Now that you're out...

[screwnutty]

No. Things happened the way they did for a reason. If you could go back and change your past, then it would also change the person you've become today. Mistakes help us to live life to the fullest. Mistakes and past deeds define the person we are today. There's no such thing as a perfect way to handle anything in life. Otherwise this would be just one big long "Groundhog Day" moments. right?

 

[blckmax]

I don't think I would do it any differently - maybe sooner, but no differently. Luckily, my very understanding and supportive wife was with me when we told our kids, our friends, and my Mom! We are still great friends and companions and almost all of our friends are fine with me as I am! I count my blessings for that every day!

I am especially lucky that my kids are as supportive and loving to me, as are all of their friends!

 

[Christopher123]

There's one thing I'd do differently - tell my parents before they died.

However, it wouldn't have made any difference to tell my dad because I think he already suspected and "disowned" me a long time ago anyway. Wanted nothing to do with me at all. After my parents divorced, he moved to another state with my wicked stepmother (NOT an exaggeration, the woman was psychotic) and that was that. He'd send Christmas and birthday cards back unopened, so I eventually gave up. I don't know if he actually suspected I was gay, but he did tell me he didn't like the company I kept or the way I acted or the way I did anything at all. In his eyes, I could never do anything right. I was a "failure that would never amount to anything."

Or so he told me on a regular basis.

Now, my mom, I know she would have understood because she truly did love me. Just as I could never do anything right in my dad's eyes, to my mom I could never do anything wrong. But she had too many health problems and we went through many years of hardship before she finally succumbed to everything and I just never felt it was the right time to say anything. She had enough bullshit in her life as it was.

I can't really say I'm totally out because most of my family doesn't know. But then these are people I haven't talked to in years. I don't associate with my blood relatives very much, except for my brother and sister. I mean like aunts and uncles and cousins and all that. But with a few exceptions of people that may or may not know (because I don't really care if they know or not) most everyone I associate with on a regular basis knows I'm gay. Friends, co-workers, that kind of thing.

Everyone else can kiss my ass.

 

[trawler69]

^The post above by Maneater is a self confessed lie from another post, check his posts.

 

[jockboy01]

If Maneater's is a lie, it should be removed rather than discouraging others.

I would do it again... up to this point. I'm not totally out by any means. But partway. The family is still a big hurdle at some point to conquer. But my coming out has been quite slow and controlled and well received. I didn't specifically tell that many. Myspace I think has gotten the point across to several. But my friends all know me well enough that they know that making a big deal out of being gay wouldn't be my style. So they're fine with it I think. I've never had the conversation b/c they all know I'm still me. Things have been much better since some people know and I would definitely do it again and the same way. As to earlier... I don't think so. It came at a good time... at most 3 years earlier is all I would have wanted.

 

[Soilwork]

You know, I could say that I woudln't have invited my sister to come visit me and my BF so she could go home and out me to my parents and maybe we'd all get along better now.

But really, I'm happy with who I am now, and had I not been forced to stand up to my parents and defend myself, maybe I wouldn't have grown that hard exterior that you (virtually) all know and love.

 

[Riverrick]

Well, of course I'd come out again. My life only really started after I came out.

Antares, it sounds like you are doing very well. Congratulations on coming out to so many people.

Christopher123, your story is really heartbreaking. I'm really sorry that you've lost your parents at such a young age. That is very sad. As is the part about your father rejecting you. Some things are just impossible to understand.

O2, I'm like you. I do the best I can and so its very hard to have regrets. I would approach coming out differently with hindsight, as I would a lot of other things in my life.

 

[Steppenwolf]

I wouldn't want to go through the coming out process again, but I'm glad I did it. In some ways I wish I would have done it years earlier. Only then I would have had a different life and not had the same experiences, good and bad, that I've had.

So essentially if I could go back again, I'd do it again the same way.

 

[sb]

I would definetly do it again. I would do it when I was 14 instead of 19. I have enough going on in my life without having to worry about hiding and lying about who I am.