Nobody Says "Thank You" Anymore

[cabsterman]

okay, this is a venting post. Maybe somebody can explain to me what gives...

Retail
In the checkout line at the grocery store and the cashier barely looks at me and says "how you doing". I respond back with "good, how about you?" then move my cart to where you pack the groceries at the end of the line. I proceed to pack about 90% of my own groceries, pay the cashier, and hand the receipt to me and says "have a good day". BLAH!!! No "thank you for helping pack the groceries"? No "thank you for shopping with us and stop back soon?" I don't get what happened to being polite to people that are shopping at your store and helping contribute to your paycheck!

When I did p\t barista work at a chained coffee establishment, there was always a "hello, how are you today?" "what may I get for you?" after the drink was paid for, then it was "thank you and please stop back again" or something of that nature.

Courtesy Driving
What is with not waving a polite thank you for letting the person in your lane when pulling out of street or store? That is NOT something that is a law or expected. The driver is letting YOU in as a courtesy. There should be some form of recognition for that like a nice wave to say " thank you" person for letting me since there are 20 cars behind you and I do not have to wait for all the cars to go by or wait for the next light. ARGGGGGHHHH!!!

I don't know! Do I STOP BEING nice? What happened to just being nice and polite to people that are just being courteous but really do not need to be?

Thanks for reading and if there is any explanation, please share. Or... if you are person that does not like being courteous back to drivers or in the shopping line, please explain why. There is nothing ode to anybody!

 

[eastofeden]

I have not found the Thank You thing to be true at all...

I think everyone I deal with says it to me..and I say it to other people....I think most everyone I see working with the public save a few unpleasant people are great...

I hold the door open for everyone...always...probably 80% of other people do the same for me...all races...all ages...

I smile... and I smile back....

Where do you live? I live in the SF Bay Area...

Having said that..I find that driving habits have become insane...I could add alot to your post..but I don't have the time...

 

[rareboy]

Never stop being nice...but remember that most food service people are being paid shit wages, no benefits and stand on their feet for hours at a time.

As far as drivers go....just be glad that they aren't so distracted that they cause an accident.

But keep saying thanks and have a good day.

 

[Vannie]

Thank you.

 

[Cormac135]

People are cunts, we can but try and be a good example to them.

 

[ballcaphair]

I do not understand why this happens. Don't just stop being nice because it's not who you are. Civility needs demonstration, so here we go. Regarding your thread, thank you.

 

[nycguydowntown]

In my opinion-- "Have a nice day-"--while sometimes annoying----is a fine response . Thank you for listening.

 

[mikey3000]

All I hear from cashiers is, "have a good one." Meh.

 

[purina]

I prefer unnecessary yakking be kept to a minimum.

 

[NotHardUp1]

"No problem." As if.

I don't thank cashiers when they don't thank me.

And I won't bag groceries. I will not check out myself either. I will not use any restaurants' self-checkout gizmo on the table, nor allow them to face me while eating.

Wages are absolutely no excuse for a lack of courtesy. It's not as if the 19th century was effusive with pay for servants or clarks. It's on the attitudes that have changed.

Courtesy is still all around us, but it is less common than it was. Stand your ground. Jump on the chance to be gracious and courteous, but where it is glaringly absent, like handing you money and saying nothing, make eye contact and say nothing in return. The message is clear.

And I never allow a cashier to be talking to anyone else, in person or phone, while dealing with my money. It's not appropriate and within the customer's control to curb.

 

[Nealm1]

I always try to be polite - if people are impolite they may be stressed out, having a bad day, or on shit wages. It costs nothing to be nice and may get you better service. Spread the love...

 

[seven2go]

Maybe being 66 years old and having lived all but two of those years in a small town makes a difference but around here I can't say I've noticed any decline in civility.
A neighboring city with a metro population of around 41,000 is a college town with an enrollment of around 10,000 students some of whom staff local businesses.
There is no difference.
People open doors for others, say thank you and you're welcome.
Life is good.......

 

[bankside]

I don't think I get thanked at the grocery store and I've always thought I get courteous professional service. I'm usually greeted with "How are you?" and I say "Fine thank you, how are you?" so nothing out of the ordinary there. I'm certain they used to say "Thank you" when you still had to hand over the credit card for them to swipe, but it hasn't worked that way for years. So when the thing is ready for the card, they say "go ahead" and I put in my card and pin, and then I'm done. The payment itself is pretty much self-serve now. They wish me a nice day, I say the same, and I'm gone with a cart of groceries.

All this while they were bagging the groceries and putting them in the cart too unless the kid is on a break or something, in which case I do it myself. I just enjoy them being friendly and getting me on my way. I don't think I need to be thanked for taking my own bags. I don't know, every thing seems courteous without a list of things they are supposed to tell me.

I did try a different grocery store, this place called Loblaws opened up, and apparently they think you will bag your own groceries using a specific number of bags you purchase from them. I think that lasted about a month and a half, and now they do it the normal way. I admit I was kind of dumbfounded the first time I saw that. Why the hell are they just letting the groceries pile up like that. And how do I know how many bags? How many bags! It was odd.

I think manners and social customs are very specific to local circumstances. As these shift, I'm not sure its with the intent of being rude. The worst was a grocery store called Safeway, where they had a list of stupid rules for being friendly to the customer: STEP ONE - MAKE EYE CONTACT etc bla bla bla. It's a bit stupid when the customer can read along with the cashier because the list is posted in plain view. I laughed once and said "You forgot STEP THREE" and it was ridiculous and we both smiled.

 

[Rickrock]

I think that "have a nice day" is sufficient and "thank you" is nice but not necessary. Drivers and people in general are less polite now days, but if you smile and are polite some of it will rub off on others, but don't expect a miracle. Anyway, I hope you feel better now that you vented.

 

[luckynumbah7]

I think manners and social customs are very specific to local circumstances. As these shift, I'm not sure its with the intent of being rude. The worst was a grocery store called Safeway, where they had a list of stupid rules for being friendly to the customer: STEP ONE - MAKE EYE CONTACT etc bla bla bla. It's a bit stupid when the customer can read along with the cashier because the list is posted in plain view. I laughed once and said "You forgot STEP THREE" and it was ridiculous and we both smiled.

Oh, I hate step three. Step three is a difficulty. There is an apparently fine line between aggressive eye contact and 'I'm paying attention' eye contact and its finer distinctions regarding timing elude me after, oh, about twenty minutes. All about the timing.

 

[xyxyxy]

I was always taught to say please and thank you, then again I'm from the old generation (i'm 39)

 

[peeonme]

I try to consider what people might be facing in their personal lives, I give the cashier a smile and try to brighten up his/her day.
A few weeks ago as I loaded my groceries onto the conveyor belt I heard the woman in front of me ask if they had organic cigarettes, the cashier replied that she had never heard of such a thing.
When I reached the cashier, I gave my typical hi, how are you today? greeting and asked if she knew if the store carried glutton free cigarettes.
We both had a good laugh. Better to light a candle....

 

[Telstra]

I do say thankyou or thanks a lot more than other people
but not on the forum

 

[bankside]

Oh, I hate step three. Step three is a difficulty. There is an apparently fine line between aggressive eye contact and 'I'm paying attention' eye contact and its finer distinctions regarding timing elude me after, oh, about twenty minutes. All about the timing.

I think step two was to ask me if I found everything. Best to act startled, like a bit of cold snow just fell off the eaves and hit you in the back of the neck. “Everything??!! Everything! Hmph?”

Step three was probably to ask me if I had the special card to scan so that they didn’t totally gouge me on prices. “Do you have the Slightly Less Ridiculous Markup Card™ today? No? Would you like to sign up? Every week we pick 15 products that don’t sell very well to stop gouging you on. You could save literally dozens of dollars per year by not paying our regularly inflated prices! And you can collect Expire Miles™ which will let you travel on any participating Expire Miles™ airline of your choice during select travel availability periods!”

 

[Thad1527]

I hear "Have a blessed day" too often. I just have to remember it's usually meant in kindness...and it wasn't specific about who or what will do the blessing.