutral and/or non-aroused. You might be fucking a guy and he'll go in and out of staying hard, which I think is normal and fine - but if you're doing something to someone and they remain completely flaccid the entire time, I think that's an indicator that they're not experiencing effective sexual stimulation.
 
We communicate about this a lot. We always talk about sex up front. And we’re doing things now that like we’re experimenting with different things. I do know that not all guys are stimulated anally. I had a guy who hates being fingered or anything anal but when I rim him he loved it. He does like being dominated he had told me lol. But you’re right being flaccid does mean some things. He said that the very first time I topped him it was enjoyable because we did a lot of foreplay. So can go from there. Luckily I don’t always like topping anyway. Clearly I’m a bottom and I mostly just like rimming him which he likes but still says it’s weird sometimes. He does like it when I suck him off so I know for sure that turns him on and I like doing that. Things are hit or miss sometimes but yes I think it might just be he’s not wired that way... I’m sure there’s more to it perhaps because yes, I was being fucked sometimes and I wasn’t hard only because I wasn’t into it... it happens. And sometimes it depends on a lot of things for it to feel good. We’ll keep exploring but we do talk and are up front about things. That’s the thing though at least for me if it hurts a little bit I am still slightly turned on so idk. He’s a strange guy but I like him. Lol
 
You’re all right though the constant check in needs to happen. I remember having pretty bad bottom experiences and I’m still navigating that. So I think we can both navigate things together.
 
Anal isn't a requirement of gay relationships. Some guys don't enjoy anal at all, and some love it. It's just about finding the balance that works best for you.
 
I do NOT get hard at ALL when bottoming....if anything, my flaccid cock shrinks MORE. I cherish bottoming and anal stimulation
 
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