Nothing good in NY, LI

[loudmeownow]

SO i have been looking on personals sites to see if I can find anyone worth chatting up with and find friends if not more online that could lead to more. And thus far nothing i have found is worth anything. Most sites you have to pay for, which blows [in the bad way that is] and the supposed free ones are so limited that you barely can do anything.

I don't do bars.. for the simple fact that I am not fully out, but also the fact that i am just not into bars to begin with, nor do I expect to find anyone of substance for me at a bar. No freinds of mine have other gay freind to introduce me to.

Most of the guys I have spoken to online make it very clear, very quickly i might add, that they want to talk about sex right away.

I guess I am more venting then anything.

Everything is about sex it seems with all the gay guys i talk to on line. Hell even here more then hald the posts are about sex or this guy is hot or that guys is hot.

Bah!

Its like the gay community is a joke, no wonder its made fun of so much... no wonder I don't like fully connecting myself to it.

whatever

 

[Jeimuzu]

I don't see it as a joke. I see it as the most serious thing in my life. What matters more than love? And my homosexuality will have a total affect on my love life.

I don't particularly like sex, either. Getting blowjobs is nice, but frankly anal, what little experience I have up there is painful as hell, and I don't particularly like sucking cock. It's not too bad, but it'll take me a while to get used to the taste. I'd be happy if all the intimate contact I had was hugging and kissing. But then again, I'm an incurable romantic.

Just go with the flow, you'll find someone eventually. These things happen.

Woo! 250'th post!

 

[loudmeownow]

when I say gay community i don't mean poeople who are gay... i mean the whole mentality of "hi, a/s/l."

I am gay but not part of the gay community. Everyone sees gay men as horny men who pretty much go around looking for sex anywehre they can and from who ever they can... and i am not inclined to disagree.

I been on websites that everything is just about having sex, like people looking for it and thats it. Chat rooms.. they only talk sex... one would think gay men are not capable to doing or thinking about anything else.. and the ones who can seem to be a rare type.

 

[Inwood]

Hey there,

I know what you mean, but trust me, the gay scene on LI has gotten much better than it was 10 or 15 years ago. I agree that a lot of the time its a meat market, but I've also met a lot of good friends here on the island in the past few years. Usually it's been through other friends, but my partner and I have also met some good people on Fire Island in the summer.

 

[loudmeownow]

well i wouldn't know anything about a "scene" since i don't do bars or clubs which I assume is the center point a of a scene.

 

[Inwood]

yeah, its kinda hard to not have a scene without bars or clubs. Then again, there's LIGALY, and there's also Gay Long Island newspapers which can be found in Borders bookstores. I'm sure they have listings of gay singles groups, meetups, etc. that don't revolve around bars.

 

[RicanDAB]

What about those mainstream dating sites like match.com or the Yahoo personals. Aren't those full of guys looking for a real substantial relationship? Perhaps posting your own where you specifically state what you are looking for (and what you are not) ... so that way you are in control of who will respond (to some degree). It's a start. Your chances are highest that most guys are looking for hookups at the bars and even higher (duh, close to 100%) when you are on a site like men4sexnow.

 

[loudmeownow]

Yeah I am on there... but that costs money... so its like a matter of which site do I give the money to. And if I give the money to one will I have a better chance on another.. not to mention that aren't all that cheap all the time.

 

[slobone]

^^^ I agree that at some point, you're going to have to make a commitment in some form, whether it's money or time or energy, if you want to meet worthwhile people.

I'm not really clear what you're looking for. If it's sex, why do you object to people talking about it? True, gay men do have a way of getting to the point a little bit quicker than you might like. But you don't have to go along just because they want you to.

If you answer an online personal from a gay who looks promising, and he wants to know whether you want to have sex, just say "I can't possibly decide that until we've met in person and gotten to know each other a little." If that makes him lose interest, he's not for you.

As for friendship -- you also say you're not part of the gay community. But where else is a gay man supposed to go to find gay friends? You don't have to go to bars or clubs if you don't want. I can't believe that in New York, there aren't tons of other ways to meet people.

Incidentally, I'm sure you know there are all kinds of bars. Some are just monster scenes with hundreds of people dancing and shouting to be heard over the loud music. Others are much quieter, neighborhood places where people actually get to know each other. Why not experiment a little bit?

(What's a/s/l?)

 

[loudmeownow]

WEll i am not big on bars in general sinc ei don't drink. I am 27 and on long island.. I don't even like the city much either.
So it seems to have some kind of Gay social life i have to turn my world upside down.
What i am looking for? a guy who happens to like guys.
As far as chatting with a guy and telling him I don't want to talk about sex yet... well having them bring it up too soon, not only is it a turn off, its also pushy, if the person at the supermarket line ain;t gonna ask me.. why should someone who I am just meeting... and as far as the sex talking being in straight chats.. i don't go there so i wouldn;t know.. and when I did go to chat rooms in the past.. the non gay ones wheren't about sex.. so OK i am a prude.. lol
my sex life is MY sex life and i hate people getting asking me questions in general about my size.. jeez.. only person who needs to know is me and the person i am gonna be with
And the gay meeting places... well i haven;t done that but then againi don't know anyone who has... I do have gay friends who are not invovled in any of that stuff but they are older and from a time when NY was much more open to a night time scene before 9/11

how bout you guys hook me up!. lol j/k

 

[loudmeownow]

I hate it when others are right!

 

[RicanDAB]

I used to live in NYC and believe me, you don't know how many opportunities you have as a gay man there until you leave it behind. Part of me is hoping I can return someday and appreciate what I once took for granted!

 

[Alive and Free]

As another gay guy from LI I can completely understand.

 

[loudmeownow]

thanx Alive & Free

 

[wentworth]

SO i have been looking on personals sites to see if I can find anyone worth chatting up with and find friends if not more online that could lead to more. And thus far nothing i have found is worth anything. Most sites you have to pay for, which blows [in the bad way that is] and the supposed free ones are so limited that you barely can do anything.

I don't do bars.. for the simple fact that I am not fully out, but also the fact that i am just not into bars to begin with, nor do I expect to find anyone of substance for me at a bar. No freinds of mine have other gay freind to introduce me to.

Most of the guys I have spoken to online make it very clear, very quickly i might add, that they want to talk about sex right away.

I guess I am more venting then anything.

Everything is about sex it seems with all the gay guys i talk to on line. Hell even here more then hald the posts are about sex or this guy is hot or that guys is hot.

Bah!

Its like the gay community is a joke, no wonder its made fun of so much... no wonder I don't like fully connecting myself to it.

whatever

Get offline. Fast.
You'll never be happy until you are.