SayWhat, I just have to say thanks for writing this story. I discovered it last night and read it at one sitting. I connected to it on so many levels. You wrote in a captivating, cliff hanging way - and you wrote about characters I cared about a lot. And it somewhat reminded me of someone from my past.
Like a lot of us, I had a best friend who I fell very much in love with. We met while I was in college - a Christian college. The friendship was instantaneous and mutual. I was ecstatic every time we talked or hung out together. I had a girlfriend at the time, and while I loved her, I was IN LOVE with him. But I never wanted to do anything to risk losing him. I thought it would be best to have in my life as a friend than not at all. There was never any sexual contact - but a lot of sexual tension. We wrestled a lot! And I struggled with my inner feelings and not being jealous when he dated girls.
I even fixed him up with the woman who became his wife - and was in their wedding. He told me shortly before they married that if I was a girl, he would have married me. That made me feel so good and so bad at the same time.
After college we were separated by a thousand miles. We kept in touch as much as we could, and even though we didn't get to see or talk to each other as much as we did in college, the bond was still there. It was always natural.
After I finally came out, I didn't initiate contact as much. Because of my Christian upbringing, I was afraid to tell him I was gay. I was fearful he wouldn't accept me. Finally, after meeting my partner and settling down, I decided to tell my friend. I wrote him a LONG letter explaining what led me to this point in my life (including my feelings for him during my college years) and told him I realized that we never really were best friends if I couldn't be honest with him about my life. I apologized for not telling him sooner - because that meant I didn't trust him. I never heard from him after I wrote him.
Wow. I can't believe I wrote all of this. Writing this reminds me of what we could have had if things had taken a different turn. But at the same time, the events in our lives - and how we deal with them - ultimately lead us to where we are. And I'm happy. So I don't regret. But I do miss him as a friend.
But I'm sure there are some similar stories out there with happy endings - like Dominick and Derek. Again, thanks for writing. You did a wonderful job.
Like a lot of us, I had a best friend who I fell very much in love with. We met while I was in college - a Christian college. The friendship was instantaneous and mutual. I was ecstatic every time we talked or hung out together. I had a girlfriend at the time, and while I loved her, I was IN LOVE with him. But I never wanted to do anything to risk losing him. I thought it would be best to have in my life as a friend than not at all. There was never any sexual contact - but a lot of sexual tension. We wrestled a lot! And I struggled with my inner feelings and not being jealous when he dated girls.
I even fixed him up with the woman who became his wife - and was in their wedding. He told me shortly before they married that if I was a girl, he would have married me. That made me feel so good and so bad at the same time.
After college we were separated by a thousand miles. We kept in touch as much as we could, and even though we didn't get to see or talk to each other as much as we did in college, the bond was still there. It was always natural.
After I finally came out, I didn't initiate contact as much. Because of my Christian upbringing, I was afraid to tell him I was gay. I was fearful he wouldn't accept me. Finally, after meeting my partner and settling down, I decided to tell my friend. I wrote him a LONG letter explaining what led me to this point in my life (including my feelings for him during my college years) and told him I realized that we never really were best friends if I couldn't be honest with him about my life. I apologized for not telling him sooner - because that meant I didn't trust him. I never heard from him after I wrote him.
Wow. I can't believe I wrote all of this. Writing this reminds me of what we could have had if things had taken a different turn. But at the same time, the events in our lives - and how we deal with them - ultimately lead us to where we are. And I'm happy. So I don't regret. But I do miss him as a friend.
But I'm sure there are some similar stories out there with happy endings - like Dominick and Derek. Again, thanks for writing. You did a wonderful job.
