Nobody Says "Thank You" Anymore

[medic1]

Wow, you Yanks have it cushy, people actually pack your groceries for you. Here you are lucky if the cashier does not skim your card for your details...............

 

[eastofeden]

Wow, you Yanks have it cushy, people actually pack your groceries for you. Here you are lucky if the cashier does not skim your card for your details...............

We bring in our own bags and pack our own where I live....been that way for a long time now....I think all over California....

It isn't about anyone being rude though...it is about conservation and the environment.

I like packing my own...and my husband has a bag fetish..we have a ton of cool bags (but about 100 too many). Trader Joe's has the best ones..they are insulated and have a zipper.

 

[NotHardUp1]

I'm certain they used to say "Thank you" when you still had to hand over the credit card for them to swipe, but it hasn't worked that way for years.

I think the thanking comes at the point of handing the customer the receipt, and is for shopping with them. Obviously, for chains like Kroger, it's simply a part of training cashiers. It's actually an unnatural silence if a cashier of any type is handing you the receipt without speaking, usually some courtesy. It's immaterial if it is the "have a blessed day" code, or simply "thank you."

I did try a different grocery store, this place called Loblaws opened up, and apparently they think you will bag your own groceries using a specific number of bags you purchase from them. I think that lasted about a month and a half, and now they do it the normal way. I admit I was kind of dumbfounded the first time I saw that. Why the hell are they just letting the groceries pile up like that. And how do I know how many bags? How many bags! It was odd.

The Aldi chain is that way (and some PriceChopper or similar in Connecticut when I was there), but it is one of those warehouse discount grocers where the savings is overtly marketed to be at the expense of service. The customer knows there will be no bagger, no help getting the groceries to or in the car, and less variety than the "normal" large chain grocery. And that's fine. Consumers make tradeoffs to save money, and for those very close with the grocery budget, that's great. The food isn't second quality or anything, just less expensive.

But, there is a tendency for all businesses, whether grocer or restaurant or other, to encourage the consumer to do more, to get less, and accept it as the norm, even at a time when sales are increasing and business is booming. I have no interest in discouraging entry level jobs. I started work that way at 16 and was glad to get it. Also, our teenagers would be a lot better off working at that age than they do today with so many not. It's a good part of maturation.

 

[PipeDream]

If I'm being perfectly honest, the culture of an employee thanking me for shopping with them has always felt forced and disingenuous to me and I'd feel more comfortable if a cashier were to interact with me naturally. Strike up a conversation if that's what they feel like doing. Bag my groceries mostly in silence if they don't feel like talking. I don't like the idea of somebody feeling compelled to put on a big smile and act like they give a fuck that I'm shopping there instead of anywhere else. A "how you goin?" if they're interested and a "have a nice day" sound more than fine to me and not really any sort of direct rudeness. I don't really expect them to interact with me any differently than I'd interact with any other person, and overall I just don't really vibe with the culture of expecting enthusiastic/perky employees when they're mostly just there for their paycheck as much as I'm just there for my groceries. I don't expect them to go above and beyond. If they're not being actively mean I honestly don't see a problem.

I also try not to act with the expectation of a thank you and I don't think it's sensible to discontinue behaviour due to not receiving one. When I do nice things, I do them because I think they're nice or will help in some way. I don't think it's reasonable to get all sour about it if somebody doesn't say thank you. I didn't do it for their appreciation, I did it to make things easier/better for them. Of course, I do appreciate their appreciation, but if they don't show it I just move on and continue behaving in a way that I feel makes things better/easier for the people around me. No harm has actually been done and it's better for my health to avoid frustration over small things.

And just to clarify, I do respect the fact that there are expectations of behaviour within our culture, and of course these expectations are often good and justified, but I'm also ok with them changing over time. The ways that people interact with each other have been changing since the beginning, and there are always people who are unhappy about it. I haven't witnessed any kind of death of politeness, from employees or otherwise, but I'm open to the idea that there might have been a cultural shift in what is considered polite and that I simply haven't noticed this death of politeness due to my differing expectations.

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

I don't personally see this and I've worked in retail environment for years. Though for me as a consumer, I don't really care what they say as long as they aren't being rude about it. When I shop, I'm in there to get my stuff and go, If I need help I'll find someone but otherwise I wish they'd leave me alone.

At the same time, I don't blame someone for not being on their game every given day. If I saw someone regularly at a store and they had a bad attitude or were miserable, that's one thing, but people have bad days, slip up or make mistakes and holding them accountable because your expectations weren't meant to a T every single time is unrealistic. And unfortunately that bleeds into the workforce where they expect you to give your all every day, as if people don't get tired, need to take a break and need to relax.

Cashiering can be a miserable fucking experience. I really give a lot of props for people who can keep their head up all the time when it comes to this, because when I was doing it there were days that I couldn't do it. I still kept my head up, but wasn't 100% and I wasn't rude to people but I didn't smile all the time. Dealing with the public is a gamble and there are days things work out and there are days it is just a time bomb and every person seems to have come from Planet Asshole.

Also I think there are people who tend to expect the employees to be their butlers the whole time they are in the store. Both employers and the public can have very high expectations for a job that people only get paid minimum wage for, a job people tend to look down upon. And before someone states "they could get a new job", let's not pretend that depending on some ones situation that is as easy as it sounds.

 

[tarallucci]

I am not experiencing this that much, actually there are many people abusing these manners... saying thanks too often and being overly nice. Everyone is generally and naturally courteous enough with me.

There is this peer who works at the supermarket's checkout: he is always playful with the customers and in the mood for jokes, which is cool... but just in case you have had a bad day you want to shop and leave, that becomes soon inappropriate. Among other things I guess they are chosen on their "social skills". He also throws the stuff so fast to the other side of the counter and should be fired for that

On the road I will find the usual idiot but the drivers are sufficiently polite and educated around here. When in the waiting room I see a lot of people ceding their seat to women or the elders... and these usually never accept to be polite back at them.

For how negative I am concerning the world and society I can't say I'm having problems with this.

 

[gsdx]

"No problem."

At least where I live, 'No problem' is synonymous with 'You're welcome'. It is meant to convey, 'It really was not an inconvenience.'

 

[cabsterman]

When I am in "your store" and I am purchasing something, I would expect a "thank you". Not even getting that. Just get handed the receipt and "have a nice day". It might just be that the person behind the counter is not a good fit for that position.

Now the other higher end grocery store that I frequent, the stock boys (and girls) if you ask them a question about a food item will walk you right to the item. I just tell them to let me know the aisle but they will walk over with you and point it out. The cashiers are ALWAYS friendly with a smile and a "thank you" etc. They are exceptional and very friendly. I am sure they go through a training program and do get paid more than the other larger chain store.

Look... I am not seeking a dinner and movie with the grocery store workers but just common courtesy. It's gotten to a point where they won't even look you in the eye and say anything. I guess that is why I pay higher prices at the other grocer.

 

[bankside]

If I'm being perfectly honest, the culture of an employee thanking me for shopping with them has always felt forced and disingenuous to me and I'd feel more comfortable if a cashier were to interact with me naturally. Strike up a conversation if that's what they feel like doing. Bag my groceries mostly in silence if they don't feel like talking. I don't like the idea of somebody feeling compelled to put on a big smile and act like they give a fuck that I'm shopping there instead of anywhere else. A "how you goin?" if they're interested and a "have a nice day" sound more than fine to me and not really any sort of direct rudeness. I don't really expect them to interact with me any differently than I'd interact with any other person, and overall I just don't really vibe with the culture of expecting enthusiastic/perky employees when they're mostly just there for their paycheck as much as I'm just there for my groceries. I don't expect them to go above and beyond. If they're not being actively mean I honestly don't see a problem..

Yep. This is why I had such a laugh at the “friendliness script.” Nah, thanks, skip all that.

Australia has the healthiest attitude and by far my favourite style of customer service. It’s totally relaxed and egalitarian. And it’s at the perfect midpoint between American deference and French hostility.

If you said “The customer is always right” the American would say “Certainly, of course.” The Australian would say “...well don’t get carried away, certainly sometimes...what exactly did you have in mind?” The Frenchman would bristle “We most certainly did not agree that the customer is always right in the latest round of contract talks, in fact the contract specified that the customer will be wrong at least 66.7% of the time!! I must now protest for my dignity and I join in solidarity with the other workers of the Republic on strike against this terrible exploitation!! The till is now closed! Good day!”

I think the thanking comes at the point of handing the customer the receipt, and is for shopping with them. Obviously, for chains like Kroger, it's simply a part of training cashiers. It's actually an unnatural silence if a cashier of any type is handing you the receipt without speaking, usually some courtesy. It's immaterial if it is the "have a blessed day" code, or simply "thank you."

See there it is, why shouldn’t I thank them for having all the groceries I need? The more I think about it I don’t enjoy fawning customer service really. (Edit: oh, I don’t mean to imply that saying thank you is “fawning.” But im leery of saying I’m entitled to hear it simply because they gave me groceries and I gave them money. To me friendliness on its own is a satisfactory form of politeness and it doesn’t require any particular magic words. And it certainly ought not to be a one-way obligation on the part of the store.)

Also this is fascinating that people would invoke blessings on my day. I have never heard that in my life. I’m glad I heard about it here. At some point after Trump is in jail or in exile in St Petersburg I wouldn’t mind visiting the US again and I’m certain if I heard “Have a blessed day” with no forewarning it would have stopped me in my tracks and they would have seen me dumbfounded for a second trying to puzzle out if it was satire or something. That just would not figure into daily life here, so permit me a moment of genuine culture shock before I embarrass myself at one of your registers!

But, there is a tendency for all businesses, whether grocer or restaurant or other, to encourage the consumer to do more, to get less, and accept it as the norm, even at a time when sales are increasing and business is booming. I have no interest in discouraging entry level jobs. I started work that way at 16 and was glad to get it. Also, our teenagers would be a lot better off working at that age than they do today with so many not. It's a good part of maturation.

I agree with all of that. To me there are many obvious attempts to take advantage of consumers and retrain them over time to accept less and less. The strangest thing is the welding of corporate greed for wider profit margins with eco-martyrdom and anti-materialist progressiveism. “Make do with less!” Is a message that resonates with both camps.

Anyway and yes, kids need jobs like that!

 

[JohnnyAnger]

Wow, you Yanks have it cushy, people actually pack your groceries for you. Here you are lucky if the cashier does not skim your card for your details...............

Thank fuck you said it. I was really confused at the idea of someone bagging your shit. It's just stuff going in a bag - why does someone else need to do it?

 

[bankside]

Thank fuck you said it. I was really confused at the idea of someone bagging your shit. It's just stuff going in a bag - why does someone else need to do it?

They literally have to grab the item off the counter and then scan it and then it’s still in their hand, so either they put it down on the counter, or they put it down in a bag.

I don’t know how it even saves them time or money to make you do it, not in any serious way.

 

[luckynumbah7]

They literally have to grab the item off the counter and then scan it and then it’s still in their hand, so either they put it down on the counter, or they put it down in a bag.

I don’t know how it even saves them time or money to make you do it, not in any serious way.

Properly tossed it can save (them) time bagging and the customers standing in line. Aldi's, where you buy your own bags and the cashier drops your products directly back in the cart and so then you scuttle off to the back wall to take the time to bag it yourself. Those lines moved pretty damned fast.

 

[bankside]

Properly tossed it can save (them) time bagging and the customers standing in line. Aldi's, where you buy your own bags and the cashier drops your products directly back in the cart and so then you scuttle off to the back wall to take the time to bag it yourself. Those lines moved pretty damned fast.

Including scuttling time? Still not clear that it saves me time. I feel like this is one of those moments where they teach the consumer to accept less for more. Dunno. Sounds a lot like Costco: “You know you didn’t steal anything and you know you just paid for everything, but now instead of going home you need to stop and wait for our loss prevention people to catch up.” I don’t shop there either.

 

[roadtripboy]

Here in the southern US when someone says: "Have a blessed day" instead of "Have a Good Day". it's their snotty way of telling you they're a Christian and they consider themselves better than you.

Southerners have a "talent" for being perfectly polite while putting you down. "Bless your little heart" means "You're an idiot".

 

[nyctopgam]

I find this to be true. Not just as small courtesies but even when people have personally benefitted from a favor.

 

[72-Jay]

Saying thank-you or thanks is still common where I am.

 

[Zeno Lorea]

Thank fuck you said it. I was really confused at the idea of someone bagging your shit. It's just stuff going in a bag - why does someone else need to do it?

It's common in many countries and I hate it, because it's my stuff, going in my bag, and I'm going to have to carry it as I walk or cycle. In American and Middle Eastern stores they just dump your things at random into bags that don't even come with a handle. I always get looked at funny when I say I like to pack my own bag, especially if I bring my own shopping bag. If I explain that I'm on a bicycle, out for the day on a trip to do some sightseeing in the surrounding countryside, and what I just purchased is my picknick, oh yes, then they will understand. But why should I have to explain all of this at every occasion?

 

[Pierresro]

People are cunts, we can but try and be a good example to them.

Having worked in retail through college the majority of the nasty people are the customers not the cashiers earning very little money as they do in the UK but that will be worse with the brexit shit!

 

[bankside]

If you buy a shirt and maybe some socks and a pair of jeans do you let them bag it for you or do you want to do that yourself too? Ha!

Most of them know how to bag groceries correctly, and I’m sure of this because it stands out the rare time when you get the newbie who doesn’t know. It’s my stuff. I’ve paid them the 2.6¢ it costs them to put it in the bag and I’ve been saved the hassle of bringing 10 nasty old bags to the store and carting them around for the week’s shopping.

 

[Alistair]

I heard back in the good ole days they had a seperate person that was paid to bag your groceries, AND they'd carry them out to your car for you! Those were the good ole days

I noticed when I have visited Virginia that the service was much more friendly than here in Ohio. With Thank yous and they really meant it when they asked how you were doing.