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Not being around my best friend makes me sick....

Re: Not being around my best friend makes me sick.

Well I don't know what it is...whether it's me being bisexual or me being in denial...but when I'm not looking at porn and I'm in real life, I do find girls attractive. Maybe I'm just so heavy in denial that I do that...I dunno. It's really weird because when I see a girl in porn it doesn't really do anything for me, but when I see a girl in real life it does get me somewhat excited. Of course not quite as much as guys do for me though.

I've never ever wanted to be in a relationship with a guy before until him. I have actually wanted to be in relationships with girls though, although I've never actually had a REAL GF or BF because I'm afraid of messing up friendships and stuff. If I had to label myself would it be best to just say bisexual? I mean, it's harder than some people think to know exactly what your sexual preference is.
 
Re: Not being around my best friend makes me sick.

Oh yeah...tell me about it!

Explain what you mean by excited when u see girls in real life. Are you excited sexually? Or is it more of a anxious nervous thing when you're around them?
 
Re: Not being around my best friend makes me sick.

Not usually a boner or anything...I don't usually get them from guys in public either. I just look at their boobs and butt and stuff like that and I really like the way they look and I want to...I dunno, explore them?

I'm really not that nervous around guys or girls in general...unless they are really good looking (guys or girls), then I tend to get a little nervous.


I think if anyone's gay it's this guy's brother. He always tells me he misses me, and he's always "joked around" about being bisexual and stuff. I think it's just joking...but he could be, I dunno. The guy I like acts way more straight then he does most of the time. Today he hugged me like 3 times at church, and was telling me he misses me, and he jokes around and calls me his wife lol....

So I'm starting to think that that's just how they are. I think they're probably just a very touchy feely family, and are sensitive and in touch with their emotions. I'm actually kind of hoping that this guy is straight so I can forget about him and just go on with our friendship.
 
Re: Not being around my best friend makes me sick.

Calls you his wife? I say he wants you in bed. And if you thought that was demeaning, you should confront him. What do you dream when you dream about sex? What do you think of when you masturbate? True, you may dream about or think about women from time to time, and you may think them attractive (many gay men do these things), but if it's men that makes the blood circulate through your body and give you a sense of attraction and desire, then gay is what you really are. Twenty-four years ago, my church had a seminar on sexuality for older teens. The main message was your sexuality is a gift from God and you should accept it as such. I would suggest that you dig down deep in your soul and face who you are. Don't be afraid and accept it. All of Lex's posts and others have been right on. Be true to yourself and everything else will fall into place. Relax. Some people, even your parents, may not be thrilled initially, but nothing is wrong with being attracted to members of your sex. And stand up for yourself. Most gay relationships are based on equality. There's no need for 1 person to play the role of a "wife". It's not about one person being more dominant over another. If your church is anti-gay, I would find one that is more accepting. Gay men and women are as diverse as the rainbow colors in the gay flag. There's no one type. Go out and meet some. If your friend is someone you really like, he could be the one for you for life. Have a conversation with him and find out. It seems like you are dancing around an issue that is the core of your being and who you are. Find out, to your own self be true, and embrace it.
 
Re: Not being around my best friend makes me sick.

I would say you are most definitely bisexual, but then again you should never go clamoring for labels just to do so. However, if you have sexual interest in the female, and sexual interest in the male (both of which you, apparently, do), then you would fit the bisexual card.

But you are quite right, it is hard to draw a line, and that line will only get fuzzier and squigglier before it (hopefully) clears up as you get older and wiser. I, myself, have gone through radically different periods through my journey, drifting from 'bisexual' in my youth, to what I felt was 'straight,' to what I felt was exclusively 'gay,' to, now, realizing that I am fully capable of, almost entirely equally, having emotional and sexual relationships with either gender. I am currently in a relationship with a woman, and I am satisfied sexually, however I still distinctly fantasize about, and want a man... which really sucks, but that is the rueful nature of being a bisexual person.

You should not feel any duress on your identity as a Christian, if you hold your faith deep inside and know that fire is still alight, nothing can put it out except your own false doubt. I encourage you to do some heavy reading on the subject to build a wall of confidence to both reinforce your own belief, and to give you fortitude to shake off the bullshit from your supposed brothers that are quick to throw the stone. Realize that it is the Church (the corrupt variety that has twisted the legacy of Christ to create a virulent political entity) that is trying to deteriorate your full realization of your path, and turn you into a second-class citizen just like it has done to people of color, women, those who drink, dance, whichever that particular congregation feels is 'unworthy.'

The important and wonderful thing is that that Jesus Christ fellow doesn't give two shits that you are gay, or bisexual, or whatever. It is the sinner who is humbled by that sacrifice who is the beacon of the word. God did not give you these feelings to damn you, he put them here because they are what make you you.

I do not think you are in denial; in fact, you are quite obviously very self-aware, as you can quantify your feelings easily, and you are ready to admit your deep relationship with your friend. And as far as that goes, you are simply in love with this guy... what that means to you and what you are going to do about it relies on... well... you.

The advice you have gotten from the other members has been more than enough on this subject.
 
Re: Not being around my best friend makes me sick.

you know your problem? you're too obsessed with the label of "gay" & "straight." i believe that sexuality is fluid, and isn't determined by "I like things with penises" or "i like things with vaginas." i think sexuality is governed by individual tastes & influence, and i believe that it is possible for a "straight" guy to fall in love with a boy, and vice versa etc.
 
Re: Not being around my best friend makes me sick.

Hey, silpmn, give us an update! You got some really great advice in this thread.
 
Re: Not being around my best friend makes me sick.

Sry guys...I've been really, really busy and stuff lately. ANd yeah Lube, I have gotten great advice ^_^. Thanks guys.

The trip to Baltimore ended up not being an overnight thing, so nothing happened.

You guys probably aren't going to like what I have to say in this post, because I've made some decisions that I know most of you won't agree with.

Anyway, my relationship with God is more important to me than my sexuality. I'm not a bisexual...I am Matt. I like anime, video games, I'm a nerd, I like photography, I like people, I have problems with depression, I am unhappy with the way my body looks...I am myself, and I my sexuality just happens to be somewhere around the label, "bisexual". That does not run my life, just like a straight or gay person's sexuality should not run their life.

I love God, I love my church, I love Christ, I love Christianity. I made several decisions, some recently, and some a long time ago. I am not going to have sex before marriage. Recently I have decided that (and this is where people may disagree) I will not have any sort of relationship with a guy, nor do anything sexually with anyone but my wife. I believe that God wants me to be happy, and I believe that he will provide me with a wife who I love and am more attracted to than anyone else in this world.

My sexuality and stuff has been literally eating me up inside recently. I've been having depression, anxiety, and physical problems such as breathing problems, and stomach pain/nausea. I know that most of that comes from my physiological mental unstableness that runs heavily in my family, but I know that my sexuality and internal battles are adding tremendously to it.

I felt God putting on my heart recently that I should tell my best friend (the one referred to in the thread title) about my sexuality. I had no idea why God would tell me to do this...honestly I couldn't think of any reason really why telling him could possibly benefit me or him. But I've been talking with people a lot lately about stuff, and I've decided that I'm going to try my hardest to just trust God and do what He says even if it doesn't make sense to me. I've realized that throughout my life, doing things God wanted me to has always ended up doing something amazing in my life, and I realized that it's stupid for me to think that He doesn't know what He's doing and what's best for me.

So today I was feeling super depressed and stuff and thinking about telling my best friend about my sexuality. And like I said, this guy is amazing. I feel like I can trust him more than anyone else in the whole entire world, and I've even told him this and he told me the same thing. Also keep in mind that we've really only known each other for half a year. And we've talked about our friendship, and we both really do believe that God has put us in each other's lives to do wonderful things to help us grow as friends, as people, and as Christians.

Anyway, I was questioning God as usual and thinking that I shouldn't tell him tonight even though I was going to be seeing him anyway. And then, he called me RIGHT after he got out of work saying he had a bad day and stuff. I was in Wal-Mart at the time, but still we talked on the phone for like 20 minutes just about work and life and what fun stuff we wanted to do. We don't usually talk on the phone that much really, but remember this is not long at all after I was doubting I should tell him. So yeah, that basically was a clear sign from God...God was telling me that it would be okay if I told him tonight, and that He knows what He is doing.

I texted him right after we talked and told him that I needed to talk about some stuff. I asked him to promise me that he would listen to all I had to say, and that he would still be my friend. He told me "of course!" and stuff like that, and he was being really nice and asking me if I wanted to call him and go ahead and talk about it even though we would see each other that night. I just told him I'd rather talk to him in person, and he was saying how it was making him really anxious and worried, because he is the best friend I've ever had and he was genuinely worried about me and wanted to help me.

[Takes a breath] Sorry this is so long -_-.

So tonight when we were supposed to see each other he had to go to something at a church right down from my other friends' house. I went to my friend's house because that's where we were going to hang out tonight, and he actually came over a little before the thing at the church. We didn't talk about it then, but we just hung out and chilled for a little bit until he had to go to the church. And of course the whole time I was with him we were having fun...but of course it was kind of awkward for both of us cuz I was so quiet and he of course wanted to know what was wrong. But we had fun anyway. (P.S. We are both quiet people, and we have such a good connection that it's not awkward when it's quiet...but it was a little different this time for obvious reasons.)

Then I hung out with my other friend for a painful and anxiety-filled 3 hours until my best friend was done at the church. Then finally he came over to my friends'. We all were sitting on the couch and he was sitting next to me. He kept nudging me and asking me if I wanted to go talk now and stuff...of course I was so anxious and nervous that I didn't want to at first. But then finally we went outside and stood on the steps to talk.

This was it...I have never EVER talked about my sexuality to ANYONE (except on these forums). I was questioning God, my heart was pounding, I was sweating, I couldn't make eye contact, and I was quiet and couldn't talk right. He just kept asking me "Okay man, what's wrong?" and I was just kind of avoiding it. I kept saying that I didn't really want to talk about it because it was "weird" and that I'm scared. I think he knew for a long time after I kept saying it was "weird" that it had something to do with my sexuality.

We then sat down on the steps next to each other. It wasn't a romantic moment...but it was a sort of...connected moment. I dunno how to explain it. I kept trying to say it, and he kept asking me. There was so much silence...but it wasn't awkward because I guess he knew how serious it was and that it must be hard. He kept telling me that it can't be that bad, and that he wouldn't stop being my friend for any reason. I kept saying "Well...I think...." and stuff like that where I would try to say it, but just couldn't. And he must've had an idea of what I was trying to say, because he was telling me stuff like that God makes us all the way we are for a reason and stuff like that. And I was surprised at the combination of him seeming to know what I was going to say, and his comfort with the whole thing.

Eventually I just said "I think...that I'm...bisexual." And he didn't do anything weird, he didn't get up and leave, he didn't tell me I was a bad person, he didn't laugh, he didn't make fun of me...nothing. He was fine. I told him that I think I've made the right decisions with it, and he said "What have you decided to do?" I told him that I wanted to do what God wanted me to do, and that that was final. I also explained that I've always been that way, and that I never chose to be that way. I told him that I have never had sex (or even had a relationship actually) with a guy OR a girl (which is true, that wasn't a lie). I told him that I do not want a relationship with a guy, that I believe God will provide a wife that will make me happy.

He was just kind of like, "See? I knew it wasn't even that big of a deal!" My biggest fear out of my whole sexuality issues was losing this guy as a friend. And here he is, completely accepting me. And listen to this...he said that he would be with me and support me all along the way, and through life. And then to make things even more amazing, he said he wanted to pray with me. He put his arm on me and began to pray for me. And it wasn't a condemning prayer...he didn't even mention my sexuality in the prayer. He told God how thankful he was for me, how much he appreciates me, thanking Him for how brave I was, praying that He would help me in my life, etc.

One of the most touching moments tonight...and actually ever in my life was that he was crying as he was praying. He is the kind of person (and he told me this too) who NEVER cries in front of other people. Even if he is feeling extreme emotion he would not cry, he would repress it. But tonight being with me and praying for me and just feeling our friendship was enough emotion that he could not contain it.

After that we talked about other stuff, and problems he was having as if everything was the same. He told me that it wasn't that big of a deal and that nothing is going to change, nothing's going to be awkward or anything, and that basically he only had more respect for me now and stuff.

I am 100% sure that if we was even the slightest bit gay that he would've said it too. I never mentioned my feelings for him, but I think saying I was bisexual and stuff would have been enough for him to come out back to me. Since he didn't, I now know that he is straight, and that he doesn't have romantic feelings for me. Now I can finally start to get over him...slowly, but I can now knowing that there's basically zero chance of us. I actually think it's better that he didn't have feelings for me...if he did, I do not think I could've kept my vow of living a "straight" life...either that or we would've decided we couldn't be friends because it was too much of a temptation.

After all this, we just went back in and we acted completely normal and had fun. He didn't stay much longer cuz he basically just came by just for the purpose of talking with me, but the time we had with our friends was completely normal, and tons of fun.

Right now I think I'm at the point where I don't really realize how wonderful this is. I'm feeling less depressed already...and I have this weird happiness I'm not used to having. Right now it just seems surreal that I actually said to someone that I was bisexual. It probably won't hit me until the morning that I actually did that...I still am thinking it was just a dream and that it didn't actually happen lol. I'm sure you all understand the feeling of relief and surreality.


I think this can be a testament to how wonderful God is. Because I did what God wanted me to do, even though it didn't make ANY sense to me, and what did I get out of it?
-An extreme increase in my friendship level with my best friend
-A closer relationship with God
-A huge relief
-Decrease in depression
-Increase in happiness
-A sense of comfort
-Lots more good stuff ^_^

Even though this was only like 3 - 4 hours ago I am ALREADY getting over him in a romantic way. I really think that I wasn't feeling a romantic relationship...but that I was feeling an incredible friendship greater than anything I have ever experienced in this life. And even if I was having romantic feelings for him...why would I want anything different from what I have with him now? I think we have a friendship that people should be jealous of. I kind of start to think that if God can bring this guy into my life who I have an amazing connection with, I wonder what kind of a woman he can bring into my life. It He is as faithful with giving me a wife as He is with giving me friends like this guy...then I think she would even be enough to make a gay guy straight lol.


I apologize for the EXTREMELY long post...but I feel like it was necessary. God is wonderful, and I believe that maybe out of this could even come someone here either accepting Christ or reviving their faith in God. All of this...from me listening to what my God told me to do even when it didn't make sense to me. Thank you all for the advice, and I hope you have enjoyed my [long] story ^_^.
 
Re: Not being around my best friend makes me sick.

I read every word of your post.

And I am deeply saddened.

I fought the same battle you did. Until I was 43.

Forty-three fucking years old.

And then I stopped fighting.

I finally accepted myself for who I was.

Fuck my family. Fuck religion. Fuck society. Fuck my friends.*

I am who I am, and no one is going to stop me.

But that's just me.

You have your own life to live. May you one day come to accept yourself for who you are.





*--as it turns out, no one rejected me. Not family, not friends, not coworkers. They are good people.
 
Re: Not being around my best friend makes me sick.

You said that you felt that your pain an anxiety was a sign from God that you should tell your friend about your situation.

It seems that you were motivated enough by your pain that you took that as a sign for action and did something. And I'm glad you did.

I think you're a good person. My only advise to you is to always keep an open mind about the future. You never know what signs you may receive that may suggest that you should change your path.

Please don't hold onto your envisioned future so hard that you miss God's signs for change.

And this has nothing to do with sexuality in particular.
 
Re: Not being around my best friend makes me sick.

I sincerely hope that all you say is true, and that you find a happy and rewarding life for yourself.

Lex
 
Re: Not being around my best friend makes me sick.

Thank you guys ^_^. If it weren't for you I probably would've never talked to him about this.

I still have some depression problems, but I think any depression that is left comes from my physiological unstableness. It might not be easy all the time, but I'm starting to accept myself more and more. I think the reasoning is that since my best friend who I want to be like can accept me, then I can accept myself.
 
Re: Not being around my best friend makes me sick.

Slipmn,

I'm so happy for you. Religiously speaking, I'm I'm the same place you are. I'm a devout christian too who happens to be bi and I have vowed to not have sex until marriage. I believe that God has blessed my life in so many ways. Like you, I believe that God brought my best friend and I together, just for a different purpose from you. I had prayed for so long for a friend that I could trust, who would care about me, and be loyal to me. I think God answered my prayers at a point in time when I most needed it. God works to better our lives by blessing us with the things and people we need. You should thank God for your friend. He is a blessing for you that should not ever be taken for granted. I came to Chris and he was as supportive to me as our friend was for you, and our friendship is very strong and I can't imagine my life without him. You are so lucky to have someone like that for yourself.

God bless,
Vulture
 
Re: Not being around my best friend makes me sick.

Oh goodness, you poor thing. I wish I would have found this thread awhile ago. I was in a similar position. Really good friend that was a guy...a very strong connection to the point where we didn't need to speak...and in my case it would physically hurt when he wasn't around. It got so bad that we even stopped talking. I saw him tonight for the first time in over two months, and it sucked. I understand a lot of what you went through, and I respect your personal beliefs, but I just want to say this.
I believe that God wants us all to be happy. If being with a guy will make you happy, then I'm pretty sure that God is fine with that. I believe in God, but I don't believe every single word of the bible. Why? Because it wasn't written by God, it was written by people...and people always put a lot of their own beliefs into the things they write. And then, you have to take into account how much it was butchered by the Roman-catholics (No offense to anyone who is Roman-Catholic). It's all a gray area, and honestly it shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks. Personally, i would have chosen the guy in your situation. I would have been thrilled if my guy had felt that way, but he's stubborn and continues to deny who he is. All in all, you need to do what's right for you, and if what you did is that, then congratulations, but if you have even a sliver of doubt, or you ever find yourself asking "what if..." then I suggest that you rethink your choice. This is the best advice i've ever gotten.
"Try to live your life with as few regrets as possible."
I offer it to you now.
Good luck, and I hope that you make the choices that are right for you
 
Re: Not being around my best friend makes me sick.

Silpmn, I read your post, too and wish you all the best in your journey. Your friend sounds supportive and that is a very good friend. It is true you are Matt and even though you are feeling better today, you may still have struggles and may need to make other decisions about yourself. Just remember that you were made in God's image and you do not need to fight against something and tear yourself up inside physically and emotionally. I'm bothered by the statement that you are unhappy with the way your body looks. There are ways to change that and your journey may take you there as well. I hope so.
 
Re: Not being around my best friend makes me sick.

It's not that I'm letting religion run my life. I am CHOOSING to follow God directly and do what he tells me. I DO try to live by the Bible, but I go by what God tells me to do. And for those of you who don't believe in God I know that's hard to understand...but I really can feel what God wants and he does speak directly (not verbally) to me sometimes.

Thank you vulture...and yes, I thank God for this friend every single day.

I know that I WOULD be happy if I could have something more with this guy. But the thing is that I think God knows what he's doing in this situation...because if this guy was gay or bi and wanted a relationship sure I'd be really happy, but I can guarantee that the relationship wouldn't last, and then I'm sure we wouldn't be able to be friends after that. And even if it did last...I think I would actually miss just being friends and just hanging out with him.

So now basically my only problem is the one that there are already 50 other threads for lol. Basically now I have on my hands the classic "in love with my best friend dilemma". Now that I know he is straight, I can try my hardest to get over any romantic feelings I have for him, and get back to just being close friends. Like I said, I think I already am getting over him a little romantically now that I know there is zero chance...but I am being realistic and realizing that it will take a long time, but I know that with the help of my God I can do it.

I don't have as much of the problem of feeling sick when I'm not around him anymore. I still do, but not as much and not as severe. Right now I think my main battle in life is just my depression in general. I think this friend is my greatest gift from God to conquer this. My greatest struggle is learning to take one day at a time. It says something to that extent in the Bible too, so it's a spiritual concept as well as a modern psychological concept...so there must be some grounds to that. The hard part is disciplining my mind and body to do that (take one day at a time)...but I'm working on that. Today I woke up feeling really sick and depressed, but I'm still going to go do my plans of hanging out with my friends (not the one from the thread title, my other friends) and I'm going to try to not let my depression run my life.
 
Re: Not being around my best friend makes me sick.

wow i am honestly surprised about some advice this guy is getting and some of these comments have a disrespectful tone towards this guys religion, i hope you werent offended silpmn.

seems like you have made up your mind about some things, but it seems like you rush to these decisions. you dont have to make any decisions for anyone but yourself. in your last post you said you are straight, but in an earlier one you said why do you have to be labeled gay/bi because you dont like to be labeled. now you just labeled yourself straight, so let me ask you this, do you think you really didnt want to be labeled or do you not like the stigma attached to the gay/bi label? ugh label this, label that, why does there have to be any? i dont think you do have to label yourself, you dont have to make this decision now, as you said yourself, it doesnt define you. your sexuality is just a part of your personality as a whole. humans have the innate need to label things to help us understand things and communicate better.

you are still young you dont have to decide anything, you arent expected to know yourself, you are still learning. seems like you might be rushing and you dont have to. even when youre older, youre still learning about yourself. look at many of these guys that are giving you advice. however i am not going to assume anything about your sexuality or your friend's, i can speculate, but thats for you to decide.

from what i know, it seems like i can be difficult to live comfortably with both religion and homosexuality. seems like the two can easily be in disagreement and you wont be happy until some way you can get the two in agreement, which im not saying is impossible, but difficult, and likely result in one or the other being dropped. if you can balance the two in your life, great for you. i was raised catholic, but i dont practice anymore and just to let you know that choice wasnt influenced by my sexuality. if you wouldnt mind sharing, i would like to know how you think a gay person could juggle both religion and sexuality.

like i said im not assuming anything, but i hope you arent lying to yourself.
 
Re: Not being around my best friend makes me sick.

Words, words, words.

Sometimes we use them to convince others.

Sometimes to convince ourselves.

I can guarantee that God doesn't care who you fuck. If you believe in the almighty power of God, then you have to accept that you are made as you are for a purpose, not as a freak or as a punishment. Even the Holy See acknowledges that being a homo is God given. To deny your natural self may seem like a sacrifice that elevates your soul and proves your selflessness before God. It is the opposite.

One can only hope that you are happy and at peace with yourself and with your idea of your God and that you won't damage anyone along the way.
 
Re: Not being around my best friend makes me sick.

I'm a jew, and I'm not very orthodox, so maybe I'm trying to connect on two very different levels...but here goes: God made you the way you were, I'm assuming you believe that. God also doesn't want you do be unhappy.

Why then would god make you bisexual and not want you to be with men. Maybe you'll find a woman that you love with whom you can have children. Maybe you'll find a man with whom you fall in love. Whatever you believe, you must believe that god wants you to be happy, because then you can do whatever makes you happy.

If deep down in the bottom of your soul you know that you love a woman and that she'll make you happy forever: Go for it. Don't skip on hapiness though because of what you think God wants.

>_<
 
Re: Not being around my best friend makes me sick.

For the life of me, I cannot understand fundamentalist Christianity. And I grew up in a family directly influenced by it. In Biblical times, men typically had more than one wife. Abraham had sex with his wife's slave because she doubted God. Sure, Abraham was "punished," but he's still seen as the patriarch of the Old Testament. If your daughter was found to no longer be a virgin, you were morally obligated to stone her to death. Moreover, the Old Testament language is also rather vague on the subject of homosexuality. Modern-day Christians also don't abide by most Kosher laws and the other hundreds of commandments which are laid out in the Pentateuch. Why is this?

I don't consider myself a devout Christian and God-lover just because I see how much hate some self-obsessed and misguided Christians and "Soldiers of God" harbor in themselves and their communities, but I just can't believe that Jesus Christ would have thought this way. The worst problem is that humans interpret it. And we pick and choose what we want to emphasize and what we would rather leave out. Jesus Christ was all about changing people's views and challenging the status quo. He hung out with tax collectors and cared about lepers and the disabled. He called the hypocrites out. I find it scary that I'm about to say this, but...what would Jesus do if he were placed in our world, with modern-day homosexuality? I honestly don't think that Jesus would condemn it. Far from it. HIS greatest commandments were first to love God with all your heart, mind, and soul and second to love your neighbor as yourself. With such an emphasis on love, I find it dubious that he'd propagate hate. If anyone would, it would be Paul, but I can't get started on that guy. I really have a bone to pick with him.

To boil it down...once upon a time (I'm only 21, but it feels so long ago), I was more or less in this situation. I was not in love with my best friend, but I knew I could be gay. And what did I think? I thought that it was something that God put in my life to challenge me and to make me stronger. But is God really that sadistic to create someone IN HIS IMAGE to be gay and have him struggle his whole life long because it's "wrong"? The answer which I came up with: NO. Now, you can refute all I've said all you want, but I'm a very logical and fact-oriented person (it's just the way my brain works), and I'll probably argue with you every step of the way. People are wont to say that God is love. A God who is loving would not be so cruel. That's really what it comes down to: struggling against your sexuality is agonizingly cruel. The whole "waiting for marriage" thing is up to you, though I'd like to see where it says in the Bible though that you shouldn't have sex before you're married. I currently live in a state where homosexuals are not even allowed to get married, so I guess I either move or don't ever have sex. Well, I've already made my choice. But the fact remains, is it really up to God to decide when and if you're allowed to have sex? That's just petty. I cannot imagine a world where that minute detail is important. Do you really believe that having sex before "marriage" will throw you directly in hell? My uncle wouldn't step foot in my church because he's way radically fundamentalist and said it would "jeopardize his immortal soul." It just gets to be ridiculous at some point. Just live your life! For someone so unwilling to put a label on his sexuality, you sure have built yourself a nice, cozy box to live in.

And don't think that I'm being mean or spiteful. I'm just trying to open your eyes. Or at least show you that there ARE other views. That was the biggest thing for me. To know that other people thought differently really sealed the deal for me. That and I don't believe God would create 4 billion other people (i.e. non-Christians) just to send them straight to hell.

That's just my two cents. Hope you get some insight out of it.
 
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