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Not in to "Wham, Bam, Thank you man"

3

3x3is9

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I feel like I'm the exception to the rule. I'm not out there looking for a sex partner, and maybe finding someone I like. I want to find someone I like, and then maybe think about having sex with them. It just seems like there's all this pressure to have sex, or fool around, or even just make out... What about getting to know someone first?

Am I caught in some fantasy world? Should I abandon this silly concept of social interaction?
 
^ NO! You're not living in a fantasy world. You have your own views regarding sex and even though it may sometimes seem like you're the only one, there are others out there who feel the same way. The majority may be looking for a quick fuck, but there are definitely guys out there who are looking for more.

Don't feel yourself pressurised into having sex if you don't want to. If you want to, then go for it, but do it on your terms. :)
 
No, there are a lot more like you. And you're all feeling frustrated because you're not finding guys. And that is because you're all sitting at home in front of the computer instead of getting out there and meeting as many guys as you can in the real world. And when you are out there, you're usually so shy and reserved that you're afraid to talk to the guys you might find interesting.

Obviously sex isn't a big thing for you. But it can be a great icebreaker.

Keep looking and be open to making as many friends as possible. Somewhere in that batch is the guy of your dreams.
 
rareboy said:
No, there are a lot more like you. And you're all feeling frustrated because you're not finding guys. And that is because you're all sitting at home in front of the computer instead of getting out there and meeting as many guys as you can in the real world. And when you are out there, you're usually so shy and reserved that you're afraid to talk to the guys you might find interesting.
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Generalisations and thinly-veiled judgments. Charming.
Not to mention quite untrue.
 
I wasn't aware that you can't have both. :D
 
3x3is9 said:
I feel like I'm the exception to the rule. I'm not out there looking for a sex partner, and maybe finding someone I like. I want to find someone I like, and then maybe think about having sex with them. It just seems like there's all this pressure to have sex, or fool around, or even just make out... What about getting to know someone first?

Am I caught in some fantasy world? Should I abandon this silly concept of social interaction?
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I'm always amused at the sheer number of guys who say this. Y'all need to start dating each other.
 
KaraBulut said:
I wasn't aware that you can't have both. :D
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Because it's not special unless your in lovey love of the purest kind, all pastel bunnies and rainbows.

Right. I don't see what the OP's issue is, if he doesn't like casual sex, don't have it. End of problem.
 
TX-Beau said:
Because it's not special unless your in lovey love of the purest kind, all pastel bunnies and rainbows.

Right. I don't see what the OP's issue is, if he doesn't like casual sex, don't have it. End of problem.
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I guess I like my lovey love all hot and sweaty.

Love the rainbows, though.
 
Yeah, I'm a big fan of hot and sweaty too, I'm also a big fan of having a good time along the way.

Call me callous, but I don't think that there's anything wrong with fucking around if you're single and horny.
 
TX-Beau said:
Yeah, I'm a big fan of hot and sweaty too, I'm also a big fan of having a good time along the way.

Call me callous, but I don't think that there's anything wrong with fucking around if you're single and horny.
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You missed my point.

OP seems to be contrasting getting to know someone versus having great sex.

My point- note my status over there to the left- is that ideally you should have both things in the same person but one of them doesn't always have to precede the other.
 
I'll romance you as long as you like without sex (months even). Sure i'd want it, but I'm patient :)
 
KaraBulut said:
You missed my point.

OP seems to be contrasting getting to know someone versus having great sex.

My point- note my status over there to the left- is that ideally you should have both things in the same person but one of them doesn't always have to precede the other.
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Yup I missed your point, but I don't think we disagree anyway.
 
There are plenty of guys like you. You need to look in the right places for them. If you are using personal ads, put your feelings in the ads. It will greatly reduce your number of responses, but the responses you receive will be much better fits for you.

You should also join some gay groups. Depending on where you live, there are probably a number of gay groups in your area. If you are into the outdoors, there may be a group for that. If you are a singer, there is probably a gay choir. There are gay churches, sports teams, social groups, etc. Do not join the groups for the sole reason of finding a mate. Join the groups to have fun. Given that you will be surrounding yourself with people with interests similar to yours, there is a good chance that you will find a mutual attraction.
 
TX-Beau said:
Yup I missed your point, but I don't think we disagree anyway.
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We do agree.

I just wanted to make sure- since I'm a regular around here- that it was clear that while I'm pro-sex, I'm also pro-relationship and pro-monogamy.
 
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