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Oh God... I think my best friend likes me

deelong

deelong

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Okay, my friend Josh and I have been friends every since junior high. He and I are both gay. And we are practically brothers. I never even thought of progressing our friendship further into a relationship.

Well, for the past couples of months, a couple of his friends has asked him about our relationship. They always ask, "Do you guys like each other?", "Are you guys going out?". And he told me these things, but we both established that we didn't like each other.

Today was a little different. He was acting very nervous when he wanted to ask me this question. He finally asked me,

"If we weren't brothers, would you go out with me?"

And I said, "No... I don't like you".

"What do you think of me?"

"Your alright... Your just not my type... Going out with you, would be like having an actual intimate relationship with my real brother... Would you go out with me?"

And then he says, "I don't know":eek:

Then the rest of our conversation just became extremely awkward. I only like Josh as a friend. I would never go out with him. And I think that he is starting to develop feelings towards me. I don't want to lose him as a friend, because he is my best friend, and the only gay friend that I have.

Help me please. What should I do?

PS: Why can't two gay males just be friends and nothing more?
 
deelong said:
Okay, my friend Josh and I have been friends every since junior high. He and I are both gay. And we are practically brothers. I never even thought of progressing our friendship further into a relationship.

Well, for the past couples of months, a couple of his friends has asked him about our relationship. They always ask, "Do you guys like each other?", "Are you guys going out?". And he told me these things, but we both established that we didn't like each other.

Today was a little different. He was acting very nervous when he wanted to ask me this question. He finally asked me,

"If we weren't brothers, would you go out with me?"

And I said, "No... I don't like you".

"What do you think of me?"

"Your alright... Your just not my type... Going out with you, would be like having an actual intimate relationship with my real brother... Would you go out with me?"

And then he says, "I don't know":eek:

Then the rest of our conversation just became extremely awkward. I only like Josh as a friend. I would never go out with him. And I think that he is starting to develop feelings towards me. I don't want to lose him as a friend, because he is my best friend, and the only gay friend that I have.

Help me please. What should I do?

PS: Why can't two gay males just be friends and nothing more?
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Tell him as you tell people here.
Because both like cocks ...... :p
 
I must be picky because I never had a crush on a friend and never expect to due to boundaries. You've done the right thing in letting him know how you feel. Now it's up to him to channel that energy elsewhere.
 
I guess he's fallen in love with your personality, knowing you all this time.
 
TopherGF said:
I've never had a strictly platonic relationship with another gay man. one (or both) of us has always developed feelings for the other. Or at least sexual desires. It just seems to be the nature of the situation.

You've already told him you're not interested. He's just going to have to deal with it. Unfortunately, it may hinder your friendship, but it's better in the long run to express your feelings than to pretend they don't exist.
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Thanks, I think your right. I just never knew that he would start having feeling for me.
 
Seasoned said:
I must be picky because I never had a crush on a friend and never expect to due to boundaries. You've done the right thing in letting him know how you feel. Now it's up to him to channel that energy elsewhere.
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Thanks for your help
 
Yeah, the two of you need a larger social group.
 
put him down gently. say you value his friendship a lot. that taking it into another level would risk everything you have (which is true). even if you liked him back and went into a relationship that would most likely end sourly.... guys come and go (usually), friends are there for the long haul

i have purely platonic relatinships with many gay guys
 
Let him down gently and be patient with him. Above all, try not to feel anger towards him or feel that he has betrayed your friendship in any way - if he has fallen for you, it hasn't been with any bad intentions, like to hurt you or to damage the friendship. You may need to back off a bit from the friendship for a while but there's no reason why, in time, you guys can't still be good friends. Probably you will be and hopefully one day you'll both have partners and all be great friends.
 
hard to tell how the convo went down but it sounds like you were tough on him - not very sensitive - "No ... I don't like you"

while it's true

seems sort of a rough way to treat a friend - a good friend who likes u more than as a friend

i would do some damage control

not so as to give him hope that more could come

but to explain just what you mean in a better way
 
Agreed - it's a significant thing when someone falls for you. The feelings that the person has for you are special, regardless of whether they're reciprocated. One should always treat someone who falls in love with you with the utmost sensitivity and respect.
 
future_retro said:
Agreed - it's a significant thing when someone falls for you. The feelings that the person has for you are special, regardless of whether they're reciprocated. One should always treat someone who falls in love with you with the utmost sensitivity and respect.
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future retro is right, put yourself in his position, i'm sure you've been there and liked a friend who didn't like you back. I've been rejected without warning by one of my gay friends for admitting my feelings towards him. No warning just refuses to talk to me, hurt like hell.

Better to be loved than not at all :-)
 
When I said, "No... I don't like you" I didn't say it in a rude way. I don't think it was rude of me to tell him how I felt. And him and I are always rude to each other, that's how our friendship works. How else was I suppose to tell him?
 
^ with greater care and sensitivity

goofing around and being rude to each other is great - but not in this instance
 
You're just friendzoning him, I think. If he is a nice guy, why don't you give it a try and see how things work out? You might even develop romantic feelings in the future.

And sorry if this sounds odd or goes against conventional wisdom, but I really want to rescue someone from the friendzone. Haha.
 
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