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Odd Situation At Work

matt1980111

matt1980111

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Hey everyone.
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I'm openly gay at my job and it has never really been a problem (in fact, my job was included on the list of 100 greatest places to work for GLBT people!). *
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Well, one of my cube mates (we'll call him Hector) has got to be the sexiest guy in the company. He's also incredibly funny and just goofy as hell. A bunch of fun to be around. He's just really relaxed. And of course, he's straight (just my luck).
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Here's the issue: there's a new group of employees on our floor. One guy in particular (we'll call him…Lamonte) is also openly gay. (Damn him! I was the token gay for our floor! lol). Hector told me that every time he looks up, Lamonte's eyes are on him. Every time he walks across the room, he can feel Lamonte's eyes watching him.
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After Hector told me this, I kept an eye out for it. And sure enough, it was true. If he wasn’t talking on the phone or to another co-worker, his eyes were on Hector. Hector went to the bathroom and Lamonte's eyes followed him all the way there.
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So Hector asked me how can he handle the situation. Hector is far from homophobic but it is really..uh.. weird how Lamonte is leer at him. I told him just to ignore it. That’s the only thing I can think of. If he approaches the guy, it turns into a possible HR issue.
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How would you handle the situation?
 
Tell Hector to stop being so damn sexy at work.

Seriously, if it bothers Hector, Hector should have a talk with Lamonte. He's an adult. He should fight his own battle like a man. If this stalkish behavior does not stop & Hector still feels uncomfortable, Hector should bring it up to his manager or Lamonte's manager.
 
Um, problem is that being gay, Lamonte can accuse him of discrimination. As much as I hate to admit it, at certain places we have the same unfair influence that female students have over professors in universities.
 
I don't think it's possible to lodge a complaint based on looks alone, nor do I think you ought to get involved. Triangulation is never pretty and seldom works. I think he's on his own here.
 
Agreeing with Seasoned. I don't think it is your place to get involved in a situation like this. This is just between Hector and Lamonte. If it is, in fact, true that Lamonte is doing anything to contribute to a hostile work environment for Hector, he needs to report it to the HR office. But stay out of this.
 
Well OP says he's seen it happen. I don't see anything wrong with him saying something in a friendly manner. There is no conflict here, nor an actual problem yet, so I think it's perfectly fine. I mean, it's just bad form to ogle people anyway.

Half of the world's problems would be solved instantly if third parties intervened instead of saying it's none of their business...
 
you should say something to the drooling gay co-worker---it's not right and if it were some weird str guy drooling every day over a hot chick---most would agree something should be said--guys like Hector who are not homophobic need out help---if you want to drool do it at home staring at porn.
 
What is your company policy towards sexual harassment in the work place? If Hector has informed you of the situation, you may be obligated to go to HR yourself. Otherwise, you need to speak to Hector again and tell him that he needs to address this with Lamonte personally. If things do not change, then he has every right to lodge a complaint to HR. No one deserves to be leered at, and it's not something you should ignore.
 
You all have great advice! Thanks for replying! I've given it some time and...

I feel like I need to step in but I think it just makes thigs worse! I've advised Hector to just ignore it. And if it continues to happen, go to HR about it.

But this is why it's a tricky situation: nothing has actually happened at this point. It's annoying but it's not like he groped Hector.

And as Roly has pointed out, Hector approaching Lamonte could lead to even more HR problems.
 
matt1980111 said:
And as Roly has pointed out, Hector approaching Lamonte could lead to even more HR problems.
Click to expand...
And what's the problem? :confused: Perhaps Lamonte will then learn from HR on how to behave professionally at work.
 
Sexual harassment includes leering. "Nothing happened" is ignoring the problem. Hector needs to step up for himself and just go up to Lamonte and say, "Excuse me, but your constant staring is making me feel uncomfortable and I would appreciate it if you would stop. Thank you."
 
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