Now what the fuck do I do?

[yeeeaaahhh]

So, a long while back I met this guy. Super hot, nice, all that. We became friends on Facebook and he mentioned that I had a boyfriend and I said yeah, but that we had a semi-open thing going on. Our rule was that we talk about it first. And then asked him if he was with anyone and he said like "Yeah, same thing".

So we hung out and messed around a few times, and it was all in good fun, with the assumption that our respective boyfriends knew and were okay with it.

And then last night I talked to him and said that we should get together when I am back in town, and he said that we maybe could, because his boyfriend "has been around a lot more lately." And I told him to just tell his boyfriend that he's coming over for some fun. And he said "I can't do that, he would break up with me!"
At which point I asked "Uhhhh... well he knows that we've done stuff, right... you guys have an open relationship"
To which he said that they didn't.

Fuck.

I am "the other guy" all of the sudden. What was once just some fun between two guys in an open thing, because me being the "whore" on the side.

So now I feel like shit, and I am super confused. Obviously I'm not going to mess around with him anymore. But, should I tell his boyfriend. But how the hell would that go "Hi, I'm Aaron... the guy that your boyfriend cheated on you with. But don't get me wrong... I didn't know at the time."
Yeah right.

So, what do you guys think? Should I just not talk with him anymore... should I try and contact his boyfriend... should I even feel like shit?

Help me

 

[jackry]

As you know you did nothing wrong. So don't beet yourself up thinking too much about it.

As to telling his bf... Don't bother. The bf will find out soon enough. If he cheated on him with you he probably cheated with other dudes. Sooner or later he will find out. You don't know the dynamics of there relationship, better to let sleeping dogs lye. (so to speak)

 

[JasunStrikesBack]

should I try and contact his boyfriend... should I even feel like shit?

Help me

Good God, lady, what a busy bee you are.

Just let it go and mind your own business.

Jesus.

 

[FPNY]

dude, you shouldn't feel like shit, the guy lied to you. forget him, don't say anything to his bf, and move on.

 

[G-Lexington]

You now know that he's not in an open relationship, so you're done with him. End of story.

...and I don't know. If someone said "I have a boyfriend, but we've got a semi-open thing going on", I'd interpret that to mean "I've got a boyfriend, but let's not bring that up right now".

Lex

 

[hawkia]

Agree with Jasun on this one not your problem...let it go

 

[Telstra]

LOL, you are not a girl.
Stop gossiping too much.

 

[jizzeater]

I agree with these guys. You didn't do anything wrong and have no obligation to inform his BF.

 

[Dobson73]

... should I try and contact his boyfriend... should I even feel like shit?

Help me

Warning! Warning! Danger! Danger! Who the heck are you to interfere with his relationship with his boyfriend?

That's his issue, Honey, ain't nothing to be doing with you.

Agghhh, walk away. Immediately! If you ever did that to me and I'd chosen to be playing around with another man, Dear God, I would hunt you down and it wouldn't be a quick or painless death you'd face.

Have a nice day.

 

[NickCole]

You're not a whore, you haven't done anything wrong and nobody else's relationship is your business.

Your mind is in search of drama. That's not a bad thing. Find a good book to read.

 

[irish1]

So, a long while back I met this guy. Super hot, nice, all that. We became friends on Facebook and he mentioned that I had a boyfriend and I said yeah, but that we had a semi-open thing going on. Our rule was that we talk about it first. And then asked him if he was with anyone and he said like "Yeah, same thing".

So we hung out and messed around a few times, and it was all in good fun, with the assumption that our respective boyfriends knew and were okay with it.

And then last night I talked to him and said that we should get together when I am back in town, and he said that we maybe could, because his boyfriend "has been around a lot more lately." And I told him to just tell his boyfriend that he's coming over for some fun. And he said "I can't do that, he would break up with me!"
At which point I asked "Uhhhh... well he knows that we've done stuff, right... you guys have an open relationship"
To which he said that they didn't.

Fuck.

I am "the other guy" all of the sudden. What was once just some fun between two guys in an open thing, because me being the "whore" on the side.

So now I feel like shit, and I am super confused. Obviously I'm not going to mess around with him anymore. But, should I tell his boyfriend. But how the hell would that go "Hi, I'm Aaron... the guy that your boyfriend cheated on you with. But don't get me wrong... I didn't know at the time."
Yeah right.

So, what do you guys think? Should I just not talk with him anymore... should I try and contact his boyfriend... should I even feel like shit?

Help me

You did a great job of answering your own concerns.
Forget Him.
Don' tell the boyfriend.
Let go and move on.
Oh, and don't beat yourself up about this; you didn't do anything wrong.

Why is it the hottest guys are the biggest morons (sorry, personal experience seeped in here!)?

 

[yeeeaaahhh]

Thanks guys for the help. I was really freaking out about this. With everything with my mom, and then this... I kinda just lost my mind for a bit. It's good that you have my back. So thanks

Each of you said you had a "SEMI-OPEN" thing? What the hell is that, a new way to say I have a boyfriend but if I want to cheat I will? I think you should walk away from this one, stick to your boyfriend and stop messing around with fire. Hope at least you played safer.

I always say that I'm in a "semi-open" relationship, because Kyle and I have rules. Rule 1) We always talk about it before. No just going off and having sex with a guy on a whim. Rule 2) Sex with other guys is always safe, 100%. No cutting corners on that one. Rule 3) Sex with other guys can't come before, or get in the way of, sex between him and I.

If I were in an "open" relationship, the way I'd see it, I could just do what I want. But, I can't, so I just add that qualifier.

Make sense?

 

[G-Lexington]

...and what did HE say about HIS "semi-open" relationship? That's the real thing. If he dismisses it with a "nah, we're cool"...you can guarantee it ain't.

Lex