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  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

Not really sure there's a solution or advice but need to vent.

So...now what? Are you over and beyond him? Or do you wait until the next time you're in the same proximity, and see what happens?

Lex
 
I think it's healthier for me to accept that I'm never going to be over him but at the same time realize that he will never return my feelings. It sucks but such is life i guess.
 
DarrenS said:
Yeah the thing is, were i sober my reaction would have been much worse and telling the friend, as much of a risk as it was, helped me get over it faster. So I'm still crediting my successful failure to alcohol.
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Sigh. I wish I could leave it alone, but I can't.

I'll just say, DarrenS, that this is said with care and genuine concern--you rationalize very well your actions while drinking, even turning getting drunk into a success. IMHO, that's not a good thing. It's probably a waste of time to gently warn someone who owned a precious flask of the dangers of mixing alcohol and gay drama, but I'm doing it anyway. Please be careful.
 
Your concern is duly noted and appreciated. The only reason I credit my success to my drunkenness was that if I was sober I wouldn't have even freaked out when i was by myself. I would have just kept it inside indefinately because I'm not good with guys and the expressing of my feelings by myself of with others (hence why my flask said "Liquid Courage" on it). Were this situation to involve a girl I would not have drank because that usually ends badly, but because there was no danger of this guy being a jerk or anything I genuinely believe that us being drunk was a much better way to go about it.
 
G-Lexington said:
Are you going to see him again?

Lex
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Who knows, he goes to school an hour from where I do but he's on winter break and I live like a block from his best friend. I'm not going to actively seek him out to hang out but if he's in the same place as me I might as well try to enjoy the relationship we do have.
 
Or you could facebook message him, tell him you're looking for someone to go see Avatar 3D (or some other movie) with, and you thought it would be cool to hang out again and catch up.

Not saying you should do that, but you could.
 
Accept the fact that you had a junior high school crush. You are not 14 anymore. Time to grow up.
 
Killjoke said:
Or you could facebook message him, tell him you're looking for someone to go see Avatar 3D (or some other movie) with, and you thought it would be cool to hang out again and catch up.

Not saying you should do that, but you could.
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I really do like that idea but due to the already semi-awkward nature of our relationship I feel like that wouldn't be the best move ever. Idk, I'm going to see how the next two weeks go while he's still here and see if we hang out or if I see him at all for that matter but whatever. As bad as it felt on new years, or the next day...or the day after, I'm already getting over it so whatever happens I can live with it.
 
Well, that IS a healthy way to look at it, actually. Good luck with the next two weeks. (*8*)
 
You're growing up.... and all the experiences you have, no matter if you live to regret them or not, are going to flavor and shape the rest of your life...

Was not telling the crush the right thing?

Was telling the friend about it all the right thing?

Who can say?

All that is important is that you are able to live with the decisions you make. Learn your lessons when you are wrong, and celebrate your success as you come into it...

Just look forward to all the adventure life could hold, and go have fun.

Was I too late? Is this thread done? Ugh, I'm always late. !oops!
 
DarrenS said:
I think it's healthier for me to accept that I'm never going to be over him but at the same time realize that he will never return my feelings. It sucks but such is life i guess.
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OK this is wading back into that gay drama. Let's look at this in the grand scheme of things. You're 18, never is a long, long, time and I guarantee you, that you'll get over him, and in another four years won't be able to remember what he looks like.

It's a sign of being young that one thinks every infatuation is purest love never to be had ever, ever again, the most vivid, the most enduring - but to be horribly blunt, you had an adolescent crush on this guy four years ago that you seem to have wished into something more. Trust me on this, you'll end up feeling that way again, and again, and again until hopefully you find someone you want to live out your life with. Someone who's not an unattainable relic from high school.

And really, what do you have to pine over? He didn't ask you out, you never dated, you're not even friends, just acquaintances. Before you let your infatuation run away with you, it might be prudent to evaluate this in the light of what was really there, which was all one sided, not realized, not returned, and four years in the past.

Is there any need to keep up with this guy, or freak out if you see him again? What really is going to happen if you do?

Is this drama, for drama's sake?
 
10 years from now, you'll find out that this guy came out of the closet after getting married.

But he's just not ready now. Move on.
 
So I guess outwardly I had a great night but inside i was a 14 year old again
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And there's the thing. It sounds like you behaved like a 14 year old.

You're not anymore.

Stop being angry. And jealous.

It isn't becoming for an adult male.
 
^Yea I'm sorry but I found the flask-destroying tantrum on the way home quite disturbing. Good luck to you but you need to find mature ways to handle disappointment. This is not the end of the world.
 
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