Nobody knows I'm gay. (?!)

[Lube]

OK, this news story isn't directly relevant to sexuality or coming out, but it's interesting to think about:

Study shows people can tell a lot about a person from a single photograph.

Now, folks: clearly, people can't necessarily tell you're gay from a single photograph. That's not what I'm saying.

But what the study suggests to me, is that people are pretty good guessers. You don't have to say a word about your looks (or, presumably your actions or inactions) and people can build a story around your life. This story won't always be 100% right, but people are pretty good at using unspoken clues and context to build these stories.

So, my only point here is this: if you've been staying in the closet indefinitely (years or decades) on the assumption that nobody knows you're gay because you haven't told them... well, maybe you should re-read the article.

(This is not meant to be mean or to try to force people out of the closet. It's a simple "splash of cold reality water". )

 

[Royal Heart]

I agree this is fascinating. I've read other articles about why we judge each other on appearance - and it's a survival trait we needed to quickly access something or someone to decide whether to make friends or kill it and take its stuff.

It's really interesting when you take that ability of ours and put it into a social context. It was never intended for that kind of situation, but it continues to work in unexpected ways.

 

[trikky]

I read somewhere that the human face has more muscles in it than the face of any other animal. How many times can you read very subtle changes in someone's facial expressions that give away what they are thinking inside? A Human face gives away so much info from how honest someone is, to every emotion a human being is capable of feeling.

I agree, because I know that usually your first instinct about a stranger is the right one and it is only by guys pretending to be straight that people might start to think they were wrong. However most people generally have a good idea.

 

[Telstra]

he to train yourself to spot gays ........

 

[Lube]

I read somewhere that the human face has more muscles in it than the face of any other animal. How many times can you read very subtle changes in someone's facial expressions that give away what they are thinking inside? A Human face gives away so much info from how honest someone is, to every emotion a human being is capable of feeling.

I agree, because I know that usually your first instinct about a stranger is the right one and it is only by guys pretending to be straight that people might start to think they were wrong. However most people generally have a good idea.

I'm always telling my bf that his eyebrows give everything away.

It infuriates him.

 

[erobert]

Important thread ahead.

Despite what others think people are more perceptive than we give them credit for. Gaydar, at least I believe, is related to survival skills. There are many studies about deciphering someone just from their face or even a photograph of them. Here's a great segment from a BBC special called Secret of the Sexes:

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEI34ciR4js"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEI34ciR4js[/ame]

I think I have developed pretty good gaydar personally and I get what I call a lot of "bisexual blips" on it. How do I even know? I can see it all over your face and through your body language. Something about a person who's into the same sex changes when they see someone attractive.

It's different than any other look or behavior, it's very specific. As it is meant to be to signal interest (evolutionary biology)

"I'm always telling my bf that his eyebrows give everything away." Also, pupil size too hence confirming my belief that it's genetic.

Anyway, I'm rambling now. The short version of my post: people are more perceptive than you think, sometimes you're not fooling anyone but yourself and don't over think the concept of gaydar, you'll know who is and isn't when you see them. And in many cases they'll know you are too. Glad you brought this up Lube.

 

[AUmatty]

I'm of the opinion that people always have their suspicions, even if they don't "know." So play closet games all you like, folks, but you're never as seemingly straight as you think you are.

 

[Ryuusei Boy]

I'm not saying I don't agree, but I wish people around me (family and friends) would be more perceptive, I'd not even have to come out at all!. I know you probably think most of my close friends and relatives would already know, but I swear they just don't have a clue. I'm a weird guy (gay or not), so people don't find the fact that I'm not interested in a relationship that strange.

My friends make gay jokes all the time, jokes that they wouldn't make if they'd know about my orientation. They don't mind having physical contact with me, and they even think they know my taste in women, lol. My family is no different. I met a (gay) guy not so long ago, and he told me he wouldn't have guessed I'm gay. And I'm definitely not Mr. Macho... I guess it has to do with my voice, it's pretty un-gay.

Also, several girls have hit on me, but no guys yet. Well, except for this gay guy that I mentioned, but we met on Manhunt, so, yeah.

 

[Rex]

Sometimes you can tell someone is gay by just their face. It's called "gay face". Someone's voice also tells a lot about their personality.

 

[Lube]

^Yeah, and sometimes bi guys have it.

But we're not talking about looks here. We're talking very generally about the people around you being more perceptive than you think they are. Family, friends, schoolmates, & coworkers figuring out you're gay or bi, perhaps before you have (or at least perhaps before you admit it to yourself).

"Straight-acting" is usually delusional.

(Unless you're weird, like RyuuseiBoy, LOL )

 

[Telstra]

^Yeah, and sometimes bi guys have it.

But we're not talking about looks here. We're talking very generally about the people around you being more perceptive than you think they are. Family, friends, schoolmates, & coworkers figuring out you're gay or bi, perhaps before you have (or at least perhaps before you admit it to yourself).

"Straight-acting" is usually delusional.

(Unless you're weird, like RyuuseiBoy, LOL )

who is RyuuseiBoy. Any link of him.

 

[Lube]

who is RyuuseiBoy. Any link of him.

Sure! (he he)

And I was just teasing him, because he called himself weird. I'm sure he's a very nice guy.

 

[Telstra]

Sure! (he he)

And I was just teasing him, because he called himself weird. I'm sure he's a very nice guy.

oh ok, i forgot to read posts on this thread.
I thought you call RyuuseiBoy delusional, straight acting and weird LOL

quote:
"Straight-acting" is usually delusional.

(Unless you're weird, like RyuuseiBoy,

 

[CudDULL]

my friend says i have gay pictures....lol

 

[erobert]

Gayface that's the name of it. Not all gay and bi guys have it though as Lube said.

Gayvoice is an interesting thing too. Sometimes it can be subtle inflections or pitch and other times it's a dead giveaway.

 

[Lube]

I always hated recordings of my voice. It's so gay. Not in a swishy, lispy way; but very gay nonetheless. Now that I've accepted myself, it doesn't really bother me. But it's still pretty gay!

 

[Ryuusei Boy]

I have a quite deep, low pitched voice. I think it's one of my less-gay aspects, lol. Some days ago I was told by an uncle: you look like a boy, but sound like a man

 

[Lube]

^ You're Rick Astley's illegitimate child?

 

[Lube]

Gayface that's the name of it. Not all gay and bi guys have it though as Lube said.

Oh, you mean like Sting, Steve Jobs, and Matt Lauer?

 

[blahman16]

I guess this kinda goes hand in hand with how people associated someone's appearance with their sexual preference (being top or bottom).